Thursday, May 15, 2008

Gay thoughts

I realize this post my offend some of my readers and perhaps even cost me a few. But since I am never one to shy away from voicing my opinion, I feel I must relay my elation regarding the overturning of the Gay Marriage Ban in California! Yay! First of all let me state, I am a Christian, and I realize that traditionally my religion denounces homosexuality. However, while I am deeply spiritual, and very active in my church, I don't feel that I am particularly religious. I think I have blogged about this before. Or maybe that was my MySpace blog...but anyhoo, anyone who knows me pretty much knows I am extremely liberal on these matters. And while I don't intend to sway the opinions of anyone else, no one will sway me either. Let me tell you why.

When I was a little girl, my best friend, we'll call her Suzy, was different than me. While my walls were plastered with posters of Corey Haim and New Kids on the Block, hers were bare. While I spent countless hours preparing myself for my first kiss, practicing on my pillow, my hand, my dolls...and a lot of those posters...she just laughed at me. I was boy crazy for as long as I can remember. My very first boyfriend was in Kindergarten and we were gonna get married and live happily ever after...which lasted for about a month, until I moved to a different town. (Last I heard my first love was in prison these days...nice...I went for the bad boys from the start!) I was always in love with someone! Often more than one at a time! Boys, boys, boys. But not Suzy!

I don't remember when I first learned what the definition of 'gay' was...but I do know that I always knew Suzy was gay. Until 7th grade she never ever spoke of it, but I was her best friend, I knew. I vividly remember the day, one summer, we were sitting outside of our school, we had been playing in the empty parking lot, and she said "Would you still be my friend if I thought I might be gay?" And I can remember stating matter of factly that "I already knew that". She looked at me with such surprise! "YOU DID?" Well of course I did. Perhaps I knew it before she did. And in fact I knew that she was in love with our P.E. teacher, long before she professed it to me. I caught the long stares and giddy excitement when she was around this woman. She had a crush, the same as I had a crush on Scott, Ryan, Eric and Jeremy (all at the same time of course!).

Nobody will ever convince me that this child 'chose' to be gay. Nobody can ever make me believe that this little girl 'chose' a 'deviant' lifestyle....She was born this way. The same way I was born a "Hot Lips Houlihan"...

Now Suzy comes from a Baptist background, her father was even a Baptist minister for a time, although not often in the picture. So Suzy has dealt with deep rooted guilt and shame all of her life, feeling that she was somehow evil and destined for hell. She has gone through more than one period of her life where she has vowed to 'live straight'. However, as a witness to most of these periods, this is Suzy at her darkest, most depressed self. Trying to 'live straight' has nearly killed her a time or two. This is not who she is. And it never will be.

Today Suzy has a wonderful life, far more exciting than mine, in the big city! She has a wonderful companion, a drop dead gorgeous blonde that I am sure most guys would kill for! LOL! And she is happy. She is living the life she was destined to live. I firmly believe this. And as far as my own religious beliefs on this matter, that is an entirely different blog. But my motto is, live as Christ lived. I never saw Christ screaming at, spitting on, or beating a homosexual. I never heard Christ say that love, in any form, is evil. To me, Love is Love. And we should Live and Let Live. And I pray for the day when Suzy can live as a married woman, the same as me, with same benifits and recognition as me.

P.S. I love you 'Suzy!'


Shannon said...

So you were always a hot lips Houlihan, too? I knew I liked you ever since reading your blog for the first time. We have a lot in common, besides music, of course. Anyway, I agree with you. I've said so many times that it is not my place to judge anyone's choices or lifestyles. I really think it makes a difference for people who have someone close to them who chooses a different lifestyle and they realize that if you really love that person, you love them no matter what and it doesn't change who they are. And once again, we all know what people have done "in the name of religion" and MY GOD wouldn't condone many of those behaviors.

Shannon said...

O ya, thanks for the Bob Dylan song, "Blowin in the Wind"! One of my ALL-TIME FAVS!!!!

Liz said...

I wish states would get out of the marriage business all together and leave "marriages" to the churches. States could grant "civil unions" (or whatever they want to call them) to people - straight and gay. I think a lot of people have a problem with gay marriage because of the marriage part of it. I think gays should have the same rights as everyone else under the law when it comes to property and inheritance. A civil union would protect those rights while not ruffling any feathers by calling it a "marriage." I don't know... just a thought.