Finally a Normal, Insanely Odd Blog

So is anyone else around here sick and tired of reading about me being sick and tired?

I am feeling pretty good today and trying to get things back to normal around here. I've cleaned house today and have generally felt normal. I have the house to myself for a few hours so I have been surfing for music online and came across an old song that I used to love. It's a Marilyn Manson song. And I thought what a perfect thing to blog about! LOL! It's time to start writing about all the crazy shit I usually write about. And hey, we've been teetering on the edge of insanity all week...who better to talk about than the big, bad, scary, and insane devil boy, Marilyn Manson?

Yeah, I am a fan. Shocked? Ok yeah, at this point not much would shock you about me right? Well let me tell you why I am a fan. Because he is honest. You don't have to like it, agree with it, or even be able to stomach it...but let me tell you, he is the voice of an entire community of young people in this country. People like me who grew up surrounded by nightmares, poor, independent punks, the quiet intellectual ones and even the pretty young things on the soccer team living in the perfect suburban neighborhoods. He writes about the raw, gutting emotions of adolescence. The pain and doubts in your mind as you struggle with your screwed up life, wondering if you will ever escape. Those who are silently suffering from depression or other mental illness. Those of us with parents who weren't there, or incapable of parenting. Those of us with parents who tried to be the perfect parent or even just wanted to appear to be the perfect parents, but never once listened to angst in our hearts....So many kids grow up without any guidance at the crucial age of adolescence. I did. It created some pretty screwed up thoughts and doubts in my life as a teen. When I was 17 or 18, along came this artist who was just shockingly brutal, blasphemous, scary and controversial....I loved it! (of course) The Alice Cooper of my generation!

Now my hick town is full of metal heads and rock and roll lover's...but this dude was NOT creating fans among the coutry boy metal heads I grew up with. He was a little too poetic and cryptic for them....they needed sex, drugs, and rock n' roll. I hid my Manson fetish and spent many nights listening all alone to this voice who spewed his hatred for society and organized religion in that seductively evil voice. Now let me be clear, I didn't always approve of or agree with the things Mr. Manson has proclaimed in his music or elsewhere....but I loved the fact that he had the balls to say it. Kind of like my love for Larry Flynt, he is one sick f'ker, but damn it I like him! I have the same love for Ted Nugent - who I disagree with on almost every political issue LOL! They just say what they're gonna say and don't give a shit what you have to say about it!

So anyway, back to my rebelious teenage angst...I fell in love with Manson's first album called Portrait of an American Family It represented the inner turmoil of every American child growing up in homes where they were abused, molested, neglected and ignored. The kids who were being bullyed in school and in society. The kids disillusioned with religion as the reality of adult hypocrasy started crashing down on them. Those kids who were outcasts. Then Anti Christ Superstar came out...boy did that cause some controversy! Of course, I loved it!

His lyrics aren't for the faint of heart...some of them are down right sick...but they ring true in the ears of the angry teen. They are empowering and you feel less alone as you realize that somebody gets it. Somebody gets it. Now that statement isn't going to make sense to those of you who enjoyed a beautiful childhood, and God Bless you. And I need to add mine was not all bad I have very fond memories of things in my childhood...but there are nightmares that overpower those memories more often than not. And I became one of these angry, confused teens....Marilyn Manson was my Jim Morrison....

He was my first ever rock concert. It was awesome. There were churches protesting outside the arena, it was insane. At the time I was in a very vacant place regarding my faith and what I believed. I grew up in a fanatically religious home, but of course I was never one who accepted the spoon fed doctrine, I asked too many questions and did too much of my own research (why believe something if you don't really know why), I questioned sacred scripture *gasp*. I was considered rebellious and blasphemous! Having a mother who was mentally unstable didn't help this matter at all of course. I didn't know what I believed anymore...

Ok, so back to the concert...the big stink about this show was that Manson had been ripping up a Bible during part of his performance. That doesn't go over too well in the Bible Belt. There were TV news crews everywhere! I had skipped class to go and I was just sure my English professor was going to see me on TV and would know I lied about a family emergency! (I know..that was just plain bad...) So I snuck in a side entrance...

The show was amazing, the energy was wild, the theatrics were more than Alice Cooper could have ever imagined and the crowd loved it! Yes, he tore up the Bible. Did I cry about it? No. Would I cry about it today if I saw it? No. At that time, and even now, I celebrate that fact that we are allowed such freedom of expression in our country. The fact that he could display his contempt for organized religion and it's man made rules, or that a citizen can burn his flag in protest of the horrible decisions our government has made at times....these are true freedoms. And feeling free enough to do them, with little care or thought of the opinion of others is an awesome thing to me. Maybe I am weird....

Would I ever tear up my Bible? No....it has brought me far too much comfort over the years. Would I care if you tear up yours? No...do what you gotta do...cause I've been in that place in my head and in my heart...and I think freedom of expression is a treasured liberty.

Whoa...you got a soap box full that time huh? And probably about a topic you could care less about! LOL....I guess I'm back!

P.S. I considered adding Manson tunes to my playlist here...but I didn't want to scare any readers away!!! Ha! I wonder where the hell that guy has gone anyway....he'll probably die young...The most brilliant ones always do.

P.S.S. * a few hours later * Ok I added one anyway, it's one you can surely tolerate, probably the most sedate song in his repertoire

Dirty Boys

For those of you who are too lazy to keep scrolling you can read my review of Crue Fest 2008 here.

This blog is strictly for the ladies! LOL!! Those of us suburban housewives and farm mommies who have that secret fantasy to be devoured by sweaty, tattoo covered rocker....Count me in!

It all started in 6th grade with Duff McKagan. When Guns N' Roses hit the scene all the girls went gaga for Axyl Rose....not me....I was nutso over the quiet, dirty, skinny bass player

In 1994 his pancreas exploded, yup exploded, nearly killing him, and his liver was failing. The doctors told him he had a month to live if he continued down that road. He had to get clean or die.

We had the chance to see Velvet Revolver in 2005 and girls, I am not joking a bit...that man is like a fine wine....this is what he looks like now:Having kicked his alcohol and herion habit by adopting a very strict martial arts routine and zen lifestyle he was only about 20 feet from me in all his sweaty glory!!!! I told my husband I wanted to run on stage and just lick a little sweat off his chest!!! (Yes, hubby found this hilarious....he knows me well....LOL)

Developing a love for hard rock/heavy metal thanks to the debut of Guns N' Roses, I quickly discovered scores of other 'hair metal' bands I had been missing out on. (Hey a 12 year old girl from BFE with only 1 college radio station to hear rock music on, lives a sheltered life...) Along came Motley Crue. Of course they had been out for almost 10 years by the time I discovered them but whoooo boy! While all the ladies love Tommy Lee...this one included...I was once again drawn to the quiet bass player....with the heroin addiction....I am seeing a theme now that I look back...hmmm

Of course I couldn't go for the guys who just liked to sling booze and chase girls....nooooo....I was crushing on the guy who had literally died of a heroin overdose and somehow survived, only to be released from the hospital to go shoot up again....he woke up with a needle in his arm the next day...in my mind, clearly this guy was kept alive for a reason. Today he is clean and championing the cause for addicts. He published The Heroin Diaries and formed a band to create an accompanying soundtrack. He is, after all, a songwriter first and foremost, and no autobiography of him would be complete without music. They called themselves Sixx A.M. Not expecting radio play or recognition, that's not what this project was about....but as fate would have it, they are hugely successful, with the message and the music touching thousands upon thousands of fans who have struggled with some sort of addiction, disease or disaster in their lives. He used to be an object of my desires....ok he still might be...but today he is one of my heroes!

Oh and then there's Buckcherry's Josh.....Josh Todd.....mmmm my Lord. Maybe it's the tattoos. Maybe it's the Mick Jagger Swagger...maybe it's the razor sharp voice...maybe it's the adorable pictures of this tatted up rocker with his beautiful children...but once again I have a school girl crush on a dirty sweaty rock star!!

And he rocked my world Sunday night in St. Louis!!! I am still in pain.....it's hell getting old!

St. Louis Crue Fest 2008 Review

We had a fabulous time and I will tell you all about it in another post, this blog is intended to be my review of the actual concert, Crue Fest 2008, only the first of what I hope to see as a continuing summer festival.

We arrived shorty before the first band was scheduled to hit the stage at 5 p.m. I was very surprised to find only one fan attraction outside the seating area, the Guitar World contest, where mucisians battle each other through the power of technology. The last time we came to see Motley Crue, during the Carnival of Sins, tour, there were parties, live radio feeds, chances to win front row seats and backstage passes, and even a guitar autographed by Mick Marrs and Nikki Sixx. I expected similar activities, especially at a concert with 5 bands playing in a summer festival type tour...but nothing. Just beer and food...so we ate and drank.

My disappointment in the lack of mayhem ensuing in the vending area was soon swept away by a nice cold $10 beer and the sounds of the first band taking the stage. I am not going to lie, I didn't expect to be impressed. I knew one song this band sang, it's a great song, but other than that I was clueless as to their style or talent. Can I just say when Trapt hit the stage I was absolutely blown away by the power in this boy's voice. I have since done some research to find out his name is Chris Brown. Watch this band. Any rock radio station worth their salt is going to be spinning their tunes sooner rather than later. I was incredibly impressed. Their style of music captured my attention from the first song...striking, strong and full of a beat and rhythm you found your body moving to, even when you were trying to limit movement in your spot on the grass under 95 degree blaring sunshine....I was sad to see them finish their set!

The masses began to pour in as we all awaited for Sixx A.m. to take the stage at sixx p.m. (har har I'm so funny...) Any real Crue fan worth their salt was there to support our favorite bass player Nikki Sixx in his side project, which has turned out to be a wildly popular success with their first album. It was easy to spot who the real Motley Crue fans were in the crowd from the moment they hit the stage. Curious rock fans, and people looking for a fun way to kill a Sunday night were clueless as to the significance of the this performance. Crue fans were on our fucking feet! Jumping dancing, screaming our heads off....yes, once again in the blaring sun, sweating out our beer as fast as we could drink it. They rocked the house with a flawless set that included a wide sampling of their musical talents.....for the second time of the night I was sad to see a band leave the stage.

Now I've got to be honest with you once again, I am not as familiar with Papa Roach as some of the younger kids in the crowd. I recognized their radio hits instantly, but much of their music was new to me. I fully expected to take a bit of rest and rehydrate with more alcohol and a bit of water after dancing and screaming in the hot sun for 2 hours already. I knew I would enjoy their set, but I figured I would enjoy it from the comfort of my itchy, grassy, sweaty butt. Folks let me tell ya, every time they broke into song I was on my feet. They just made it impossible to sit still!! They were fabulous. I found them to be an extremely energetic band that knew how to play to the crowd and work us into a frothing frenzy by the end of their set. So much for resting!! The heat was starting to subside a bit, but we actually saw a woman hauled out to an ambulance, presumably from heat exhaustion....wouldn't that suck, to pay to see 5 bands and pass out in the middle of band #3....anyhoo

Finally it was time for Buckcherry. Clearly several fans were in the audience with the primary goal of seeing them, with Motley Crue simply being a novelty act and the previous bands being a bonus to seeing the latest and greatest rock band to hit the air waves in recent years. Personally I was anxiously awaiting their performance myself. I have a not-so-secret crush on Josh Todd (I am convinced his tattoos would be candy flavored if I licked them all ;0), and the band itself plays some kick ass rocking grooves. If you call yourself a rock and roll fan, and find yourself able to sit still through a Buckcherry song....well...you ain't very rock and roll. They rocked the house and made the girls swoon (this one too....) and the crowd was wild for them! Josh's vocals were outstanding and the music was flawless. They ripped us all to shreds with "Cocaine"...I thought I was going to have a heart attack...but I just couldn't stop moving! LOL! "Sorry" was beautiful and hubby and I even got a little mushy....but I have to shamelessly admit to you that I couldn't fight mother nature any longer and had to make a trip to the bathroom before their closing song "Crazy Bitch" was over.....ughhh...I was the only girl in the bathroom of course...no rock chick would leave for that song, except an aging mother of two who had guzzled about 4 liters of beer...but it was that or water the lawn ( a thought which crossed my mind). Since it was the closing song they dragged it out for a looooooong looooooong time, so I had gotten to shake my ass, to my heart's content before the urge to pee was overwhelming....but clearly I am getting old...LOL!

Up until this point I was amazed that every single band who took the stage gave such stellar perfomances! I had gotten more than my money's worth so far getting to see Motley Crue again would just be the icing on the cake.

As an official Crue Slut (the proper term for a female Crue fan....men being Crue Heads of course) it feels sort of sacrilegious to give them a bad review. But strictly from the view of a chick who has seen these guys rock the fuckin' house down...this was not their best performance. Not that we didn't have fun...we had a blast!!! OMG I hurt so bad today it's not funny. We have the obligatory headbangers whiplash, and my body feels like it was run over by one of the tour buses. Entertainment wise, the show rocked. Performance wise....well...Vince was clearly struggling. The last time we saw the Crue I was impressed with his stamina and it was clear he had worked very hard preparing for thst tour (Carnival of Sins) and kept his voice in shape. Last night he had a hard time singing complete verses and missed a lot of words and he let the crowd do a lot of the singing for him. Not that we cared. Who am I to judge really...I was so out of breath I couldn't sing along to it all either...hard as I tried. He is only human after all. I still came away from the show feeling like I had been dragged from one end of a rodeo to another by a barrel horse, so it was good times!!!

Nikki and Tommy were tearing it up as usual, the Terror Twins forever and always (ok maybe only a small shadow of the wild kids they used to be, but then again, so am I ...with Tommy rallying the crowd against the local government for banning the traditional Motley "Titty Cam", where Tommy spans the crowd for the most beautiful (and some down right frightening) bare breasts....we've seen many many a booby on the big screen, but not last night....much to the "BOOOOOOOO" of the crowd! LOL!

Hubby and I both found our heart aching for Mick Mars, who was clearly struggling by the end of the show with pain. He looked much more stooped and slumped since the last time we saw him and he shuffled slowly to his favorite little spot. However, when that frail aging man picks up his guitar he slays the crowd every single time!!! He is one of the true Guitar Hero's and gets very little recognition for it. His style is undeniable with that familiar, heavy, tuned down sound. Supposedly he tunes his guitar to "D'" rather than the standard "E" which lends that deep strong sound. I stood in awe watching him on the monitor as the cameras captured his solo performances. After the show he was moving very slowly and holding his hip, in obvious agony as they took their bow and he quietly exited the stage in his stacked heel boots, which hide his more than 6" shrinkage since he was first diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis. He can't move his head from side to side and his body is hunched and slumped over so far you want to just hug him....but the man keeps rockin' the house night after night. I can't imagine how much pain he is in, and clearly he is either needing his other hip replaced, or his hip replacement is failing him. I was nearly moved to tears watching him quietly take his exit while the other boys stood with their hands raised, soaking in the cheers and screams from the crowd, filling their egos and basking in the glory. Mick silently shuffled out, head hanging low, unable to move much except for those golden fingers that never fail to get my adrenaline pumping!!

Hang in there Mick!!! We love you!!

Stay tuned for soon to be written blogs about our experience at the show. I have so much to say, I might end up driving you nuts....LOL! Up next is my obsession with dirty boys, particularly Nikki Sixx and Josh Todd....mmmmm don't miss it girls! LMAO!!! Until then I am going to go take my third dose of Ibuprofen for the day, go to bed and pray that tomorrow I can actually move my body a bit better than today.....

Escape Route

Well at least it's Friday and that's all I have to say about that. My daycare kids have been here for almost 3 hours and I am already feeling the anxiety creeping up. We are escaping to the city pool....in reality I don't know what's crazier watching 6 children in my home (1 is out today) or taking 6 children to a crowded noisy pool, at my own expense, with gas at $4.10 a gallon, and $2 a head to get into the pool...but I 'll take my chances! LOL! I need an escape, and even if it's only to feel hot sun on my face and cool water on my toes, I'll take it! Plus it's good bribery material for the morning....misbehave = NO POOL....it's not working real well so far! I think they know Miss Jada has lost her marbles and we will be going to the pool regardless....I think I lost this war a long time ago!

So speaking of escapes....yesterday on my way to our play date I cranked up the radio to drown out my screaming toddlers (yes, I do that) and the Rolling Stones were quickly filling up the empty spaces in the car. It was heavenly! I mean lets be honest, does anything lift you out of a fog better than a hot rockin' song?! I have a huge affection for the Stones, they were one of the best acts I have ever seen live. No shit! Watching a quintet of geriatric rockers never miss a lick to the sexiest music on the planet was by far one of the highlights of my life. The night started with Keith Richards, in all his pickled, wrinkled glory standing in a leopard skin coat, cigarette hanging from his lips, ripping up the opening cords to "Satisfaction". We went wild! Even from our nose bleed seats we were screaming like teenage girls....oh wait, I was a teenage girl, 19 in fact...or was I 20?...sorry ADD....and singing at top of our lungs.

Now it seems Ronnie Wood is once again in rehab. I see on TMZ this morning that Steven Adler, former drummer for one of the greatest rock bands that couldn't go the distance - Guns N' Roses - was arrested last night for drugs, one of my all time favorite singers, Scott Weiland is struggling desperately again....the list goes on and on. I think I may have blogged about this before, but it just goes to show that the price of art, creativity, and fame is sometimes not worth the toll it takes on the artist. Famous poets also seem to leave a trail of tears behind them. So many of the greats having given themselves their own dramatic and tragic exit from life. Maybe not being a famous poet isn't a bad thing.

Hubby and I are going to see Motley Crue Sunday night in St. Louis, Cruefest actually, an Ozzfest like event with several bands starting late afternoon, and I am always amazed, every time we see the Crue (yes we are groupies) that those men are still alive, standing before us, full of life and talent and bravado.....they could all so easily be dead. They have all paid a heavy price for their fame in the form of addictions...short of Mick Marrs, who bless his aging heart has suffered tremendous physical illness instead. Yet they soldier on, rockin' their hearts out for us and putting on a fantastic show every single time we see them.

Hopefully we don't come back from this concert with a bun in the oven...LOL....we did last time! Thank God for vasectomies....oh, sorry that was uncalled for. There's just something about sex drugs and rock and roll that just makes ya want to...well you know! LMAO!

I have to confess, Hubby is looking forward to this trip so much, and part of me is dreading it. He can't wait to have some time alone for us to just be "US"...I fear we aren't "US" anymore...we shall see. What if we have nothing to say to each other once we actually have time to say something. I guess that's why God invented beer...which we will be drinking by the gallon at the concert...ok, that's not funny either is it? But true. :0)~ We booked a hotel within walking distance...no DD here, we are gonna party baby! I am definitely ready for THAT!

Sexy Back

Ok I am reading this article, on MSNBC.com, (my morning news of choice) about "Feeling Sexy" and that fact that it's all in the mind. Can I first of all say we must be really freakin' short on news stories if this is #3 on the list of links. Anyhoo...I expected to read an article about confidence and how those who are confident and secure in their own sexuality sort of exude their own brand of sexy....regardless of physical flaws like a few extra pounds or limited height (I mean hey, look at Tom Cruise, that boy is 5' 6" with stilettos on, with a big nose and horse teeth...but the crazy MF is dead sexy!) Personally, I was interested in this article because I am of the full figured variety of women. I prefer to think of my body as full of dangerous curves :0)~ but let's face it, when I look in the mirror what I see is the aftermath of motherhood and the lack any personal time to try and fix it. Sometimes I am perfectly fine with how I look, and other times not so much....but I digress. I clicked on this article, assuming it would be an interesting read. It's not. At all. But I did find a few sentences in here that just about made me spit my coffee out....I just had to share:

Whereas lust tends to limit its reach to particular people or stretches of time (and, like hunger, can presumably be sated via fairly standard channels), sexiness is a state of mind. It is inextricably linked to sex as a concept but wholly separate from fornication.

ROFLMAO!!!! Ok, maybe it's just because she actually used the word fornication I really don't know but that line just cracked me up. And I don't know if I agree....deep down we want to feel sexy right. We want someone else to think we are sexy...and if we are honest with ourselves, don't we have to admit that we want those people to think we are sexy so that perhaps for a split second they will think 'I wonder what a roll in the hay with her would be like?' I suppose that is what she means by sexiness being 'inextricably linked to sex as a concept'. But then how is that wholly separate from fornication (God that word cracks me up! I feel like I am at church camp). Unless perhaps there is a difference between sex and fornication for her. In which case I feel sorry for her, poor thing! I hope she at least gets to fornicate every once in a while. LMAO! Ok that was completely uncalled for! This was just the funniest article to read first thing in the morning!! Of course only I would choose the story about sex over the story about Tony Snow dying, bless his heart.

Ok I have to say in her defense I understand what she is trying to say....it just struck me as extremely hilarious. So back to 'Bringing Sexy Back'. Yes it is a state of mind. I have a girlfriend who is not super model gorgeous at all...but since we were teens she has had men falling all over themselves to be near her. This is the girl who has an entire jewelry chest full of baubles collected from various lovers through her lifetime. There is just something about her. Personally, I have always been on the very curvy side, dare I say maybe even just plain large. And I can also say I have rarely been lonely. I know girls far prettier and skinnier than me that can never find a man. But these same girls are also very insecure, with slumped shoulders and timid speech around a guy. I so badly want to teach them how to throw a little switch in their hips and smile...make eye contact!! Guys aren't as 'programmed' as we like to assume they are, only attracted to the Playboy model or the heroin chic thin waifs. I think ultimately humans are attracted to personality. Yes there is the lust factor, we girls see a hot body and think 'daaaamnnn' but then the hot guy opens his mouth and starts blabbing about how hot his car is and one is instantly tuning him out trying to find an escape route....I have heard my husband and many other men make this comment about some very attractive girls we know "Yeah, she's hot until she opens her mouth...."

Sexy ain't all about what your packin' under your skivvies....It's more about what your packin' in your brain! I like to think I am packing a lot in both places. Ha! Maybe a lot more than I'd like in some places....but you work with what ya got right?!

I can't resist.....

I just had to post the video for Wagon Wheel, it's hilarious. If it's the first time you have ever heard the song I almost pity you seeing this because this image will forever be burned in your mind, and it truly is a beautiful song....but the video is too damn funny not to post. Not to mention the utter HOTNESS of the lead singer Ketch!!!! Mmmmmmm Hope you enjoy!

Into the Wild

I have been meaning to blog about this movie for a few days and have never found the time. I had read about it on a few websites, and it has been an inspiration to someone I know. So much so in fact he began a cross country journey of his own. I had to see it!!

If you haven't seen the movie, I highly recommend it. It taps into the core of the human spirit and is a true story about a man who fed his wanderlust to the ultimate extreme. A young man whose ideals and visions for the human race were full of compassion, hospitality and solidarity...in addition to solitude. He had very little use for money, success or recognition. He believed that careers were a '20th century inventions' and that "The core of mans' spirit comes from new experiences". If you haven't seen the movie stop reading here because I might spoil it for you.

This man set off on a journey with no map, no money, no intended course....just the journey of life. To me that alone is an inspiration. Before I had a family I often dreamed of just hopping in my car and just going...drive to wherever end up anywhere. To sleep under a different sky every day until I had satisfied my lust for going. Obviously this little fantasy didn't figure in $4 gas prices LOL! Or how I would fund my journey even in the best of economies. But Chris didn't need money. He traveled by thumb and wisdom. Shed his former identity and named himself Alexander Supertramp. I find this idea not only just completely kick ass, but refreshing as well. Haven't we all wanted to be someone else, just for a while?

His travels eventually inspire him to take on the ultimate human challenge. Surviving Alaska, alone, in the wild with very little equipment to do so. In the end he didn't survive, but perhaps that was his destiny. Not a failure on the part of a fool, as some see it, but the destination of a modern day prophet. The final chapter in the inspiring story of Christopher McCandless.

Just like anything I find interest in, I have obsessively researched this story ever since I saw the last frame of the movie. In fact, I finished the movie at 11 p.m and found myself out here on the computer Googling until 12:30 a.m. The more I read the more my inspiration was dashed and clouded with anger at those who, I feel, misunderstood him. So many chalking this inspiring story up to nothing more than the psychotic downfall of an untreated schizophrenic. This led me to ponder these thoughts.

What if that theory is true? Schizophrenia. Does it diminish the inspiration? Does it change the face of Alexander Supertramp? Does it change this story from an epic journey of self discovery to one of insane wandering with a tragic ending? Not for me. Who is to say why one person's reality is not valid? My mother's illness taught me this one truth...it was real to her.

McCandless was and continues to be such an inspiration to people across the globe. I refuse to let the theory that he was simply insane take away from his genius theories about human life and love, or his spirit of adventure. Did Picasso's illness change his works of art to blobs on a canvas? Did Syd Barrett's journey to madness diminish his mark on the history of rock music? Does John Nash's insanity belittle his prestige as a Nobel Prize Winner?

No.

Regardless of the reason, Alexander Supertramp will forever be one of those people I hold in my soul as an inspiration and an example of how a human life should be lived.

"If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, then all possibility of life is destroyed."— Chris McCandless

Your Dreams Have Missed You.....

Ok, I just have to post this crazy ass dream I had last night. I must live a rich fantasy life because it seems the craziest dreams I have revolve around scandalous escapades with celebrities......and I am grateful my brain gave me a humorous distraction from all the chaos it is currently trying to processing. Warning: this is long, but very funny.....

So the dream starts out that I am in a hotel room with 3 other women (who happen to be the ’sister wives’ on Big Love if you are familiar with that show, polygamist family, 3 wives etc...not clear as to wether I was supposed to be the fourth wife or just a tag along) but we are preparing to go to a concert....it’s summertime and it is at an outdoor state fair type arena. But we happen to find out that the band is staying in the same hotel. And of course me being the brazen ballsy hussy that I am, go investigating. I find the lead singer’s room and knock on the door. And who opens the door.....Axyl Rose! Not the bloated, botoxed, braided version of today, but the kid. The breakout star who came out of nowhere Indiana to be perhaps the greatest Rock and Roll star ever if he hadn’t let his ego get the best of him...ok back to the dream. He invites me in. We start discussing music and poetry. I share some of mine, he shows me some new songs he is working on. I happen to mention that I caught the Velvet Revolver show recently (which is true in real life)..(now if you are out of the loop here, Velvet Revolver is pretty much Axyl’s old band...minus Axyl~They are fabulous) ok.....he gets a little tense about that and I apologize. Soon we are back on track sharing our art and of course ’falling in love’. He says he has to get ready for the show, but wants to see me after the concert. I tell him we have front row seats, I won’t be hard to find...etc....He gives me his diary...I leave, but as I am walking down the hallway I decide his diary is too personal to keep, I go back and knock on the door and explain this to him. He kisses me, takes the diary back and tells me he will see me after the show.

I go back to my room to get ready. The other girls are wearing sweaters and skirts fit for Easter Sunday and apparently my clothes have been laid out for me on the bed.....I put them on and then realize there is no way I am going to a rock concert dressed like Sister Margharita. So I stay behind while the other girls leave, (apparently I have my own car) and I try to assemble and ensemble trashy enough for a concert with only a suitcase full of soccer mom gear.

I end up being late for the concert...in fact I never arrive because the dream suddenly shifts to me sitting in a trashy mobile home owned by Anna Nicole Smith and her boyfriend, who happens to be the amature tatoo artists who did my first tatoo...Ray. We are smoking cigarettes and are drinking booze of some sort and suddenly we are out of smokes. Anna offers to run to the gas station, and as soon as she is gone Ray and I are all over each other....except he turns into Scott Weiland (lead singer for Velvet Revolver...see the connection here...) We are all hot heavy and pretty much doing the deed when Anna walks back in with a carton of smokes and brown liquor bag and proceeds to beat the crap out of us with it......

Next thing I know Scott Weiland/Ray (whoever the hell he is supposed to be) and I are driving in a car, going to a gas station to get cigarrettes. (She must have destroyed the carton on us) He is very repentatent., but strangely I am not feeling that guilty. (my husband apparently doesn’t exist in this particular dream). I am feeling like she is just white trash and he should just come with me...I am moving in with my cousin in Carbondale.....

Then I wake up. Now somebody interpret that!!! I should also add that I have started a new sleep medication. The one that has the commercial with Abe Lincoln and Groundhog playing chess, their slogan is ’your dreams miss you’....I guess that is not false advertisement! LOL!

P.S. I have my own ideas about the interpretation of this dream....I will post them later.