Sunday, March 30, 2008

Mysterious Matron Martyrs

I am grouchy today! My hubby is having a very difficult weekend emotionally, and I feel sorry for his frustration. It is work related, and he takes things very personally. He is a sensitive sort. And he wears his heart on is sleeve in the presence of trusted loved he is a lump in the recliner this morning. And frankly that is not any different than most other Sundays, but since I am once again not feeling the best, it is pissing me off! I woke up to a disaster of a house after having the luxury of sleeping until know that good feeling you have when you have slept late. You feel a bit like pampered royalty (especially when you are used to rising at the crack of dawn with hungry cranky toddlers) arise feeling refreshed, alive, and just plain yummy...and then I walked into the kitchen! Holy Fuck! God love him, my poor grouchy husband informs me that he has been up since 5:30 a.m. because he couldn't sleep. And I am such a bitch that my first thought is "If you have been up that long, why the hell didn't you DO SOMETHING around here!!" Of course I did NOT say this! A good wife knows to keep most of her nasty thoughts to herself. I gave him a hug and told him I was sorry he had a rough night.

So I proceed to make pancakes for breakfast. We have a lovely family meal (minus my plate...I have no appetite this morning) After everyone finishes...back to the recliner he not only am I left with the mess BEFORE I started cooking, I am now left with the mess I had AFTER I cooked. So I clean clean clean, and yes I realize I am playing the role of the martyr's the dance we dance quite often. I am too independent to ask for help...and he is sure not gonna do anything unless he is asked. I am not his mother I shouldn't have to ASK...or that is my standard line anyway. And since I am still feeling somewhat poorly, with increased cramping after my clean fest, now I am more pissed than ever!!

Funny thing is I am painfully aware of how immature I am being about this. I could have just done the dishes and left everything else. But no, I swept the floor, wiped down chairs and bar stools, scrubbed counters, scrubbed the stove top....and now I am cramping pretty badly. Now wasn't that just stupid?! I did it out of spite...all the while screaming at him in my mind for not helping me....yet I didn't ask for help...and I went far beyond what was necessary in the way of my 'chores'.

Why are women so complicated? Sometimes I can see us from a man's point of view....and I pity them. We must be impossible to understand. Although, since his lazy butt is still in the recliner while I have typed this with two toddlers crawling all over me, fetched two snacks, a glass of apple juice, another glass of apple juice cause that was not the right cup, changed a diaper and shut down two rounds of WWE on the floor....I don't pity him TOO MUCH! LOL!


Shannon said...

Sometimes I do the exact same thing! Just easier that way, I guess. After 10 years of blissful marriage and just doing things, I have finally had enough and ask for help - quite often! Sometimes it causes a little tif, but usually it makes us both happier. My husband has always told me that I should ask for his help and that he doesn't see the world the same way I do. I'm a bit of a neat freak and he - well he - is just not. It's none of my business, but try asking, especially if your health is in danger. You will be a happier person - I promise - I know - I think I'm a lot like you a lot of the time!