Monday, May 19, 2008

Making Waves

Still feeling blue today about the state of my relationship. So many of my friends who have older kids have told us that this is the most difficult stage in the marriage ~ raising toddlers. We try to be mindful of that and openly discuss it. But sometimes it's still hard.....But both of us are very aware of the fact that someday it will just be he and I alone in this big ole house and if we have become strangers, forever is gonna be a long long time.

I just wish I knew how to reconnect with things get like this. Sometimes I just don't have the energy to try, and I can tell he doesn't either. Usually these episodes resolve themselves, as I am sure this one will...but the rough seas of the journey to the resolution are making me sea sick! We had a heart to heart last night, but it really resolved nothing. Sometimes it's like the solutions are right in front of us, but we don't have the energy to reach for them. And sometimes I think it is just the nature of a man to be completely clueless about what a woman needs....and it's is just the nature of a woman to be unable to ask....Somehow having to ask feels like a defeat. I want him to just know.


Liz said...

Have you thought about getting help? An impartial 3rd party (counceler) could help you two. I really apprecaited another person validating my concerns with my husband. Plus I think I took his concerns more seriously when the councelor was saying they were legitimate. Just a thought... Think of it as a life jacket to help you through the rough seas.

The Pastoral Princess said...

Yes I have considered it....However I fear bringing up the subject to him would scare the tar out of him! I think he would see that as a sign that we are failing. Unfortunately counseling seems to be the 'last resort' in our community. And I don't think he honestly knows that I feel so blue about things...he doesn't ask, I don't tell. Kind of like the military. Which is stupid I know...