Hello Again!!

Well it seems as if there is some renewed interest in this blog! I have received some e-mail request for my private blog and those invitations will be sent out this morning I promise. To some of my old readers who didn't follow me into my own private world I guess I should update you on me these days. As usually I am a mixed bag of drama...you know we can't ever have any fucking peace and quiet. My bipolar disorder is well under control finally, which is awesome! I have only had the lightest of swings, the highs which kick in my creativity even more and the lows that just make me a bit blah and bury my nose in a book.

The bad news is I have developed a bladder disease called Interstitial Cystitis...I let you wiki that cause it's too complicated to explain but it is very painful and has severely limited my mobility. It also severely limits my diet....SEVERELY. I have lost 80 pounds. Normally one would celebrate this (Yay! I secretly am - weighing less than I did when I got married just rocks in my book!) but my husband and doctors are not pleased. The weight came off rather rapidly in the beginning which caused it's own mixed bag of health problems. But I am making the effort now to maintain the weight I am at. Especially until surgery time which is August 10th. I need to be as healthy as I can for that. Ok boys cover your eyes cause it's girly stuff but I am having a hysterectomy, a TVI bladder implant and a bladder biopsy. Once we get the biopsy results we will know how to further proceed with bladder treatment. So far all treatments we have tried have only been mildly effective. Unfortunately some people never get relief from the pain....wonderful. Pain meds tend to increase my depressive side, so I try to avoid them. A heating pad works the best, but words ofo warning if you use a heating pad 24/7 (I know I know but you don't understand the PAIN) You develop lovely purplish brown splotches all over the skin. Internal burns. They don't hurt, so I continue doing that but I know it's horrifying to look out. Supposedly it WILL go away if I give up the heating pad for a month or two.

The kids are going great, the oldest starts Kindergarten this year. I have mixed emotions. Part of me is ready for him to be gone all day (bad mommy) just to ease some stress but part of me is shocked that I actually have a child in school! Real school!

So you might ask how have I been occupying my time?? Don't laugh....ok you can laugh. Twitter!! I am heavily involved in a role playing series for The Anita Blake Vampire Hunter Series if you are familiar with it. It started out as creating a character for myself that is intended to be prototype for a novel I am working on. HOWEVER, it boomed, and in true Jada fashion I had go overboard. I secretly play several characters in the series. Including a bisexual vampire, a gay man, two lesbian werewolves and wereleopard.....he they don't call me crazy for nothing :0)~ But on the flip side it keeps me writing everyday without have to put a lot of effort into it. It is spontaneous but not as stressful as trying to create the art that is piece of original fiction. It's almost like cheating...reading the Cliff notes instead of reading the book. I get to write on a daily basis with very little effort or brain power on my part. I just write what comes to me and what is appropriate to my character. My favorite character by part is a completely slutty wealthy woman...who secretly has a big heart and a horrible childhood. My therapist says I "get my inner freak on" with her. She's right!!! I love it. And she is a huge part of me. Just not a part I can freely be...

Ok this is probably a page long by now, but you know how much I like to talk. The offer still stands as in my previous post. tryingtosurvive101@gmail.com is the place to request an invitation to the private blog. Tell me who you are, a little about yourself and why you are interested in my blog. Most of my readers followed me there, but if you are just stumbling upon this old blog for the first time and enjoy it, drop me a line and I'll let you deeper into the REAL me. Bwaahahahahahah!

A smackin' good life...

I had a nightmare the other night...one that is still haunting me. It's one of those dreams that leave that nagging feeling as if there is some significant meaning hidden in it. I had a breakdown, needed to be hospitalized and the only people in my life who came to be with me were Bethany and Sgt. Volk. I am not sure what that means......maybe they are the only two I truly trust with my life and the darkside of my brain? Either way it was disturbing. I was glad they were there, but saddened to have no family there. Maybe they are my family....

So on a happy note....get your needles ready and your engines fired up! The orders are pouring in for the website!!! (see sidebar, I have added a link) In fact if they keep up like this I will be swamped. That is a good thing because I quit my job at the tavern for now. I can't handle the fast pace and the noise there anymore, since my depression in July it's like a part of my brain just can't handle all that hustle and bustle and screaming drunks LOL! So we need the money. I am excited. I forgot how much I loved to sew, I gave it up for the summer, but being back feels good. Although carpal tunnel syndrome is back with a vengance. I let the kids slap my hands when they fall asleep, they think that's funny. I hold my arms out and let them just slap the shit out of my hands until I can feel them again and go back to sewing! LOL! I'm setting a wonderful example ain't I?

Hope all my blogging buddies out there are doing well, I worry when I don't see new posts or worse yet when a blog has been deleted. You can always contact me via my stitching site, let me know you are ok. If you are reading this, you know who you are. I hope everything is ok sweetie!! I see you have deleted your blog :0( I am worried about you. How are the meds working?

More Bags...Need Opinions!

Ok still hoping to get some feedback here. I have made a few more bags. To give you an idea of dimensions the Olde Crow Bag is 7 x 10", while the Peace bag measures 5.5 x 7". The Merry Christmas and Blessings to You and Yours bags are both about 11 x 6''. What do you think? Am I wasting my time? Will people buy these things????

Yes, I realize there are no handles on the Friends are Forever bag...I was in a hurry to post pics, I'll get to it.

Would you buy this?? NEED FEEDBACK!

This is my new idea for my stitchery website....would you buy these? I am thinking of selling them for $10, and it's a gift that lasts because the 'gift bag' can be reused for decoration or as a useful item.

I need feedback folks, tell me the truth would ya!!! I have several styles, colors and phrases planned out, many that are not necessarily strictly holiday related. Would you buy this for you wife, mother, daughter, grandmama, friend, or other lady in your life? And is $10 a fair price. Larger bags may cost more. Some have full square bottoms, those may cost a bit more too, just because they are extra work. SPEAK UP PLEASE!

Hungry Hypo Hippo

Well it's definately full on hypomania time in this house. I have been laying in bed since 4 a.m. trying not to get up, knowing I need some rest. I have boundless energy and feel really great today...the problem is, now I know there is going to be a crash invovled....ugghh. When will it hit? Probably tomorrow when I work two jobs. I think tomorrow night will be my last night working at the tavern for a while. I can't handle it. I hate that too because it was my one night 'out'. Even though I was working I got to see all my friends....yes all my friends hang out in a tavern all weekend LOL...

I am getting ready to make my coffee for the morning, which I don't need but I know I will have a massive headache if I don't drink. Today will be a productive day if nothing else LOL! I could tell last night I was cycling into a shift. I think my menses are playing a big part. I have been mildly manic all week but today I am ready to conquer the world! But now that I know what I am dealing with I will resist my Joan of Arc impulse and just conquer the kitchen full of apples I have....

Yes MORE apples! When we went to the orchard yesterday I just couldn't resist buying one more peck I thought, well an Apple Crisp and some more Apple Butter would be good, of course there will be apple jelly from the juice of the butter! So....I will keep myself busy doing that during naptime. I am taking the kids to the park today, and to Wal-Mart. I have to find a sewing needle...

My needle broke on my sewing machine last night!!! AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!! Just when I was on a roll making these adorable little handbags that I am going to start selling. I had finally figured out how to make a square bottom bag (never one to read any directions or follow a pattern, I had to just figure it out myself LOL) and then clink the needle was gone. Damn it....

Going to go eat some more apple crisp....yumm...I am going to be as big as this house if I don't stop baking!

Back in Business

Well I am finally re-opening my stitchery website...maybe I'm nuts (arf arf I'm so funny...). I am anxious to see how much business I get this season. I was busier than a one armed paper hanger last Christmas.

If you see something you are interested in, get your orders in now! http://www.starklysimplestitches.com/

Well things are ok around here. Sew sew sewing. It's one of those hobbies that you forget how much you enjoy and how good you are at until you pick it up again. I haven't sewed for two months now, I took the summer off, and now I am really enjoying it again. It is a nice hobby to have for crazy folk like me :0)~ It's busy work. And repetitive. I am going to expand the business to include handbags, gift bags and curtains soon if I don't get that job I applied for. Or maybe even if I do....we'll just see how much time I have. I have already started on the gift bags, they will be holiday gift bags and then you can stuff the bag with some dried goodies or potpourri and you have a gift that lasts forever.

Ok gotta go sew......Sew Ya Later! Ha! Ha! I just crack myself the hell up!





Edited to add:


Someone asked to see the Wedding Dress project when it was finished, it has it's own page on my website, but I will post it here as well, the picture of the little pillows isn't very clear, but it's all I have...Bethany took the pics, blame her :0)~ (j/k B you know I love ya!) The lace trim was so delicate on this dress, I used it to 'frame' the piece. I believe the family was very pleased :0)

All of the women in the family (there are only daughters) and three granddaughters got a pillow made from the dress so that they each have a little piece of it for their own.You can go get your Kleenex now...I'm done.

Better Day

Ok, maybe I was PMS'n a bit in my last post, but it was all true. I was just awfully growly huh?

Hubby and I had a good talk this evening. He took the time to read some literature I found him online. Things are better for now.

On a really good note I am still feeling like these meds are helping tremendously. I think I have found the right fit. I am still cycling, but it's becoming almost unnoticable to anyone but me.....Yay! Having a down day today, but after what happened last night I am not surprised. But to make me feel better I made more applebutter and tons and tons of apple jelly....YUMMO! This winter that is all going to be soooooo yummy!

Cathartic Cooking

For me, there is something extremely relaxing about peeling, slicing, dicing, mixing, boiling, kneading, rolling, and creating food. It's much like writing or painting. You start with a blank canvas. Nothing. And with a few tools and some creativity you create a masterpiece.

Today it's chicken soup and home made yeast rolls for my Daddy. Sgt. Volk and I spent much of the day Friday picking guitar and singing and it made me miss my Dad. Our relationship is a fickle one, but he is a musician and all the singing and pickin' and grinnin' just made me long to see him. So I am loading up the boys and some good food to take to him. He is terminally ill with COPD and takes horrible care of himself. I gave up trying to fix him years ago, feeling like if he wanted to die in a tavern on a barstool then so be it....but today, and maybe just for today, I felt the urge to care for him. A healthy meal and a healthy dose of his grandbabies will do him good. Maybe make him happy enough to stay out of the bar for a day or two....although I've tried all my life to make him happy enough to stop doing that and it's never happened....I won't hold my breathe. But instead I am doing this for me. I need to see my Daddy. I'll take care of my needs and he can take care of his needs as he sees fit. I love him. There's a lot of reasons not to....but I do. And he loves me, this I do know, he just doesn't have many skills to show it.

Jada Appleseed

My neighbor, the rhubarb growing, bee keeping wine making neighbor has apples ready....apples galore. So today the boys and I went apple picking. We picked a 5 gallon bucket full, came home made a dozen of them into dumplings, and the rest into apple butter and applesauce. We had so much fun *ok mommy did* that we went back and picked another 5 gallon bucket full! I just finished washing them and am pooped....the only thing I hate about picking apples is washing them. If you've never seen what an apple, fresh off the tree looks like, especially out in the country, it's not what you'd expect. It's more like a black speckled, mildew looking ball. You have to scrub and scrub to the road dust, dirt and bug shit off of them...but underneath all of that is that shining yellow globe of golden heaven.

Although the cost saved, verses the labor put into it, probably doesn't really pay to do it, I love having fresh applesauce and apple butter in the freezer. It tastes so good and it's great to pull out for a quick snack or to serve guests who've never had it.

I think my husband thinks I am suffering from a manic spell today...perhaps he is right, but I sure as hell get a lot done that way! LOL!

I don't presume to assume
That you care one bit
About my John Deere kitchen
Or the old tractors in it.
But just because I want to,
I'm going to show you,
My kitchen

It's Bitchin'!!

All of these tractors belonged to my husband as a child OR they belonged to his father. They are sacred items in our home and will be passed down to our boys. John Deere keeps food on our table and I thought it was fitting to display them in the exact place that I dish it up! Plus my husband thinks I rock for showing off his toys!

Home for Good

My buddy Sgt. Volk is finally home for good!!! She signed out at midnight and drove all night to get back to IL...took her about 13 hours I think. She is not officially out of the Army until Oct. 19, but she's never going back! LOL! (she's not AWOL, she's using leave)

She came over this evening and we went 4-wheeler riding around the countryside and through the woods. It felt so nice to enjoy the great weather, the beautiful scenery and having her home! We had a few adventures in the woods, but like true country girls we got through the logs and thick brush and of course ended up at the tavern for a cold beer. I tried one, it didn't make me feel to bad so I had another, but I mixed it with tomato juice to water it down (one of my favorite cocktails.....beer, juice, salt...)

Words can't describe how good it is to have her home. Now I just hope she can survive her homecoming. It irks her to no end to answer question after question about the war and the ARMY in general. It's to the point now that a few of us try to be her wing man and just say something along the lines of "The Soldier has no comment at this time!"....I am going to have a T-Shirt made that says "Ask me no questions" on the front and on the back it will say "I'll only tell you lies....." War has been hard on her, and it only makes it worse to have to listen to everyone else's two cents on it....leave her the fuck alone. She served her country, she didn't expect to go to war...but she did it, she survived it and now she just wants to move on with her life. That may prove to be hard for a while as she gets settled into civilian life. But she knows she always has me...she can just come to my house and not say a single word and I understand. I love her to death and am so glad she is home and safe! Welcome home darlin'!!!!

A is for ass, as in pain in the ass.
N nothing seems to help
X is for exhausted
I want to be able to relax
Even my toes won't sit still
This has to stop sometime
Yup, I'm having issues......


I just can't seem to get rid of my anxiety in the last few days. My brain won't shut up. I don't know if it's because of the job, or family issues, or my fishin' buddy finally getting her butt home and out of the ARMY, money issues or what. It could be good anxiety or bad anxiety but it just won't go away!!! Even my 'downer' pills....I feel like a pill popper....don't even make a dent in it. I can take two Valium and I am still going 100mph. On the flip side I have been sewing like a mad woman and am going to be ready to reopen my website soon....and my house is clean. But my back hurts, my hands are sore and I still have that headache....but I just can't sit still. Not even right now...gotta go. It's almost 10 p.m. and I am going to go sew some more.

Plain Old Fashioned Country Girl Braggin'

Ok I just have to show you my flowers....the ones that were successful anyway. I got a little carried away this spring....remember I told you I am notorious for not following through on my big projects (now I have an excuse....BPD :0) but I do have some on my porch that are just gorgeous and I want to show them off. I am sure many of you could care less...but I can't help it, I am gonna show ya anyway! LOL!

These are my midnight Gladiolas aren't they just heavenly!!! These pics were all taken before dawn so they are a bit dark.

I can't remember what this is called but I love it. It's some kind of Maple.

Once again, I can't remember the name but I love it!

Same plant in it's full pot with coleus and vinca that I am trailing down the banister, with seed begonias in the bucket at the bottom...I started those from seed all by myself :0)

My Dahlia's in an old 10 gallon crock that was my granny's

My tuberous Begonias...not a great pic, the flash was too bright, but they are gorgeous

And finally....my baby....you know those weeping pussy willow trees ya'll are paying $100 for a the local nursery, those gorgeous weeping miniature trees that look fabulous in your front yard??? I paid $15 for this little sapling that I am growing myself...in 3 years I will have one of those trees too and all it took was $15 and some TLC!

Ok enough bragging for the day. I got to get ready for work at the bank today.

That's Right! I am the MAN!!!

Not to be confused with I am a man because that would be an entirely different blog, requiring a whole other cabinet full of medicine...but anyhoo....

I was be bopping around the kitchen, trying to relieve some anxiety. I am anxious about the possibility of a new job and I think I am made more anxious by a scheduled increase in my meds. So I am cooking. Cooking is cathartic for me....especially baking pies...and let's face it, eating them might as well be tranquilizer in a bottle so tonight it's rhubarb. It's just as easy to make two as it is to make one so I made two, one for my neighbor, who unknowingly rescued me from a dinner disaster!

I was planning ahead, thinking spaghetti would be quick and easy and I could use it for lunch tomorrow and supper Saturday night when Daddy has the kids and I am working at the tavern....hamburger made, water boiling, ready to go....no pasta sauce...what's a girl to do? I scour the cupboards. Tomato soup, homemade juice and stewed tomatoes is all I've got! Hmmmmmm...what the hell we'll give it a whirl...so with the help of my neighbor's recent gift of fresh dried oregano and basil, two cans of soup, 1/2 a quart of juice, a can of stewed tomatoes, a little onion powder, garlic powder, salt pepper, and sugar I made some damn fine pasta sauce!!!! The kids LOVED it......Yes folks, I am the Man!!!

A weekend getaway!

Hubby and I will be celebrating our 7th wedding anniversary on Monday....he decided we needed to go somewhere. Not just out for dinner and a movie blah blah blah but GO SOMEWHERE. I was tickled! Yay! Escape! No poopy diapers and whining and crying and fighting! Although, you know me, I can't bear to be gone too long or too far....so I found us a cozy little cottage on a lake an hour away from here! We totally can't afford it, but absolutely need it....LOL Story of my life!

I actually haggled the guy down quite a bit on the price...I explained we don't have a boat and will not be using the boathouse etc etc etc....and I told him we could easily spend a weekend in St. Louis for the price he was asking....(lie...ok maybe if we stayed at the Best Western and ate PBnJ all weekend). And of course my final kicker was my offering price was better than making NO MONEY because the cabin was going to sit empty all weekend....He took the bait. Damn I'm good! That or I'm just a bitch...either way I saved $100!

Here is the cabin, nothing fancy, but it looks like heaven to me....peace and quiet. I am going to curl up in that hammock with a good book for most of Saturday!

Here is the view of the lake from the cabin. It has it's own sandy beach so we can swim and the upper level of the boat house has a swing on it so we can sit out there and just watch the water. We have some friends who summer at the lake too so we are going to hang out with them a bit and do some boating, preferably the slow trolling around the lake kind of boating, while consuming large amounts of fruity tequila spiked drinks. I am so excited to get away! And super excited that we won't be that far away.

Although can I just say the weekend I was starting to plan for us was actually in St. Louis and Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band are playing Saturday night?!!.......Yes I gave up tickets to see the Boss for this lakehouse.....I must be in desperate need of solitude....the old me would have NEVER EVER EVER done that! But I knew if we went to the city I would not relax, I would go go go go go go go until I couldn't go anymore, cause that's just how I am. I drive my husband nuts when we go to the city. And I've seen Bruce before....and I suppose my absence won't affect his performance in the slightest....although he may sense a small nagging loss at my not being there......

Ha! I wish!

Primitive Living with a Crazy Bitch

Living without the internet has forced me into a primitive lifestyle. I have had to rely on my iPod and Satellite TV for entertainment. Goodness me, how did anyone have any fun before technology?! LOL! I've even had to talk to my friends on the telephone *gasp* because I can't check my e-mail!! I even went out for supper with Beth last night....a face to face meeting out it in the real world! Perhaps lack of technology isn't such a bad thing! Maybe I should cancel my internet altogether....Ha! As if....

I am hoping I have enough 'juice' to post this blog. I wasn't able to get online all weekend....

Actually I have been sewing a lot and have almost finished the 'wedding dress' project. It has turned out lovely and I am very excited about it. I have been listening to music a lot and even considered trying to teach myself to play the harmonica, or french harp as my hillbilly father calls it. Wouldn't that be a hoot?! LOL! I have one......whether I have the ambition is a whole other story....

So, not many new Divine Secrets from the Pastoral Princess at the moment. Still adjusting to meds and learning to deal with the ups and downs. It's funny, I have surely always had these rapid mood swings....or at least for a good long while now, but since I have been officially diagnosed it's as if everyone in my life, including me is acutely aware of them now. My husband is especially sensitive to this...and is extremely frustrated that a pill didn't cure me....It's impossible to explain to him, and he has yet to take the initiative to try and educate himself about BPD, I have several books that I have been scouring and there are limitless resources on the net (oh wait....we are grounded from that) but I think he just wants it to all go away.

He was wonderful when the first initial breakdown....but now I feel like he is just tired of the whole affair and wants it to go away. He keeps talking about 'getting me on some medication that actually works, cause this isnt' working' etc....I've tried to explain to him that there is no pill that is going to turn me into a stepford wife. Sick or not I am gonna have bad moods, bitchy days, sad days, happy days and energetic days....I am human. But since the diagnosis of BPD I feel like everything has changed, and not just with him but our entire family.... What used to be brushed off as "what the hell crawled up her butt today?" has now become "Oh, she's having an episode"....

I just love being the crazy bitch in town. :0)~ I am hoping my Dr. will educate him a bit. We go Aug 26th.....

The Wedding Dress

I am working on a sewing project right now that has been a fabulous distraction for the madness and a pacifier for the hypomania when it occurs. My friend Beth whose blog you can find HERE, and her family have commissioned me to do a very very special and scared project for them. Her grandparents 50th wedding anniversary is at the end of the month. They asked me to take the tiny tattered 50 year old wedding dress and stitch a keepsake for them. They're Grandma was actually going to throw it away!! She found it cleaning out her closet and decided to pitch it...thankfully one of the daughters snagged it from her!!!

It started out as just a simple piece that would be framed, but you know me....grandiose they say right?...Once I started cutting into this fragile piece of material, which felt horrible at first, like I was cutting into a living thing...who cuts up a beautiful old wedding dress?!, I decided that I can't let any of the material go to waste. Not one piece. Sooooooo I decided that I would make small little pillows for all of the daughters and granddaughters, with a small ivory ribbon attached at the top so they could hang them from a peg shelf or a door knob if they wanted. I thought how wonderful it would be for all of these women to have a piece of this dress that symbolized the union that created all of them.

Of course I can't ever do anything simple....it is imperitive that my creations be something that nobody has ever seen and something with a "WOW" factor. (you'd think maybe we would have caught onto some of this BPD stuff a long time ago LOL!) Sooooo anyway....I have all the material accounted for, every piece will be used in some fashion or another....except....this thin gauze like material that was used as a lining in the collar (picture a sailor suit kind of collar)...it is yellowed and fragile and there is no way it would make it through a sewing machine. So I got into my best Pooh Bear pose "think think think...." I was not going to throw one piece of this dress away...... and then the light bulb went off!! ROSES!!! I could cut scraps and roll them into roses and used them to adorn the pillows for the daughters and granddaughters. I figured the process would be very similar to making flowers with icing, when I am making cakes....so I tried and tried and finally got the hang of it and now there are piles of this dingy, yellowed, fragile little roses ready to be adorned onto the pillows. I was so proud of myself last night I could just bust!!!

I am sure most of you could give a rats ass about this...but it made me happy, and it's high time I wrote about something happy for a change, don't ya think?? LOL

Auuugghhhh I'm Grounded!!!

So it seems my affection for gay porn has caused my internet service provider to limit my acess to the internet....ok, yes I am kidding....I upload too many pictures of my kids and download too much music..which of course I forgot my service has a cap on. If you go over the limit you fall to the bottom of the priority list on getting connection speeds. Sooooo the only time I can get online right now is early in the morning and late at night...ugggghhhh This will last until my 'usage' falls below the 'limit'. I hate being told what to do!!!

I am going to be blogging in Word and then pasting for the next thirty days LOL! I can see myself crawling out of bed at 3 a.m. to post a blog.....ok no I can't, I like sleep too much...so if you don't hear from me on an ultra regular basis don't panic....I'm just grounded. I've been a bad girl and hogged too much 'bandwith'.....

So our trip to Red Hill State Park was heavenly. The kids had a blast. We hiked and hiked and climbed hills, crawled over fallen logs, pointed out deer runs and prayed for no poison ivy. Did I mention the kids had fun? Did I mention that I went to bed at 8 p.m. last night? LOL! OMG I was so tired. See we had so much fun hiking that we just kept going.....and then in finally occurs to me that we are going to have to hike the same distance back. Well with a two year old that proved to be a bit hard on me as I found myself hiking with a 35 pound human backpack...in addition to the actual backpack that I had packed full of a first aid kit, diapers, bug spray etc... Let's just say Miss Jada is hoping today is a quiet day....but I won't get my hopes up!

I have been feeling some setbacks in the last two days regarding my moods. It's not depression, just melancholy. I think the stress of having all the kids back is a big trigger for me. But I just have to get through the next 3 days. I can do that....I hope. Yesterday was the day I was supposed to up my Seroquel dosage, so I did that last night. Perhaps that will help too. I am now on double the dosage I was taking (which is still a relatively small dose compared to what I have read on the internet). I dread the drowsiness, because that has still been somewhat of an issue. I am sure I will be dragging ass today. But I have candy....and I'm not above bribing :0)~

I am considering doing a review here on Seroquel. Mostly because when it was first prescirbed to me I went scouring the net to find patient reviews, opinions and side effects. Since it seems my secret is out anyway I think I will do that sometime soon. So ya'll regular readers can just ignore that post, unless you are comfortable with me talking about cotton mouth and constipation. :0)~ But I know it meant a lot to me find real people's opinions and experiences with the drug. If I can help someone make a decision about getting help, I would be happy to do that. Even if it means talking about poop.

Anyhoo the first set of rugrats are pulling in the driveway so I have to go put my 'daycare' hat on! Have a great day!

Kickin’ your can all over the place

Cause We Will, We Will, Rock You!!!

We Are The Champions My Friend......

For the 5th straight year in a row, Vic's Cafe took the win for Bar Wars. The tri-county softball tournament of rival bars. Was it as exciting as the World Series? No. But around here it's kind of a big deal, at least for our tiny little community it is. It is held every year in the itty bitty town of St. Marie, population 300 (Salute! ok few people will get that, but if you did...I know you are laughing your ass of! LOL), where a couple hundred people converge with coolers full of beer, on 4 wheelers, in their muddy trucks and their 'grown up cars' like my mini-van, to watch the annual game. Of course, being the kick ass team that we are, we take our softball seriously, at least for one day a year. In fact we probably take it about as seriously as we take our beer drinking...and that's pretty damn serious! LOL However, my beer drinking days are over...more about that later. Vic's occupies the same (only) shady spot at the ball diamond every year, where we grill out all day, drink beer, stomp ass on the field and talk smack all day.....it's like the redneck Super Bowl. Our trophy is always proudly displayed on our ratty old picnic table that announces us as Bar Wars Champion's for 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, and now you can add 2008 to that tally!! It was and exciting day, at one point we scored 12 runs in one inning...we were some proud rednecks!! Yay!!

There is a long standing 'label' on our community, intended as a horrible insult, tossed our direction from young people in other rival communities (yes I know...childish...complicated...it's a whole other post). That label is "Inbreeders".....anytime there has been a fight at a party or someone gets mad at the bar or some other conflict with and 'out of towner' the term "F'n Inbreeders!!!" gets shouted as a departing sentiment. But it's days like yesterday when I want to yell at those assholes...."Hey all that inbreedin' got us some damn fine ball players, don't ya think?!" but I guess that would be tacky! Ha!

Why are we called inbreeders you might ask? Well...in sense because it's true, but on a very broad scale. I've talked before about our community being very closed off and self sufficient at one time, due to religious persecution. Of course this was 100-200 years ago....but all of these families still live here....nobody ever leaves here...it's like the Bermuda Triangle...anyhoo, distantly everyone here is related. In fact my own children are related to every single one of my daycare kids somehow. It may be a 3rd or 4th cousin, but every child in my care comes from the same bloodline if you go back about 5 generations.....and to some, I am sure that is a bit creepy...around here we don't think anything about it. People try not to fall in love with someone who is a 2nd cousin or closer, but there have been 2nd cousins get married around here. Not that big of a deal. My own in-laws are 3rd cousins, they didn't know it until after they were married....it just happens. But anyhoo...of course we hear the occasional slur yesterday as we were kicking every team's butt on the ball diamond...we just laughed and gave 'em all the California Howdy!

P.S. I tried to drink a few beers yesterday, along with a ton of bottled water...the beer does not mix with my new meds. It made me grouchy and feel icky. It looks like I might be the Designated Driver for life...which isn't always a bad thing I guess...

A good day to be a cow....

Well for those who were concerned ;0) By the time the men got to the pasture to load up the cow she had successfully delivered a healthy calf all by herself. Mommy and baby are doing just fine! And to top that off the boys and I got to go see twin calves in the barn who were born on Wednesday. They are adorable!

It's a good day to be a cow! LOL

Now I am off to nap and rest up for BAR WARS!!! Where all the local tavern's gather to compete in an annual softball tournament. It's good times, and this will be the last year for our tavern...sadly...too many of us are too busy with families and other commitments to focus on the team. But we have been the reigning champions several times....I hope we got out with one last championship this year!!!

GO VIC'S!!!!