Friday, May 30, 2008

What is a Redneck Anyway?? ~ For my Aussie Pal

Ok, this is for Mum-me...who posed the question "what is a redneck anyway"...see they must not have rednecks in Australia. Some would argue this to be a good thing! LOL! But seein's how I am one...well...I gotta say she's missing out.

Here is what Webster's Dictionary has to say on the matter:

red·neck [réd nèk](plural red·necks) n

1. a taboo term for a Caucasian farm hand in the southern United States, especially one regarded as uneducated or aggressively prejudiced

2. a taboo term for somebody who is opposed to liberal social changes, especially somebody regarded as prejudiced
[From the sunburned necks of those who work outdoors in sunny climates]

Encarta ® World English Dictionary © & (P) 1998-2004 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.

However, I suppose I would define myself much differently. For starters I am educated, open minded, liberal, and far from prejudiced regarding race, creed or sexual orientation. However my parents, and their parents before them were the very definition of this term, right down to the farm hand occupation. To this day my dad uses derogitory terms for people of color, and homosexuals, he is ignorant about politics and social climates, and he drives a lawn mower around town because he has had so many DUI's (Driving Under the Influence -Alcohol) that he is never allowed to obtain a driver's license again. His favorite pastime is sitting in his old john boat on the Wabash River catching catfish and walleye.....he is the Webster's Definition of a Redneck.

My brand of Redneck is much different, in my opinion. For me being a redneck is all about rural life. I live in a very remote, rural community that is far from any real 'town' and is hundreds of miles away from any city. To go shopping at a 'mall', I have to drive at least 2 hours! We farm, we like big trucks and 4-wheelers (ATV's). We like to go muddin', drink beer, have lots of babies, swear a lot, go to church on Saturday evening and go to the tavern Saturday night, loud music, and NASCAR racing. The men tend to chew tobacco and a ton of us still smoke cigarettes, despite the dangers. Our favorite wine comes freshly bottled in a milk jug from the neighbor's basement and moonshine making is a favorite pastime. We eat a lot of our own homegrown food, and entirely too much gravy! Pretty much anything dipped in batter and deep fat fried is considered a delicacy, including but not limited to pickles, mushrooms, okra, cauliflower, cheese, meat, fruits and even candy bars. (yes you read that right....)

You can usually find me out in the yard somewhere, sunburnt and dirty LOL...we are outdoor people. We hunt for fun and fish for leisure. I can shoot a gun, drive a "3 on a tree" stick shift, pee outside if necessary and don't bat an eyelash at butchering our own meat. I can cook just about any meal under the sun - outside! Yes I could make fettucine alfredo over a wood fire if I had too... As teenagers up we drank too much, smoked too much, swam in the river, and wrecked our Dad's trucks. Some of us didn't survive these fast and furious days. We have been busted by the cops at parties exceeding 300 people hidden out in the middle of a pasture field, miles from anywhere...we have ran from them in corn fields and wooded lands and rarely been caught. None of these are things to brag about, but they are truths about how my husband and I grew up.

See there are no community centers, YMCA's, or Youth Outreach Programs here. There wasn't much for kids to do but get in trouble. Hard work was expected out of most of us at home, we worked hard and we played hard...but when it was time to play, the only thing there was to do was load up a cooler of beer and meet your friends somewhere secluded and act stupid! Some of that is changing, or so it seems, and THANK GOD! Because now that I am a parent I don't want my kids doing ANY of the things I did! Lord Help Me! But back in my day (about 15 years ago) this was just how it was.

So that leads me to who I am today. Still that ornery little country girl, but one who has learned a lot of life lessons in my day. We lost some friends on this journey to adulthood and that was hard - we still think of them often and know they are looking down on us. We learned a lot about the kind of parents we wanted to be, and the kind of things we wanted to change with our own children. We have vowed to be more involved in their education and activities. But we took a lot of positive things from our upbringing as well. Around here, you can always count on your neighbor...whether it be something as small as a cup of sugar, or as large as plowing your fields...people around here stick together and help each other out. You always stop for someone on the side of the road, you always take food to people who are ill or have suffered a death in the family, and you respect your elders at all times. We are country folk. Things are simple. We are simple. And yes there are still the traditional bigots. There is still an extreme amount of ignorance. But it has been my experience that even the most 'civilized' suburban communities can be full of ignorant bigots too.

Some of the younger generation in my family call me a redneck hippie. I suppose my peace, love and freedom for all mentality lends to that. I am ok with that. That is a good title for me.

Ok and just one more thing Mum-me...the vocabulary. These are things you will hear on a regular basis in my household. Even though most of us were taught proper grammer in school....we still talk like hill billys!

When ya'll gonna git gone? (when will you be leaving?)

Are yous goin to town? (Are you going to town, or are you all going to town)

Seeins how we ain't got any taters I guess we'll just eat corn (Since we have no potatoes we should just eat corn)

You reckon? ~ as in 'you reckon it's time to git to church?' or 'you reckon we oughtta get goin'?" (means-Do you think...?)

I have a hankerin' for - as in a hankerin' for an apple fritter (I have a craving for or desire for...usually with me it involves FOOD!)

Weather is a constant topic of conversation since it affects the farm and our livelihood. You will often hear my husband say It's hotter than a whore in church or It's colder thana well diggers ass.

I could go on and on and on really...but this blog is long enough. So Mum-me, I hope you have a good picture of an American Redneck now! ;0)

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

I saw an amazing sight on Sunday evening. Several of us were at a party, redneck style of course...mud, 4-wheelers, coolers of beer and the NASCAR race on out in the shed, when all of the sudden it started to rain. The sun was still shining to the west and I knew that a rainbow might pop up if we were lucky. Several of us quickly noticed one developing and then a second one on top of it. Here are some pictures I captured that are just gorgeous!!

It was completely full across the horizon, here is a shot of the other end.
And I couldn't resist capturing a shot of the sunset as the rainbow was disappearing into the wind.

Thank God I'm a Country Girl!

What Happened...In my opinion

First I just have to say that I am not at all surprised that someone within the Bush Administration has finally burst out of the closet with tales of deceit and corruption, screaming in anger at the One Man who was supposed to unify this country and create positive change for the American People. I am just surprised it's taken this long.

This blog, of course, should begin with a huge confession. I voted for Bush in 2000. *ashamed face*.

As a young, lower middle class girl, voting in her very first presidential election I found myself drawn to the this Texas Cowboy with his flawed speech, his 'everyman' bravado and his shoot from the hip mentality. I fell for it...hook line and sinker. He seemed like a refreshing change from the 'politics as usual' Clinton administration. However, experience and maturity has shown me that any presidency looks like 'politics as usual' after 8 years. I think the office itself corrupts even the best of men. And clearly Clinton wasn't the best of men before he sat in the Oval Office....I was tired of the scandals and the corruption...I was looking for change. And Bush reminded me of my Grandpa. Straight talkin', fast shootin' George. Despite all my liberal views and hippie love mentality, I fell for him. Oh how I have lived to regret that single moment in the voting booth.

Clearly Scott McClellan lived to regret his faith in George W. Bush as well. The excerpts I have read so far from What Happened have more than confirmed most of my suspicions and fears about this administration. As I watched our soldiers march off to war, and as the body count began to rack up the, the sick feeling in my stomach deepened fearing that his motives were far from justified. The idea that we had sent our young men and women to that battle field and lied to them about their true purpose. The fact that mother's and father's buried their children ~ on both sides of this war ~ sacrificial lambs to a lie, pissed me off. The fact that my best friend spent 15 months over there, miserable and disillusioned about her government and the Army, pissed me off. I am still pissed off! And fought with everything I had to get him out of office in 2004...all the while knowing that Americans historically do not boot out a sitting president in the middle of a war...a fact I wondered if Mr. President was keenly aware of before he set foot in Iraqi sand.

Then there is the CIA scandal. This entire drama fascinated me from the beginning and I long suspected that at the least the Vice President was at the root of this scandal if not the President. Clearly we can see the full picture now through McClellan's eyes. Am I surprised? No. Do I wish that perhaps I could have lived in ignorance and not had to face the fact that my suspicions were true? Yes. I do believe that the full weight and consequence of this one incident is lost on the American people. If allow even one time for our CIA operatives to be fed to the enemy, even if only in theory (fortunately she was yanked from her undercover position before this hit the news), we are defeating the purpose of the CIA and the security of our nation. If the President and his administration can sleep easy at night knowing they declassified information, purposely, to protect the scoundrels within their closets, to distract from their failing war mission, to distract the American people from the fact that they are failing at their job, and risk the safety of the few people who sacrifice their entire lives to protecting our national security, then I fear for our nation as a democracy. This man is dangerous. I used to blame a lot of this on Chaney, thinking *hoping* in some ways that Bush was more of the dim witted second banana in this sitcom, with Chaney pulling the puppet strings. I think this book makes it very clear that Mr. Bush is far more capable of deception and destruction than I gave him credit for.

I am anxious to read this book in it's entirety. I am sure there will be more on this brain is swimming with thoughts of 911, Bin Laden, Gas Prices etc...but right now I need to go fix a loaf of cinnamon toast for the hungry masses! :0)

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Schools Out For Summer....Schools Out Forever...or it seems like it anyway!

They say the key to writing a good blog is to write often. So I suck at blogging...sue me.

Since school has been out I am incredibly busy! Oh my Lord! I have a house full of kids who are already complaining about it being too hot outside...that was it was too cold. It's definitely been adjustment for me as a day care provider! I am used to a house full of pre-schoolers, which for some reason I seem to have more patience with. But we are learning, all of us, to co-exist and have fun, while I try not to loose my sanity in the process! I have found the key so far is to KEEP THEM BUSY! Boredom produces BAD IDEAS! LOL! Which would explain why I spent my teenage years chasing boys and smoking weed! LOL! Ok ~ not funny, but true...maybe just a little bit funny...

Surprisingly the school kids seem at their happiest when they can "help". I came up with a plan to give them jobs and 'reward' their work with incentives like computer time, special movies and the occasional video game or treat. We sat down today to make the job list out, and I'll be damned if those kids didn't more than TRIPLE the workload I had intended for them. They were very excited about all the things they were sure they could do around here. And for the first time in a long time I ended my workday with a clean kitchen. Yes, Moms, I said clean kitchen! I have no delusions that this enthusiasm will last forever...or even for 1 week, but you can bet your sweet fanny I am gonna milk it for all I can!!!!

I have a special needs child also, and I was a bit concerned about his integration with this rowdy group of school kids. But the experience has been fantastic for everyone involved. Much as it was for the pre-schoolers, the kids are learning compassion and patience for people, and are quickly understanding that unless you have walked in someone else's shoes, you really shouldn't judge. One of the older kids told me yesterday that he felt 'sorry' for "Johnny"...I quickly explained that there was absolutely NO reason to feel sorry for him. He has a great life, a great personality and now he has great friends! That made him smile before he quickly ran off to ask "Johnny" if he wanted to play ball. It made my heart smile....the first few days I was worrying, he got left out of a lot of things and bullied a bit for not understanding how to play with them. I feel like I have explained 1000 times that he looks like a big kid, but his brain doesn't work they way theirs do. They seem to be finally getting it, and I am happy. Today he got to be just another school kids as they included him in sitting in a huddle far from my ears where I am sure they were testing out cuss words and talking about farts....I don't want to know...but the smile on "Johnny's" face was priceless. He got to be 'one of the guys'.

There are moments I want to scream, but I have found that enlisting the older kids to dish their own plates, clean up after themselves, help small children with hand washing and shoes has been a tremendous help. And they seem to be very proud of themselves. Which makes me proud of all of us!!! I just might survive the summer!!!

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Seven Facts About Me...finally

I was tagged by Shannon over at the rules are:
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
2. Share seven facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag seven people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Ok Shannon sorry this is very very late....farming season has been busy around here!

Seven facts about Me:
1: I am loud. I talk loud, laugh loud, whisper loud, sing loud...I am just loud loud loud. I don't know why...I can't control it. I know who my true friends are ~ The ones who aren't embarrassed by my laugh at the movie theatre...LOL! But my favorite Aunt is the exact same I think I get it honest ;0) Hi Lorilo!

2. I love video games....I have since I was a kid. I haven't played in years, not since I had kids, but I guarantee if you sat me down and showed me the controls I would be stuck to the game for hours...

3. I shaved my head when I was 14...well the bottom half of it anyway. I was a punk rocker chick! I thought my Mom was gonna die! Oh I left a rat tail though...LMAO I was nuts!

4. I do all kinds of things with my feet. Pick up laundry when my hands are full, change the controls on the TV, pick up toys and just about anything else, hold and flip the pages of a story book, and my toes are so strong I could pinch you hard enough to make you cry ~ Not that I would of course :0)~

5. I am sooooo not a lady! I burp and fart and scratch my least in my own house anyway. I know when manners are called for, but at home, all bets are off! And I could burp you under the table ANY DAY!

6. I secretly think that my boys are the most beautiful little pieces of manhood God created since he made Brad Pitt....I would never tell my friends this out loud...LOL...but I have never seen two boys more beautiful than mine. Although I am sure EVERY mama feels that way! LOL!

7. Someday I want to see the world. To travel. To get out of this one horse town for one month every year and show my kids what life is like in other places on the planet. Rich and poor, historic and new, city and countryside, I would love to have the resources to visit every continent and experience every type of society on the planet. I wish a degree in Anthropology would actually be useful in Southern Illinois...I'd get one! That would be the ultimate for me. But there's only so many National Geographic articles one can write on the small town farmer....

Ok there ya go! Seven Facts About Me...I don't know if I have enough people on my blogroll to tag people who haven't been tagged already!? I need to change that....

I tag:
Third Lady
Mum-Me on Our Aussie Half Dozen
Debbie from The Moore Family
Liz from Double Duty Mom
Debi at Who Says 8 is Enough

Thursday, May 22, 2008

The Triplets have Arrived...

Well after much waiting and watching here on the farm, this:

Has become this:

They are just so ugly they're cute! LOL! The kids are thrilled! So far they are making no noise, but I am sure that will end soon...kind of like bringing home a newborn who never made a peep in the hospital, then screamed for 3 days straight! LOL!

I am very glad they survived! We have all been anxious for their arrival, checking the nest twice a day. They arrived on Tuesday, I knew they were probably hatching because when I checked the nest that morning the mama bird didn't budge! Usually she flies away but this time she just gave me this look like "Give me a break lady, can't you see I'm havin' a kid here!?" When we checked later that evening, sure enough, this is what we found!!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Overflowing with Emptyness

Things are never what they seem.
The cup that overflows,
Is often too shallow to be full.

Fulfilled is not full
On a tiny plate.

Screams are silent
If no one is listening.
Silence is deafening,
If no one hears it.

The struggle
Is exhausting.

© J Stark


Sometimes hearing ears are deaf after all.

Monday, May 19, 2008

True Love and Good Team mates

So I was feeling all sad and blue today and even shedding a few tears thinking that this was going to be bad week to be me...Hubby and I had had a talk last night and it felt to me as if we had gotten nowhere...I felt like my comments had fallen on deaf ears. He went to bed silent and I went to bed feeling rejected.

But this evening when he got home from work he told me he had thought about our conversation all day, and we worked talked about some solutions to our disconnection.

That is true love. Having a man who is willing to and wants to work on the relationship. Not just 'wait till she gets over it'. There is a reason we belong together. We work. It works. We are a good team.

All you singletons out there...never settle for less than a good team mate. That means so much more than all the other stuff. Cause the game of life gets pretty bloody sometimes. Having a strong team gets you through.

True Love and Good Team mates

So I was feeling all sad and blue today and even shedding a few tears thinking that this was going to be bad week to be me...Hubby and I had had a talk last night and it felt to me as if we had gotten nowhere...I felt like my comments had fallen on deaf ears. He went to bed silent and I went to bed feeling rejected.

But this evening when he got home from work he told me he had thought about our conversation all day, and we worked talked about some solutions to our disconnection.

That is true love. Having a man who is willing to and wants to work on the relationship. Not just 'wait till she gets over it'. There is a reason we belong together. We work. It works. We are a good team.

All you singletons out there...never settle for less than a good team mate. That means so much more than all the other stuff. Cause the game of life gets pretty bloody sometimes. Having a strong team gets you through.

True Love and Good Team mates

So I was feeling all sad and blue today and even shedding a few tears thinking that this was going to be bad week to be me...Hubby and I had had a talk last night and it felt to me as if we had gotten nowhere...I felt like my comments had fallen on deaf ears. He went to bed silent and I went to bed feeling rejected.

But this evening when he got home from work he told me he had thought about our conversation all day, and we worked talked about some solutions to our disconnection.

That is true love. Having a man who is willing to and wants to work on the relationship. Not just 'wait till she gets over it'. There is a reason we belong together. We work. It works. We are a good team.

All you singletons out there...never settle for less than a good team mate. That means so much more than all the other stuff. Cause the game of life gets pretty bloody sometimes. Having a strong team gets you through.

Making Waves

Still feeling blue today about the state of my relationship. So many of my friends who have older kids have told us that this is the most difficult stage in the marriage ~ raising toddlers. We try to be mindful of that and openly discuss it. But sometimes it's still hard.....But both of us are very aware of the fact that someday it will just be he and I alone in this big ole house and if we have become strangers, forever is gonna be a long long time.

I just wish I knew how to reconnect with things get like this. Sometimes I just don't have the energy to try, and I can tell he doesn't either. Usually these episodes resolve themselves, as I am sure this one will...but the rough seas of the journey to the resolution are making me sea sick! We had a heart to heart last night, but it really resolved nothing. Sometimes it's like the solutions are right in front of us, but we don't have the energy to reach for them. And sometimes I think it is just the nature of a man to be completely clueless about what a woman needs....and it's is just the nature of a woman to be unable to ask....Somehow having to ask feels like a defeat. I want him to just know.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

The Forever Journey

If I could give one piece of advice to someone preparing for marriage or looking for a spouse it would be this:

It's a full time job.

There is no application and some days it pays more than others, there are few days off and rarely any vacations. It's fun, it's funny, it's sad, it's mad, it's miserable, it's glorious. But it's work. I think too many people see their lives through 'rose colored glasses' until reality sets in. The cold hard facts about marriage, or at least mine anyway are that there are good days and bad days. When your lucky the good outweighs the bad. When you hit a rough patch you just gotta tighten up your seat belt and prepare for a bumpy ride.

Life is feeling bumpy at the moment. Mostly all due to lack of or inability to communicate. I am feeling quite lonely, despite the fact that I never have a moment to myself. As a child who was raised by parents with 8 divorces between them (their marriage ending after less than 1 year), I have always been determined to never give up. And honestly this rough patch is nothing to get excited about, I don't foresee us ever contemplating divorce, we are just growly. But my point to the 8 divorces thing is that sometimes I fear I am genetically pre-disposed to throw in the towel. Just like I am genetically pre-disposed to mental illness and alcoholism. Is there some permanent flaw in me that will someday cause me to rip off my seat belt and jump ship? Is there some flaw that makes me occasionally wonder if the grass isn't greener.....I hope not. It's times like this, the bumpy times, that I let my mind wander to a fantasy land where life is perfect and love is flawless. But we all know that place doesn't exist....not anywhere near my zip code anyway! So I guess I just need to suck it up, and strap on the seat belt!

Saturday, May 17, 2008

One Bourbon, One Scotch and One Beer

Working in a bar gives you tremendous insight into the human soul. I can often tell a life story by the look on the face, the condition of the hands, and the type of drink ordered as soon as they sit down at the bar.

There are the married men, with wives at home, who come in somber and leave happy, with a pep in their step, having washed away any tension they brought in with them. There are the laborers and farmers, who come in dirty and tired, with soft spoken voices, just needing a few to take off the edge before they go home to their families. There are the women, some married, some not, with lonely etched deep into their eyes, searching for companionship in a glass of whiskey or wine. There are couples who come in and sit with very little conversation, until their 3rd drink when they can finally find words to share with each other. There are the hardcore drunks who come in early, quietly sipping until the evening settles in, when their voices seem louder by the hour and jokes come more frequently and the tips flow freely.

Our tavern is small, everyone knows everyone. There's not a lot of outwardly inappropriate behavior as far as adultery and things like that. (Not that it doesn't happen) And everyone knows that the people you are getting drunk with tonight are the same people you are going to sit in church with the next day! LOL! There is a lot of respect and camaraderie in our little farming community. And the people who are my regulars at the tavern seem to truly care about each other. Despite their issues, despite the heartaches, losses, and addictions. Most of them grew up here and have been friends since childhood. It's such a rare occurrence in my mind. Having grown up in 'town' people just don't relate to each other this way anymore. Except here. Strangers come in each weekend, but they rarely stay long. They just come in and soak up the atmosphere and greasy food and leave saying "Now we can finally say we made it out to this little tavern in the boonies we've heard so much about"... we are a novelty to them...but the regulars, are there every weekend, kind of like a redneck version of Cheers.

Regardless of the reason they escape into our little world of alcohol and atmosphere, they are all genuinely good hearted people. I know them well, I know their families well, and I enjoy their company. I take care of them, and they take care of me. We are a family....of some f'd up sort! LOL!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Gay thoughts

I realize this post my offend some of my readers and perhaps even cost me a few. But since I am never one to shy away from voicing my opinion, I feel I must relay my elation regarding the overturning of the Gay Marriage Ban in California! Yay! First of all let me state, I am a Christian, and I realize that traditionally my religion denounces homosexuality. However, while I am deeply spiritual, and very active in my church, I don't feel that I am particularly religious. I think I have blogged about this before. Or maybe that was my MySpace blog...but anyhoo, anyone who knows me pretty much knows I am extremely liberal on these matters. And while I don't intend to sway the opinions of anyone else, no one will sway me either. Let me tell you why.

When I was a little girl, my best friend, we'll call her Suzy, was different than me. While my walls were plastered with posters of Corey Haim and New Kids on the Block, hers were bare. While I spent countless hours preparing myself for my first kiss, practicing on my pillow, my hand, my dolls...and a lot of those posters...she just laughed at me. I was boy crazy for as long as I can remember. My very first boyfriend was in Kindergarten and we were gonna get married and live happily ever after...which lasted for about a month, until I moved to a different town. (Last I heard my first love was in prison these days...nice...I went for the bad boys from the start!) I was always in love with someone! Often more than one at a time! Boys, boys, boys. But not Suzy!

I don't remember when I first learned what the definition of 'gay' was...but I do know that I always knew Suzy was gay. Until 7th grade she never ever spoke of it, but I was her best friend, I knew. I vividly remember the day, one summer, we were sitting outside of our school, we had been playing in the empty parking lot, and she said "Would you still be my friend if I thought I might be gay?" And I can remember stating matter of factly that "I already knew that". She looked at me with such surprise! "YOU DID?" Well of course I did. Perhaps I knew it before she did. And in fact I knew that she was in love with our P.E. teacher, long before she professed it to me. I caught the long stares and giddy excitement when she was around this woman. She had a crush, the same as I had a crush on Scott, Ryan, Eric and Jeremy (all at the same time of course!).

Nobody will ever convince me that this child 'chose' to be gay. Nobody can ever make me believe that this little girl 'chose' a 'deviant' lifestyle....She was born this way. The same way I was born a "Hot Lips Houlihan"...

Now Suzy comes from a Baptist background, her father was even a Baptist minister for a time, although not often in the picture. So Suzy has dealt with deep rooted guilt and shame all of her life, feeling that she was somehow evil and destined for hell. She has gone through more than one period of her life where she has vowed to 'live straight'. However, as a witness to most of these periods, this is Suzy at her darkest, most depressed self. Trying to 'live straight' has nearly killed her a time or two. This is not who she is. And it never will be.

Today Suzy has a wonderful life, far more exciting than mine, in the big city! She has a wonderful companion, a drop dead gorgeous blonde that I am sure most guys would kill for! LOL! And she is happy. She is living the life she was destined to live. I firmly believe this. And as far as my own religious beliefs on this matter, that is an entirely different blog. But my motto is, live as Christ lived. I never saw Christ screaming at, spitting on, or beating a homosexual. I never heard Christ say that love, in any form, is evil. To me, Love is Love. And we should Live and Let Live. And I pray for the day when Suzy can live as a married woman, the same as me, with same benifits and recognition as me.

P.S. I love you 'Suzy!'

The Bestest Day in the Whole Wide World!

This morning I got word that only my after-school daycare kids would be here, so the boys and I headed to town! I have been meaning to pay a 'lend a hand' visit to my good friend who just had a baby. My boys and her 3 year old son are close friends and she and I have been best friends since we were kids, however since we became Mommies we have found it harder to keep in touch like we would like to. She had a baby girl 3 weeks ago and so now it is harder than ever to stay in touch.

We went over and I cleaned her house a bit and took us all out for lunch at the mom n' pop Italian restaraunt. Mmmmm so good...but anyway, we got pizza for the kids and pasta for ourselves and splurged on cheese filled breadsticks and calamari! It was awesome to have a girls day...even if we did have 4 kids in tow. And she enjoyed getting out of the house for a while. We stuffed ourselves silly and dished on the latest gossip and then my 4 year old proclaimed for the entire restaurant to hear "This is the BEST restaurant in the WHOLE WORLD!" Everyone laughed and cheered, it was quite a moment! LOL! And the owner, who heard it from the kitchen came out to thank him for the free advertisement.

We brought her 3 year old son home with us for the day and on the ride home my son once again proclaimed the obvious..he said "This was the Bestest Day in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD!" He was right....

I love my life!

Cow Farts and Carpools

This spring Mother Nature has wreaked enough havoc on the planet to claim an estimated 150,000 lives in Asia alone. There have been numerous deaths in the US from killer storms and tornadoes, volcanoes exploding in Chile, wildfires.... She is quaking, storming, fuming mad at the citizens who inhabit her for the destruction they have caused to her serene and balanced structure.

Sometimes I wonder what the ultimate price is going to be for all of our technological and industrial advances. And even as I sit here, being hypocritical, with my SUV parked in the driveway, and my trash burning in the barrel out by the cow lot (we do not have trash service out here in the boonies), letting my 4 year old play video games while I veg out in front of the computer for a while...I wonder if it will be my children and grandchildren who will pay the ultimate price.

I have made many strides, especially considering the area I live in, to try to go green. Florescent bulbs in every socket, all of our appliances are Energy Star rated, I make several of my own cleaners (for the kids sake also), I opt for paperless billing, I try to reduce our use of disposable table service, I recycle rain water for my flowers, I have given up my daily soak in the big garden tub and replaced it with shower except for the occasional 'pamper me' nights, we raise and eat much of our own produce, I bring my own canvas grocery bags to the store and I try to be mindful of the things I throw away and their potential for re-use. However, when you live in the boonies, there are some things that are just not practical. I can't walk or ride my bike anywhere except the local cemetery or grain mill. Cow's are a fact of life around here, even though they say they are a major contributor to global warming....cow farts = ozone depletion...and frankly I will start to feel guilty about that one the day McDonald's stops serving Big Mac's...but in all seriousness, I try to be mindful of what I can do to help the cause. And hopefully I will pass it on to my children. But is it too late? That is always the question in the back of my mind. Are all our efforts fruitless and pointless now? Was it our parents and grandparents generation's that unknowingly pushed the boulder off the cliff? Are we simply holding toothpicks in the air to hold it back?......I hope not.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Trailer Trash Cuisine

There ain't nothin' a girl can't do without Velveeta cheese and a can of buttermilk biscuits! Tonight's main course is baking right now, cleverly concoted of leftover fried chicken, cut off the bone, cream of chicken soup, some veggies, a little poultry seasoning and cracked black pepper and the secret weapon of Mommies everywhere...Velveeta!!! LOL! I have no idea if it will be any good, but it got rid of the leftovers in my fridge and I know the kids will eat it because there is a pan of fresh baked brownies looming over their heads for a bedtime snack! No supper ~ No brownies!!

Aaaah it's good to be the Queen!! Bwwwwwhhhhaaaaaaaa......

Update: ok it sucked! But the kids loved it and even declared me a "Good Supper Maker"...I guess that's all that matters. But it's nights like this I wish the nearest fast food joint wasn't 20 miles away!

High Tech Redneck

Ok in my last post of Screwed Blued and Tattooed I joked that some guy was gonna stumble upon my boring blog looking for girlie pics or porn right? LMAO! Well, since I am the official High Tech Redneck, I can see how viewers arrived on my blog through Google Analytics and Feedjit. Some dude from Krakow (i assume a dude, perhaps a dudette?) found me by searching for "Divine Breasts" LMAO!!! Boy I bet he was disappointed!!! Sorry dude....yes my breasts are fabulously divine...but you ain't gonna see them here!

I could show you a lot of pictures of cow tits..............

Ok this blog is really gonna bring in the blog search perverts.........not my intent, perhaps I should reword a few things. Nah, what the hell. Bring on the Perverts! LOL! Won't they be so disappointed! Ha!

Have a great Day!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Screwed Blued and Tattooed....yup that's me...

My knees look like I have been giving $20 favors in the redlight district, and my back feels like I have been cramped in the backseat of Geo Metro like a working girl on a good night....LOL! Fortunately (or not, depending on how much money I would have made ;0) the reason is quite innocent. I have been doing manly work! Our front porch has been a work in progress, with the original carpenter crew doing minimal work and we having the intent to finish it ourselves...last year. Now we are into spring and the boards, which are only screwed down in a few places, are starting to warp. God Bless Him, my husband hasn't gotten it done this winter, and with farming season in full tilt, he has no time right now. So I offered to finish the job.....:0)

You should have seen the look on his face when I first suggested this....Oh my...I thought he was gonna laugh at me, but the look on my face probably warned him that he might regret it. But in his defense I have a long history of being overconfident. I am not afraid to try anything, and I am always convinced I will succeed...and usually I do dang it! But he has witnessed a few disasters in our 10 years together and I am sure he was picturing coming home to a huge hole in the middle of the floor or worse yet, the entire structure to have fallen away from the house! Ok maybe I am exaggerating, it only needs the floor boards screwed down tightly. But after much reasoning, he had to agree that if it was left up to him it wasn't going to get done. I am home everyday and it is something I can work on while the kids are playing outside. So I got the green light!!! This was BIG, as I am not really even allowed in the manly domain that is my husband's territory...I don't mow, weed eat or run the tiller. These are his main 'household' chores. (notice they are seasonal, yet my chores are year round and 24/7...there's something wrong with this picture!)

I have to say I am quite proud of myself, things are going very very well! In fact I got a lot accomplished today and had to recharge the power drill 3 just couldn't keep up with me...that's just the kind of kick ass carpenter that I am! We won't mention how much battery juice I wasted unscrewing the screws I screwed up...LOL! But I feel pretty proud of myself. My body on the other hand....mmmm...she's not so happy. My knees aren't quite working properly and my back is telling me mean and nasty things like "You should have stayed in the kitchen where you belong!" or even better "You should have lost about 30 pounds before you volunteered for this job!" but I told her to piss off and I just keep screwin'!

Here is a pic of my front porch, just to give you an idea of what kind of job I have undertaken...

Now this pic was taken early in the construction phase, there are now steps up to the second level and it looks much prettier with all my antique chairs and flower pots...but it is 76' long and 8' wide and every single one of those deck boards on the floor needs at least 5 screws! So I am officially A STUD!!!!!!!!!!!

But my knees are blue, cause I screwed to much today, and unlike the girls in the redlight district I didn't make a dime! Ha! Oh, and I am tattooed...hence the title. I just thought it was funny. I wonder how many blog search hits I will get for fella's looking for dirty girls! LMAO!

Surprise Boys!! I'm long and strong and mean with a power drill! Don't mess with big mama...especially tonight cause she is sore and grouchy!!!

Wunderwear and Puppy Piddles

My 2 year old is showing some interest in potty training. He wants to wear "wunderwear" and is very excited to show off his training pants. However, he has yet to pee in the pot! We have been doing this every evening for about 2 weeks, he decides around supper time that he needs "wunderwear" so I always oblige. I remind him every 15 minutes or so that he needs to pee in the potty..."Oh Tay!" I will take him to the toilet and we stand there for a grand total of two seconds "All Done!" he proclaims...or better yet "I Tant!" (can't) we go through the motions of flushing the toilet, washing our hands and off to play. Then predictably about two minutes later I will hear "Uh Oh Mama!" and he will come running to me with soaked pants. Then the fun part starts. Finding out where the piddles have landed! It's like having a puppy in the house. I find myself crawling around on the carpet running my hand over it looking for wet spots. Ugggh! Thankfully last night almost all the puddles were on the linoleum and easily wiped up, but the last one was on the couch! AArrrrgggghhhh! I don't want to discourage him from his interest, but he really only has interest in wearing his big boy 'wunderwear'...he has yet to pee in the pot even once. I think tonight we will just put the underwear OVER the diaper! LOL!

My 4 year old wasn't nearly this hard to potty train, but he didn't really show much interest until he was 2 1/2 and once he decided to do it, he just did it. But my little guy wants to do everything big brother does...which is cute...but exhausting for the lady running around with the rags trying to find where the puppy made his latest deposit!

Monday, May 12, 2008

Has the Constitution just disappeared? FLDS update..

I am watching the FDLS parents finally speaking out to the media about the loss of their children on the today show. I am heartsick once again over this situation. Weren't we told that siblings would be kept together? That every effort would be made to be sure that these children weren't furthered traumatized by being separated from the only people left in their lives that share their common faith, lives and memories? Ummm apparently that was big talk for the media. Fodder to soothe the growing population of 'normal' Americans who are outraged by this event. The two couples on the show today have kids spread out over 900 miles. The mothers are allowed to visit 1 hour per week, and the fathers are not allowed any contact. So they drive for days to see their kids for an hour....then drive for days to see more of their kids. Even though the state has no proof against any of these individual fathers of any kind of misconduct or abuse.

One of the mothers stated that her 23 year old daughter is being held, along with her 2 year old daughter because CPS believes she is a minor. This woman has a driver's license and a birth certificate stating her age...CPS refuses to believe her. (I am aware that these could be forged, but would you go on national television and advertise a forged document when you know the media will investigate it?) She is one of their smoking guns. They believe her to be 16, which would put her at age 14 at the time of her daughter's birth. But if there is legal evidence that the woman is 23 freakin' years old what kind of beast are we dealing with here???? This is the most ridiculous and dangerous turn of events I have heard yet. If the American people allow this to continue, we are putting all American citizens at risk for civil rights violations at the whim of the government. What's next? Arresting all Muslim men for being potential terrorists? Arresting all Catholic priests for being potential pedophiles? Or better yet, sieze their families because we have no grounds to arrest them.... We need to think about the ramifications of all this. Just because we don't agree with their lifestyle does not give our government the right to march in and steal their children.

One father said this morning exactly what I have been saying all along. "This would be just like any average citizen living in a gated community having their children taken away from them because their neighbor abused his kids" (not the exact quote, I can't remember it verbatim)

My prayers are with those mothers right now. I would die without my children.

I have also recently read that the state has taken custody of an unborn FDLS woman who is pregnant has already lost custody of her child before she has even given is this happening? I understand that there may be abuse occuring in some of these families or households, I do get it, but what I don't get is how we can take an entire popluation of children away from their parents based on a single false phone call. I look at it this way, I run a home day care. What if one of my parents got pissed off at me and called DCFS (Illinois's version of CPS) and claimed I hurt my children. Would they just march in here, remove my kids and take them 900 miles away? NO THEY WOULD NOT! They would investigate. They would go through proper channels to be sure that my kids were safe and that my husband and I were stable and loving parents. At worst they would remove the abuser from the home. They would go to every effort to keep the children and the family unit together until it was proved to be an unsafe situation. Why were these people not granted those same services? If CPS is supposed to be looking out for the family as well as the children, why have they destroyed so many families, and frankly destroyed the futures of these children. Many of them will never recover from this trauma.

Just my humble opinion....

I am glad the FDLS community is finally speaking out. All of us should have the right to live in private if we so is supposed to be one of our rights granted by the Constitution, but these people have been forced to go public. The fact that they are willing do so proves their dedication to their children.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Happy Mothers Day....For me, but not for all

My Mother's Day started out in a frantic rush to get everyone ready for church after Daddy (bless his heart) informed me he had not given the boys a bath last night (I was working at the tavern). Well Mommy (bless my heart) had not given the a bath the night before...soo eeeeeeewwww....I figured they needed a good scrub before church. So between baths and ironing everyone's clothes and getting everyone dressed, mommy had about 2.5 minutes to fix her hair and put some make-up on and get out the door. Oh I got dressed naked church lady here...

But all in all it was a great day. We had the family here for lunch, but we ordered a meal instead of cooking, which was nice. And Daddy took me out for a nice supper tonight at a great new restaurant, it was Italian, and I had a nice glass of wine (that might as well been half the bottle....I've never been served wine in a glass that big!) and a stuffed shrimp supper and it was heavenly! Of course we had to go grocery shopping too, not so heavenly, but necessary. And at least I got to grocery shop without the kids! Yay! It was a wonderful evening except for one thing....

While we were pumping gas a car pulled up to a screeching halt in front of the building and I could see a that the driver, a man was extremely agitated and was yelling at his passenger. His arms were flailing and his head was bobbing and it was clear they were having a very heated argument, when suddenly he reached over and PUNCHED her! I was in such shock I couldn't even respond! As soon as he had done it he sped out of the parking lot leaving black marks on the pavement....I caught a glimpse of her face and there was no sobbing, no tears that I could see, just a defeated look. A look that said she was quite used to this. And then it got worse....I saw a child in the backseat. He appeared to be around 7 or so....I wanted to vomit....I was in such shock I did not think to get a license plate # and it bothered me so badly that I thought I was going to have to get out of the car to vomit. Who lives like that? Who treats someone like that? I come from some pretty rough stock, heavy drinkers, adulterers, even deadbeat dads...but I don't know that I can honestly say I have ever witnessed a man raise his hand to a woman....only on TV.

My prayers are with that woman tonight, whoever she is. And I pray for forgiveness for not responding. I wish I could rewind it all and get a license plate #. My husband was irate and we considered calling 911 anyway, but what would we say...a white car, three passengers...that was all the info we had. I didn't even know the make of the car. I am still sick over it. I just can't believe I actually saw it happen. And the look on that woman's face...the lack of emotion...just breaks my heart. You can bet your sweet ass if a man raised his fist to me he'd be bloody as hell and begging for mercy! Maybe that's why there are no wife beaters in my family...all the women are tough as nails with big mouths and enough heft to back it up!

I was also mindful today of my own mother, who is no longer living, and all the other women who are missing their mothers or daughters today. Until I had children, this was one of the gloomiest days of the year for me. Thankfully I have two bright rays of sunshine that have long ago chased those gloomy clouds away. I am blessed. Very Blessed Indeed.

Friday, May 9, 2008

Overstimulated.....and can't stop talking to myself!

Well I just can't seem to stop blogging this afternoon, but the kids are snoozing and my house is clean and I really just have nothing better to do at the moment than sit here and talk to myself...I keep coming up with something else I want to say. You know, like those people you can never get off the phone..."I really gotta run now, " "ok, Oh wait, one more thing..." and the conversation lasts another 20 minutes. Yeah...that's me! LOL!

So the stimulus money-it has arrived....and it has departed! All in one day! Leave it to white trash America to spend it in less than 6 hours! Ha! Actually I had devised a very stout plan several weeks ago. We paid off debt and each got some to splurge with. I, of course, am already feeling guilty about my splurge. I bought some desperately needed clothes. I have one pair of shorts...literally one pair that is fit to wear in public, and even it has a few stains if you look closely (which I would promptly backhand you for! ;0) I have scuttled through the last few summers with old maternity shorts and a few capri jeans. Now put this into perspective though....I never go anywhere. I run a home day care through the week, I waitress in a tavern on the weekends (which would ruin good clothes in a hurry) and I am a bank teller on Saturday mornings, where I wear jeans. My need for nice clothes is very limited. But the desire is always there! I am for the most part a tomboy...but I am still a girl!

So I shopped online at Old Navy and Lane Bryant, which is better than my usual Wal-Mart clothes browsing. I was looking to get the most bang for my buck with clothes that wouldn't fall apart in 6 months (like my Wal-Mart ones...) I can't even remember the last time I bought myself clothes! Good Lord it's been ages! But I did. A lot of them.....and now I feel guilty! The Mommy Guilt is kicking my ass. I could have put it in their college funds, I could have saved to spend on our vacation to make it extra memorable...blah blah blah....

Why does motherhood come with so many sticky strings attached? And I have a feeling it never goes away. Even when they are grown.

So I guess I did my part to stimulate the economy! I have a feeling this plan is nothing more than a band-aid on a slashed artery, but hey, no self respecting redneck trailer trash girl like me is gonna turn her back on free money! Even if we do find out it's not so free after all....

P.S. Hubby upgraded to a nice gas grill for his splurge...we 'R' rednecks after all! LOL! He is frothing at the mouth to put it together....

I stand corrected...

I wrongly assumed in a previous rant that Myanmar had very little to offer as far as natural resources. Upon futher research while I am kiling time during naps, I have discovered that they are actually quite rich in natural resources. I felt I should clarify my previous statement.

It doesn't change how I feel about the lack of compassion for global citizens, but it does debunk my original theory for why the U.S. picks and chooses so discriminately the countries they are going to 'get involved' with....


So they will accept our aid in the form of cash and supplies....we (the world) sent planes on Thursday, enough food to feed 95,000 people, and supposedly the Myanmar millitary has seized the planes?

WTF? Perhaps the death of these impoverished people is of some benefit to this government. Population Control? Human Rights Ransom? I am just there no humanity in these peoples hearts at all? the name of what?

Somebody...I'm not naming any names ***coughhillarycough* needs to suck it up and give up already!! This is driving me nuts! We are wasting valuable time watching this slug fest. You are defeated....go back home.

I just had to throw that in this morning, but what I really wanted to blog about was the tragedy in Myanmar. I have meant to blog about it for days but like a true American I have been too wrapped up in my own life to bother...did I just say that out loud? (pardon me, I have a bit of PMS...:0)

Can you imagine being a citizen of this destroyed country, surrounded by death and destruction, perhaps even dying yourself because of the water borne diseases and infections, knowing that nobody is coming to help you? And I wonder if these people know that there are so many people around the globe just waiting to step foot into their country to help? There are people that could arrive within minutes by choppers if only their government would allow it. There are thousands of aid workers in the neighboring countries just waiting for word that they can enter....but this military dictatorship turns a blind eye. They will allow foreign aid but not workers....this makes no sense to me. How do they intend to deal with all the destruction, all the illness, all the corpses? How are they going to put these relief items to use without the hands to distribute them? Who will feed the hungry mouths and soothe the wounds?

I hate to sound unpatriotic, but I usually do anyway, so here goes. Perhaps we need to look at ourselves and our government for a moment to examine why this crisis has occurred. The fault does not lie with the citizens of Myanmar, they don't have the option to vote for their leaders and the opportunity to push for change. However we as Americans do. This crisis is rooted in the long standing disdain for the American government, who tends to stomp all over the little man (countries such as Myanmar)- refusing to consider humanitarian efforts and good political relations. In my humble opinion, our government ignores these countries (until there is a major crisis) because they have no natural resources that are of value to us. They have no significant financial contribution to make. So unless they are suffering on a grand global scale, we turn our backs on them. The citizens don't trust us. Their government doesn't trust us because we have a long history of forcing our democratic ideals on such countries and using lethal force to do so. (example - Iraq) Now I know there are going to be people who want to argue that point with me, and I have so much more to say about that than that one simple statement, but this blog will get to be 20 pages long if I do. I am trying to stick to topic. The simple fact is their government hates us and their people don't trust us....not just Americans-but we are top on their list of loathing.

So are we not in some way to blame? Not that I am expecting Americans to be sitting at home wrecked with guilt, I am just saying that we are the Land of the Free right? We have the right to choose our leaders and demand that they follow through on their promises and listen to the will of the people. It's time the people made sure our government was looking out for more than just their financial interests. In my opinion it's time our government stopped restricting the resources we have, technology, education, industry and aid - limiting them to only countries we see of value to us. It's time we looked at the people of the world as a common brotherhood and raised our children to carry these values so that humans of all countries could count on each other and work together to stop starving, raping, waring, dying and injustice throughout the globe. Maybe it's an impossible dream....but it's mine. And I don't think it's impossible.

Back to the lady who will remain unnamed and the government of definition of pride is the refusal to be humiliated. It's time to set aside your pride. NOW!

Thursday, May 8, 2008

For Shannon

My blogging buddy Shannon over at has recently been posting about a dear friend whose life has been wrecked by several tragedies all at one time, including the death of his son this week. They fear this man may be contemplating suicide. This led her to discuss the suicides of other loved ones or acquaintences in her life. She opened a discussion about the questions these events raise. Since my comment on her blog would take up an entire page I decided to blog this. Here is a portion of her post

I would never judge someone who took their own life, to them I'm sure there was no other alternative. I just wish that they could see the beauty in life and find their self-worth and place in this world. Depression has got to be the worst disease to have. I say this because I watch people who are truly depressed for periods of time and it saddens me the way they seal themselves off from the world around them. I wonder why they do that? Is it because they don't want anyone to know what they are truly feeling? They just can't face a smiling face? They have no hope for a better day? I just pray that I never have to experience these feelings. We all have problems, but for me they are just challenges to overcome, obstacles to bypass, experiences to learn from. What is your take on suicide? Do you know anyone who has taken their own life? Were there any signs? What were they? Sorry that I am stuck on this issue right now, I'm just looking for ways to be there for someone who really needs it right now.

Personally I have dealt with the illness side of suicide. My mother suffered from schizoaffective disorder and in the last 5 years of her life it literally sucked the will to live from her. She spoke about, fantasized about and often threatened suicide, she may have even attempted but I am not 100% sure. It took me a lot of years to understand that this was beyond her control. By the Grace of God she died suddenly of a pulmonary embolism, which I strongly feel was the hand of God taking her home to give her peace. She suffered serious delusions about life by the time she died and it was impossible to reason with her. In fact when I got the call that she was dead, my first question as I dropped to my knees was "How did she do it?".....

I also have some friends who lost their 17 year old son to suicide almost 2 years ago. It was a horrible shock to all of those who knew him. He was a fun loving kid who had a bright future. But, according to his dad, his note listed very rational reasons for wanting to give it up. It is very strange to think that someone could even come to such a conclusion at such a young age. And it leaves a wake of sadness, bitterness and anger behind that washes over families like a tidal wave. From all observations, this boy was not mentally ill in any way. It was just the path he chose. How tragic, and impossible for anyone to understand.

As for myself I have suffered from depression most of my life, dealt with abuse and a difficult childhood, and watched the demise of my mother as a teenager and young adult. Yet I have never once thought of giving up. I will fight for my life and my sanity to the very end. And even though I admittedly suffer from clinical depression, I have always been mindful of the future. There will always be another day, another chance to feel better, or make it better. Mental illness is such a strange beast, and it is sad how it devours some people and yet other people it only pushes us far enough to find very little joy in life sometimes-but never to the point of giving up. But you did ask why people with depression seal themselves off from people....for me personally, I just can't muster the energy to make converstation, to smile, to pretend everything is ok, when I am having an episode. And there are very very few people in my life that are close enough to me that I will even be around at those times...because I know, with them, I can sit and say nothing and be swallowed up in my dark little world, and they will not try to 'perk me up' or 'fix it'. There is no quick fix. When it's there it's there...I have no control or warning (although hormones play a part) and when it's gone, life is good and I am my usual happy perky smartassy self. However, without medication my dark times far outweigh my good ones. I am resigned to the fact that I will probably be medicated all my life. And I am ok with that. Considering my family medical history and my past experiences, I would say if I'm only a little bit nuts, I'm doin' OK!!!

Suicide is such a selfish act. It leaves loved ones left with so many questions, so much guilt and so much anger. And yet, I know from my own experience with my mother, that for some it is completely beyond their control. The thought of dying ate away inside her brain for so long it almost became a waiting game. I was not surprised to get the call she had died...I was only surprised it was of natural causes. And despite my attempts to get her help over and over again, all the admissions to hospitals and begging and pleading and tough love...I could never save her from herself and her thoughts. To this day I am angry that she had to go through that, I am angry that I had to go through that...but I cannot imagine the anger I would feel had she succeeded in her quest. Thankfully God spared us all from that.

Shannon I am praying for your friends tonight. No human should have to suffer so much. And I know you and Mike feel helpless right now. There isn't much you can do and nothing you will ever be able to say...but being there, a steady presence, never letting them forget that they are loved and that you are there for them is the best support you can lend right now I think.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Yes Ma'am I am!

I posted recently about the 'coffee cup incident' that confirmed I 'R' indeed a redneck....But tonight I just happened to catch the 20 Greatest Redneck Moments on CMT and nearly died from laughter and embarrassment as I realized just how much of a hillbilly I really am. And it occurs to me that there are people living in L.A. and New York City and other metropolises around the world that have truly never met one of us!! LOL! So let me introduce myself to you as I compare some of these redneck moments....(Good Lord some of ya'll will never read my blog again after this!) to my life.

The first that got me was about George Jones riding his lawn mower to town to get booze because his wife hid the car keys. True Story. This is also true, my 71 year old father does not have a driver's license due to several...several, DUI's in his lifetime (a practice I do NOT condone!) The man is a mess, frankly, but he's still my Dad ~ we all have someone like this in the family...mine just happens to be Daddy. So anyhoo, he has a very old (70's) John Deere lawn mower that he rides 'uptown' (3 blocks) to get to the bar. He suffers from COPD and walking this distance, which is mostly uphill is impossible for him. But the stubborn old coot still finds a way to get to the bar. He does it several times a week. One Sunday morning he called me raisin' 9 kinds of hell because "somebody stole ma God Damn lawn mower!!!" I remember thinking to myself well the joke is on them, who would want that hunk of junk? A few days later he mentioned mowing his lawn and I asked him when he got it back....He hem hawed around for a while before he finally admitted he had been drunk and forgotten where he parked it. He had even gone to the police station to report it stolen that night!! Thankfully he lives in a one cop town (picture Mayberry - he is Otis...) and they just gave him a ride home and told him to settle down....Good Lord....I have passed this DNA on to my children...scary thought!

Then they talked about the song "Redneck Woman" by Gretchen Wilson....and I gotta say, while I prefer old country to the new pop sounds, she hit the nail on the head with that one. I have lived in a mobile home a good part of my life, I drink cheap beer, I buy my lingerie at Wal-Mart, we've left our Christmas lights on all year before, you will find me everyday standing outside in my front yard, barefooted with a toddler on my hip, and I don't give a shit what you think about it. It's who I am...pure and simple. You could pull in my driveway right now, find me sitting here at my desk in my 'granny gown' with hair I haven't fixed all day long, no make-up (I haven't worn make-up since I went to church on Sunday) and my bare feet...I'd offer you a beer and chair.... As the song says, "I ain't no high class broad, I'm just a product of my raisin'..."

And speaking of mobile homes....the invention of the double wide was on the list. Technically I live in one! Yes my dream home, that I am so proud of and have busted my ass landscaping and decorating this a manufactured home. All four bedrooms, 2400sq ft, dream kitchen and all.... It came in on wheels...and I have it all on video tape! They had so much trouble getting it up here on the hill that my husband had to pull out the John Deere 4020 and pull part of it himself! Yeee Haw!! I am not ashamed of that. I have made a damn better life for my kids than I had and that's all that matters. The walls you surround yourself mean nothing compared to the love you surround yourself with. And I think that is at the heart of every true country girl.

They mentioned the Dollar Store on this list too...which kind of cracked me up because I don't shop in there much. Most of it is junk, the toys are all made in China and full of lead paint etc...but you can get great deal on some things here and there. But it got me thinking of my insane ability to stretch a dollar. When in comes to cooking....I can make a $5 meal last for days!! Today I made chicken and noodles. My noodles were homemade, so they cost next to nothing, my chicken was $4 and I only used the dark meat and the back and wings. I saved the breasts and chunked them up for a casserole later. My corn and green beans came from the freezer via last years cost (unless you count the buckets of sweat I produce cutting off corn each year), and we had mashed potatoes as well. This meal probably cost $5 maybe $6 fed us tonight, it will feed me, my kids and day care kids for lunch, supper tomorrow night and any leftovers will be frozen to eat later or eaten this weekend as we come and go....that's a hell of a lot of food for $6. Can you even by a burger anymore for $6?? I have found that I am anal about 'making do' in the kitchen. It is the one area of the budget that I know I have a knack for pinching so I try to do my best. All the while remembering that my Grandma had to do that same thing to feed 9 kids in her lifetime.......I was thinking that as I looked at my chicken and noodles her house, that would have barely been enough to feed all those boys! Good Lord!

But the best on this list, by far is Faith Hill jumpin' all over the lady who grabbed her hubby, Tim McGraw's crotch! That is totally something I would do!! OMG! When that happened I remember telling my husband 'well HELL YEAH! I'd do the same thing!' It's one thing to be checking out my can even ask for his number, I'm confident in my relationship....look all you want, he's quite the hottie really...but keep your damn hands OFF!!! You'll see a sweet little country girl get mean in a hurry! LOL!!

God I really am a Redneck!! LMAO! I get it honest though. You should see some of my kin from down south. My family came from the hills of Kentucky, poor dirt farmers who feared God and loved moonshine. Now when my redneck father makes the comment that the living remnants of this family tree are 'weird' you know they must be off the charts...cause it doesn't get much weirder than my guitar playin, lawn mower riding, whiskey lovin' least now his only accidents might be with a stray cat on the sidewalk in the middle of the night....

P.S. I was thinking this as I was proof reading...there are some ways that I am very anti-redneck as well. Much of my generation no longer carries the racial prejudice that our parents did, and still do. Not that there aren't some ignorant loud mouths around, but I for one will never tell a racist joke or consider a person of color any less worthy than me. Nor do I feel gay bashing is appropriate, which seems to be more common among the rednecks here in the Bible Belt...this to me seems to be the ultimate contradiction of being Christian. But I suppose I am of the 'hippie' variety of my class in society. My kids may grow up rednecks, but they will never be hate mongers, no matter what the Bible Thumpers have to say about it...

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Scenes from Spring on the Farm

There are going to be some new additions to the farm soon! And NO I am not poppin' out any babies anytime soon...LOL! We found this yesterday...

Nestled in our little baby crab apple tree is a robin's nest. The mama bird is perched in there almost all the time, she even lets us get pretty close, but if we touch the leaves she flies away. She doesn't go far though because I have noticed her sneak right back in if we take very many steps away. I hope that the babies survive, my kids and day care kids are very excited about this little discovery! The tree is only a bit taller than me, and is small enough that I can pick them up and let them peek inside. Here is there home, right next to our newly planted vegetable garden.

In addition to the Robin eggs, we found "Franklin" today

I don't have the heart to keep him very long, a box is no home for a box turtle (no pun intended! LOL!) but for the kids sake he is 'spending the night'. We gave him a carrot and some water, but so far all he wants to do is cover himself with the grass we tossed in and sleep.

I blogged recently about a calf, "Willy", that I wanted to get a picture of....I have had no luck! The only shot I got was a picture of his Mama...and she was not happy about me stalking her baby boy. I suppose I would be sporting a similar glare should some crazy lady come sneaking around my child with a camera!

And I usually refrain from posting pictures of my kids online (because I am a paranoid freak! LOL) But I could not resist posting these of the first crop of sweet corn going into the garden.

My 2 year old was busy eating rocks...but my 4 year old was very interested in helping to plant the garden this year. Let's hope he gets better at eating his vegetables!!!

Oh and just a few more pics....these are new additions to my 'landscape' (if that's what you want to call it) I just thought somebody might think they were cute...One Man's Trash is Another Man's Treasure!

Thank God I'm A Country Girl!

Friday, May 2, 2008

I feel the Earth move under my feet...I feel the sky tumbling down...tumbling down....

Apparently we are the new hot spot for seismologists and geologist and all those other ologists...we keep having earthquakes. Most of them we have not felt, but apparently the other night we had another larger one in the middle of the night. I think we are going on about #20 now. Most of them are mild but some of them are getting into the 4.0+ range. It's freakin' me out a little bit!

I always assumed it would be the people in California who ended up dropping off into the ocean, but if this keeps up I wonder if Southern Illinois won't just fold in between the Mississippi and Wabash River! Damn! They used to say that the New Madrid Fault which is down in the Southern Missouri/Northern Arkansas posed the greatest threat for disaster. However since all these current quakes keep happening on the Wabash Fault, some scientists are changing their minds. I read one newspaper article from St. Louis that stated the Wabash Fault might pose a greater threat to the city than the New Madrid. Now let me put this in perspective for you as far as how this concerns me! I live 2 1/2 hours EAST of St. Louis. I live 30 minutes west of the Wabash River and 30 minutes north west of the epicenter of these recent quakes. So if they think this thing is going to cause MAJOR damage to the city of St. Louis- 200 miles away, imagine what it's going to do to my little farm-30 miles away!!! Holy Christ Almighty!! That makes me a wee bit nervous!!!!

In a related development, we have notice the cattle acting strangely at times lately. I can't help but wonder if it's not related to the earth rumbling. I am sure they sense these things far better than we can.

This morning all the calves are laying together in the pen all snuggled up. If they are still there when we go outside to play I will try to snap some pics, and maybe finally get a picture of cute Willy! That is if the storms don't hit before we finish breakfast. There are severe storms on the least those are the kinds of natural disasters we are used to! I never thought I'd see the day when an earthquake worried me more than a tornado.......

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Big Pimpin'...WARNING~ foul language, explicit content!

So the D.C. Madam is dead....who smells another Marylin?! She's had a lot of government paunch in her to speak...and you can't help but wonder why a hustler extroidinaire like her would throw in the towel! I mean once a hustler always a hustler right? Speaking as someone who is midly adept at the art of hustling, doing what needs to be done to survive. Not that I had ever resorted to prostitution, but so what if I had? Some people do what they have to do to stay alive...and I am a surviver. SO WAS SHE!! I just know it my bones that woman was murdered to shut her the F-UP! As a fellow survivor - there's nothing in this world that would get me under the ground until the day God tells me to "shut the hell up and come get your wings already, ya loudmouth!" I always have a plan, I can always figure a way out of whatever pickle I am in, and I can always see the light at the end of the tunnel.

And she wasn't just any kind of Madam....Oh No, she catered to the Kings of the hill, the suits, the lawmakers, the ones condemning the little people for our filthy little crimes and afterwards are porkin' Mustang Sally in the Penthouse at the Ritz for $5000 an hour. Why the hell aren't any of them being prosecuted? Why is it only a crime to be a prostitute and not fuck one? If I wanted to go out and shake my money maker (all $20 worth of it ;0) why isn't that my right to do so? It's my body, it's my time, and believe you me these girls don't have to force themselves on anyone. You lay your shit out on the table somebody's gonna come along and lap it up! But who does the time if you get caught?! The girls do! How fucked up is that? She's not the one spending corporate money to get a blow-job! It's not her idea to rack up the credit account at the office with Cristal and cocaine and fuck herself silly for 5 hours....oh no....that's the man with the wiener!! She's just the area of deposit for the wiener juice! She names her price, he makes the juice.

And yes yes, it is a scourge on society, it breaks up families...blah blah blah. The guys who are fucking these girls are gonna find somebody to fuck whether they have to pay for it or not. It's not as if prostitutes are these mythic sirens, luring our honest and decent men into perversion....if they are hookin' up with a prostitute, they already got the pervert fever baby! And so what! I mean I sure as hell wouldn't want my husband doing it, I am not saying that. But the men that are doing this....are doing it anyway. Chances are if you find out your husband has been porkin' a hooker...he's been porkin' everything he could get his hands on...he just decided to get smart and find a no strings attached 'juice deposit machine'.

Ok that is entirely too gross LMAO, but I just couldn't resist. To me, in my mind it's like some kind of cartoon image. Juice Man 5000 ~ New and Improved!!

So back to the Madam, you can't tell me she just threw in the towel. Maybe, but I have serious doubts. And I bet this will get swept under the rug very rapidly thanks to our government controlled media. The FBI was all over this like stink on shit! They are handling it. Sure they are.......

In my very own, liberal, live and let live, redneck hippie, opinion, this woman didn't do anything wrong except run with the Big Dogs!! She should have stayed out of the beds of Capital Hill and it would have been smooth sailing....all the way to bank!

My apologies to my more classy (ie less redneck, foul mouth and shoot from the hip opinions-like me) readers. But I'm just callin' it like I see it ya'll!