Noooo Way Maaaan

OMG kids we are wearing weed in our birthday suit! No foolin' just read it on MSNBC.com here's the article: Skin churns out marijuana-like brain chemicals

That's why my skin was always so clear in high school and college :0)~

And further proof that perhaps it's time we solve our recession problem by legalizing a chemical that apparently our body makes anyway. Legalize weed, license people to farm and sell it, tax the ever livin' shit out of it and VOILA...budget problem solved! Plus the hillbillies down south will be upgraded their john boats for bass boats, trading in their 1974 Bronco's for a spiffy 1999 Bravada, and every shack around will have a hot tub out by the well......

Ok I am joking about the hillbilly surplus, but if people studied this seriously...the reasons our government developed such a propaganda against marijuana in the first place (completely a ploy to further segregate and punish blacks) and the studies that have shown the stoner to be no less dangerous, and usually less, than the local drunk. I don't care for the drunk hanging around all the time either...but it's legal. And every drink I serve at the tavern is taxed for the good of our state and country. My advice...if I were president...make weed legal too. Let all those party animals get jugged up and stoned! There'd be a lot less fighting and lot less unwanted pregnancies....who has the motivation to kick ass or chase ass when you are drunk and stoned....'dude ya got any chips?' LMAO

Yeah yeah I am poking fun at a controversial topic....what else is new. I am all for legalizing pot. I've seen far more fucked up and dangerous drunks in my day. Live and Let Live...and make a little tax money while you are at it!! Hell it was good enough for George Washington!

The Great Debaters

I have decided that the only person I can truly help or make changes for is ME! I can't make anyone else change. And Lord knows I am needing to make a few changes. I have come to a big decision, that will include a journey I may have to travel alone. I am going to go back to school and finish my degree. The ultimate goal is a Master's in English, but the short term goal is a Bachelor's Degree.

Hubby has not been supportive of this desire for quite sometime, but I honestly think that the way things have been lately, he knows I am going to do it anyway so he might as well jump on the wagon or walk behind. I am going to do it, and am currently in the process of deciding if English is truly my passion. I am undecided. Something related to Human Services or Counseling would also be fitting for me. Child Psychology was another option. It's a lot to think about it. But I have regretted most of my adult life that I didn't finish my Bachelor's...all because I fell in love with a boy...dumbass (not hubby, different dumbass :0)

I need this for me. Not for income, not for extra retirement money, not for quality college options for the kids....for me. All of the rest will be an added bonus. But it's going to be a long haul with a partner who truly doesn't see any sense in it....I suppose he's happy with life and I just should be too. I DO NOT regret my choice to SAH with my kids....I would have done that regardless, these are years I'll never get back. But the constant knowledge that I am not living up to my potential drives me mad! And as much as I love him, it's hard to express your passion for writing and literature to someone who has absolutely no interest in such things. *Sigh*

The Swearin' Church Lady

Ok I just have to confess something funny that has occurred on a church committee. Each August our church has a picnic complete with all the things Protestant faiths seem to loathe us Catholics for.....Gambling, Drinkin', Dancin', and shamelessly profiting off the public! LOL! You can come get a big fat fried chicken dinner with all the fixin's, or grab a brat or burger at the lunch stand, play Bingo all day, buy Raffle Tickets for various things...including a pricey raffle that sells $100 tickets for a brand new pick-up truck (limited amount of tickets printed), play games with your kids, listen to local bands and kick up your heels, then head to the beer garden and get your belly full of beer. Praise the Lord and Hallelujah! This picnic is HUGE for us, and after expenses usually garners our parish about $30-$40K each year.

In order for this to work, all parishioners are expected to work a shift. There are many many jobs to fill and it takes every able body we have to get everything done. I am on the committee that assigns these jobs. Our parish has 500+ people so you can imagine what a task this is. In addition to your job, you are expected to bring vegetables from your garden such as cabbage and peppers for slaw and tomatoes for the dinner, and various other garden bounty and home made items for the "Country Store" stand. Also, each woman is required to bring either 2 pies or a cake, depending on the 'Circle' you are assigned to. When a woman in our parish gets married she is assigned to a circle. We have 4 Circles. You are in that circle until they start calling other circle members to bring food to your funeral dinner....you get my drift? So any hoo.....the parish puts a tremendous amount of effort into this. "THE LIST" is highly anticipated (and highly bitched about)...you can never please everyone, so you just do the best you can to try and cover your ass...

Well the cover page to the list always explains which 'Circle' needs to bring what etc....plus it gives specific instructions for the various stands. Now THANK GOD I am not the one who typed this because nobody would have believed it was accident. I am just ornery enough to have done this on purpose....LMAO! One sentence in the cover page reads like this

"First shit leaders should arrive 15 minutes early to prepare their stand."

Now, clearly that is supposed to say "shift"....but that ain't what it says! LMAO!!!

Yes they resent it to the printer....all 300 pages of it are being reprinted. I swear I didn't do it!

All Aboard the Crazy Train

"Noooooooooo"

"Moooommmmmmy"

"I'm tellin'!"

"Stop it!!!!!"

"That's Mine"

"Hey Jada, hey Jada, hey Jada"

"Will you make him stop following me?"

"Will you make her play with me?"

"He took my toy!"

"He won't share!"

"He Jada did you know that a stegosaurus has these things on it's back that are like metal plates? They are not really metal, but I bet they felt like metal. Did you know that? I wonder what they would feel like if you touched them? Do you think they were cold? Or I wonder if they were sharp? I bet if he got in a fight with another dinosaur he could win because he'd have these big giant things on his back like knives and he would be like this super cool Ninja dinosaur. Did you remember today is my birthday? Did you buy me something? Did you get me what I asked for? Can I have it now or do I have to wait?" (all of this said in about a span of 20 seconds)

*BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP* (this sound emanating from a toy cell phone that my special needs child likes to push repeatedly for about a 20 minute stretch)

*Beep Beep* (timer for lunch going off)

"Is it ready?"

"How much longer?"

"I don't think I like that...."

"I don't like peas!!!"

"I want something else"

"Where's my drink? Why don't I get a drink? How come he has a drink and I don't have one?"

Just as I finally serve everyone and sit down to my cold plate of food.....

"I don't have a napkin!"

"I spilled my milk!"

"Why does he have more applesauce than me?"

"I don' t have a fork!"

"He touched my food!"

And finally words of wisdom from the fast talking 10 year old birthday boy with a thing for dinosaurs. "Jada, your job sucks!"

I am currently in search of a padded room. Preferably one with a well stocked wet bar.

Hackin' Up The Headlines

If you caught your morning news you are seeing two big headlines today....first of all the Rev. Jesse Jackson wants to cut Obama's nuts off...well ain't that just solidarity for ya?! Good grief. I am sure there are more people who'd like to see Jackson's nuts dipped in batter, deep fat fried and served on a platter. Oh, sorry, that must be the hillbilly comin' out it in me. Hog balls are a delicacy around here....I just have to say that guy gives me gas. Always has. Always running his mouth....what exactly does he do? Actions speak louder than words. Please correct me if I am wrong, but does this man ever do anything that doesn't involve a camera crew following him around? Isn't his face I always see popping up in the latest racial controversy? Does he actually do anything else when there are no major headlines to be captured? He strikes me as the kind of man who wouldn't spare a dime for a homeless man, he'd be the guy growling "Take a bath hippie" Just my opinion....He certainly is no Martin Luther King Jr.

Then there is the JonBenet Ramsey case....can I just say it's about fuckin' time! It would have been nice for the family to receive this apology from the DA's office before Patsy Ramsey had to suffer an agonizing death from cancer. Yeah...good one guys. Way to go. The woman suffers the horrible reality of having her own child murdered in her own home....the fact that she was sexually assaulted only adds to the horror...then you accuse her and her husband of doing it. Convince a town, a state and a nation (thanks to our fact checking, dirt loving media) that they are guilty...everywhere they go for the rest of their lives...suspicion...now one of them is gone and you finally....FINALLY admit that ya fucked up! Good one boys...that's all I can say.

So yeah, I'm bitchy this morning...can ya tell.

Oh and just a correction from my last post (I am leaving it because, well, it's hilarious) but when I was talking about a flagellation situation....uh yeah, I meant farts...you know flatulence. I just had momentary attack of dumbassitis. But to go from flatulence to flagellation...now that's a doosey!

Winning Losers

Today we loaded up and went to the county fair to support my 8 year old neighbor and day care child who was showing her bucket calf in the Beef Show. I always enjoy taking the kids to see all the animals, Gus is fascinated with chickens and River loves the rabbits. They all had fun harassing the geese (which they were promptly scolded for!) and we all held our nose in the swine barn! One thing I can say about the livestock barns is that if you have just eaten a plate of red beans and rice and are in a flagellation situation...ain't nobody gonna know! LOL! I am used to the cattle smell of course, and the smell of horse manure holds fond memories from my childhood (as much as manure could possibly represent anything fondly remembered) but the pigs are somethin' you just never quite get past....Good God!

Her bucket calf, named "Spot" didn't win Grand Champion, but put on a good show anyway. She was the tiniest of the competitors and at one point in time tried to lay down and take a nap(the calf, not the girl)...which was adorable to me. She couldn't be bothered with the trappings of this little beauty contest. But the kicker was when the judge asked my little darlin "Why do you think I should pick your for Grand Champion?" her answer...."I don't know...." Her explanation to me as soon as the show was over was this "I didn't know what to say, I didn't want to say something to make someone else loose...."

Now doesn't that just make you smile......

So now I am home with a belly full of Gyros, funnel cake and orange shake ups. Add a few beers to that since I have been home and Mama is a happy happy girl! I skipped the deep fat fried Snickers...I figured that might be over kill....

I can't resist.....

I just had to post the video for Wagon Wheel, it's hilarious. If it's the first time you have ever heard the song I almost pity you seeing this because this image will forever be burned in your mind, and it truly is a beautiful song....but the video is too damn funny not to post. Not to mention the utter HOTNESS of the lead singer Ketch!!!! Mmmmmmm Hope you enjoy!

Old Crow Medicine Show

There is this band that I keep meaning to blog about. Not just any band, but the ultimate band, in my opinion. You can check them out on my play list, but better yet check them out here. And catch them live if they ever hit your neck of the woods. They are a quintent of young men, all but one of them is under 30, who have incredible talent with folk instruments. Many of them play multiple instruments, often simultaniously. Like Bob Dylan and Bruce Springsteen before them, they are an impressive sight to behold and their sound takes me away to a place in my heart that brings me joy! I can't help but smile when these boys are playing on my radio.


This band has been as influential to me as artists such as Bob Dylan, Janis Joplin, The Grateful Dead and Crosby Stills Nash and Young. In my opinion they are as relevant to modern times as they would have been 40 years ago, with timeless lyrics and a raw but polished sound. They adored by fans ranging from hard core country and bluegrass lovers to die hard punk rockers. Outlaw Bluegrass is the genre many music journalists have given them. It is fitting.



There have been bands that have represented my generation over the years. Artists that I felt captured the spirit and essence of who we were at that time in our lives. Nirvana would be the perfect example. A raw and raucous symphony of anger and insecurity at a time when being a teenager just sucked. For me Old Crow Medicine Show is another band that has captured and very honestly represents my generation of misfits and delinquents, somewhat reformed and actively redefining our parents version of the American Dream. Old Crow Medicine Show offers pure musical talent, blanketed in lyrics that both take you back to a simpler time and yet remind you of the complicated times we live in. It's safe to say I am a die hard fan!

I discovered them accidentally when our local country radio DJ begrudgingly played their single "Wagon Wheel". I fell in love instantly and ordered a few CD's. Oddly enough, the DJ was not impressed with their sound, but he's an idiot! ;0) This song's chorus was written by Bob Dylan but never finished. One of the band members is quoted as having this to say about finishing this song and turning it into a masterpiece (imo) "maybe all great songs are already out there, to grab it out of the ether and make it come alive". My sons love this song and it is listened to about a dozen times a day in this house...and it truly never gets old. It is a beautiful beautiful song....in includes a line that gives me goosebumps every time and reminds me who I am and what I love about my life....

"And if I die in Raleigh, at least I will die free"

Check them out sometime! You won't be sorry.

Chicken Little

Well as some of you know today was the day I was supposed to go to the Dr. to discuss my fears about possibly being bipolar.

I have to suck it up and admit I cancelled the appointment. Call me chicken. Place me in Egypt. Perhaps I am in denial. However after a long discussion with my husband, who is of the opinion that having 7 children 5 days a week, one with special needs who is prone to repetitive noises all day, a 3 and 4 year old who take the crown for Drama Prom King and Queen of the Year, a 2 year old who has no fear of anything dangerous whatsoever, in addition to 3 school age children who are rambunctious and bored.....I decided, who wouldn't be nuts right now?! I also have 3 other jobs to worry about on top of this job.

So here's the plan...because I am painfully aware that perhaps we (hubby and I) are in denial. I am going to wait until school starts and see how I am feeling. Actually I have pretty much felt fine since I posted about my fears of bipolar disorder. I don't know if perhaps I just needed to vent or if I am kidding myself. My husband swears he has not noticed any of my 'odd' symptoms except for occasionally this summer, since I have taken on a heavier work load. Of course in his perfect world I wouldn't work at all....but that doesn't pay the bills.

I am almost ashamed to admit that I have not kept my commitment to get this checked out. But for the moment I feel fine. We shall see.

The Redneck Yacht Club

Before we had kids, you knew summer had arrived when every Sunday started out by loading up a cooler full of beer and hot dogs and heading to the lake. Some friends of ours have a cabin on a local lake....and by cabin I mean a 35 year old mobile home with several coats of paint, and the luxury of running water (cold only) and a toilet!! Sundays ended late, with a belly full of beer, crispy skin and a light head. Mondays were spent nursing a hangover and sunburn while trying to get through a 8-9 hour shift at work. A song came out a while back by a country singer named something or other called the Redneck Yacht Club...it reminded me so much of the lake crowd, I still chuckle when I hear it. Sometimes the 'lake crew' ventures to the Ohio River and spends the day, stopping to float in the water or lay on the sand bars.

Many hours are spent around a campfire, cracking jokes, sharing stories, spreading rumors, teasing and harassing, solving the world's problems and arguing over the St. Louis Cardinals and the Chicago Cubs, or rival NASCAR drivers. Embarrassing things are said, that one rarely repeats in mixed company, such as tasteless insults and sexual innuendo. Laughs are always guaranteed. Sometimes there are squabbles, but generally a good time is had by all. Even when there is no conversation at all, just staring at the fire, watching the water or staring at the stars. It's good company.

Of course boat rides, skiing, tubing and the likes are enjoyed by all, but what we all enjoy the most is each other. The boats aren't fancy and the skis are old...the beer is cheap and hot dogs are the main food supply. Everybody brings a little something, usually whatever your garden is providing at the time or some sort of snack. Sunday we ate fried rabbit. It was awesome!

Since we had kids my hubby and I don't make it out there much. And these days the beer drinking is mostly replaced with swimming with kids, retrieving snacks and general parenting. But it's still a good time. We are the Redneck Yacht Club. A little older, a little slower, a little bit more responsibility on our shoulders....but still kickin' up our bare feet in dirty water.