Good News Good News Good News!!!!

He woke up!! He woke up at 5:30 this morning! He doesn't remember anything, and they still don't have a lot of answers, but the most important thing at this point is that he is awake!!! I firmly believe in the power of prayer and we did a lot of it last night!

River, my 4 year old, has the Catholic meal prayer committed to memory...so that is the prayer he recited last night to pray for Curtis. Then he asked his Daddy how Curtis was going to hear the prayer...Daddy explained that God would hear the prayer and take care of Curtis....then River asked Daddy a very important question about God...."What is he wearing?" That was a question Daddy didn't have an answer for.....

Finally a Normal, Insanely Odd Blog

So is anyone else around here sick and tired of reading about me being sick and tired?

I am feeling pretty good today and trying to get things back to normal around here. I've cleaned house today and have generally felt normal. I have the house to myself for a few hours so I have been surfing for music online and came across an old song that I used to love. It's a Marilyn Manson song. And I thought what a perfect thing to blog about! LOL! It's time to start writing about all the crazy shit I usually write about. And hey, we've been teetering on the edge of insanity all week...who better to talk about than the big, bad, scary, and insane devil boy, Marilyn Manson?

Yeah, I am a fan. Shocked? Ok yeah, at this point not much would shock you about me right? Well let me tell you why I am a fan. Because he is honest. You don't have to like it, agree with it, or even be able to stomach it...but let me tell you, he is the voice of an entire community of young people in this country. People like me who grew up surrounded by nightmares, poor, independent punks, the quiet intellectual ones and even the pretty young things on the soccer team living in the perfect suburban neighborhoods. He writes about the raw, gutting emotions of adolescence. The pain and doubts in your mind as you struggle with your screwed up life, wondering if you will ever escape. Those who are silently suffering from depression or other mental illness. Those of us with parents who weren't there, or incapable of parenting. Those of us with parents who tried to be the perfect parent or even just wanted to appear to be the perfect parents, but never once listened to angst in our hearts....So many kids grow up without any guidance at the crucial age of adolescence. I did. It created some pretty screwed up thoughts and doubts in my life as a teen. When I was 17 or 18, along came this artist who was just shockingly brutal, blasphemous, scary and controversial....I loved it! (of course) The Alice Cooper of my generation!

Now my hick town is full of metal heads and rock and roll lover's...but this dude was NOT creating fans among the coutry boy metal heads I grew up with. He was a little too poetic and cryptic for them....they needed sex, drugs, and rock n' roll. I hid my Manson fetish and spent many nights listening all alone to this voice who spewed his hatred for society and organized religion in that seductively evil voice. Now let me be clear, I didn't always approve of or agree with the things Mr. Manson has proclaimed in his music or elsewhere....but I loved the fact that he had the balls to say it. Kind of like my love for Larry Flynt, he is one sick f'ker, but damn it I like him! I have the same love for Ted Nugent - who I disagree with on almost every political issue LOL! They just say what they're gonna say and don't give a shit what you have to say about it!

So anyway, back to my rebelious teenage angst...I fell in love with Manson's first album called Portrait of an American Family It represented the inner turmoil of every American child growing up in homes where they were abused, molested, neglected and ignored. The kids who were being bullyed in school and in society. The kids disillusioned with religion as the reality of adult hypocrasy started crashing down on them. Those kids who were outcasts. Then Anti Christ Superstar came out...boy did that cause some controversy! Of course, I loved it!

His lyrics aren't for the faint of heart...some of them are down right sick...but they ring true in the ears of the angry teen. They are empowering and you feel less alone as you realize that somebody gets it. Somebody gets it. Now that statement isn't going to make sense to those of you who enjoyed a beautiful childhood, and God Bless you. And I need to add mine was not all bad I have very fond memories of things in my childhood...but there are nightmares that overpower those memories more often than not. And I became one of these angry, confused teens....Marilyn Manson was my Jim Morrison....

He was my first ever rock concert. It was awesome. There were churches protesting outside the arena, it was insane. At the time I was in a very vacant place regarding my faith and what I believed. I grew up in a fanatically religious home, but of course I was never one who accepted the spoon fed doctrine, I asked too many questions and did too much of my own research (why believe something if you don't really know why), I questioned sacred scripture *gasp*. I was considered rebellious and blasphemous! Having a mother who was mentally unstable didn't help this matter at all of course. I didn't know what I believed anymore...

Ok, so back to the concert...the big stink about this show was that Manson had been ripping up a Bible during part of his performance. That doesn't go over too well in the Bible Belt. There were TV news crews everywhere! I had skipped class to go and I was just sure my English professor was going to see me on TV and would know I lied about a family emergency! (I know..that was just plain bad...) So I snuck in a side entrance...

The show was amazing, the energy was wild, the theatrics were more than Alice Cooper could have ever imagined and the crowd loved it! Yes, he tore up the Bible. Did I cry about it? No. Would I cry about it today if I saw it? No. At that time, and even now, I celebrate that fact that we are allowed such freedom of expression in our country. The fact that he could display his contempt for organized religion and it's man made rules, or that a citizen can burn his flag in protest of the horrible decisions our government has made at times....these are true freedoms. And feeling free enough to do them, with little care or thought of the opinion of others is an awesome thing to me. Maybe I am weird....

Would I ever tear up my Bible? No....it has brought me far too much comfort over the years. Would I care if you tear up yours? No...do what you gotta do...cause I've been in that place in my head and in my heart...and I think freedom of expression is a treasured liberty.

Whoa...you got a soap box full that time huh? And probably about a topic you could care less about! LOL....I guess I'm back!

P.S. I considered adding Manson tunes to my playlist here...but I didn't want to scare any readers away!!! Ha! I wonder where the hell that guy has gone anyway....he'll probably die young...The most brilliant ones always do.

P.S.S. * a few hours later * Ok I added one anyway, it's one you can surely tolerate, probably the most sedate song in his repertoire

Prayers Needed.

The Watermelon has sprouted! My Kochernut baby has arrived....a little girl, born last night, yet to be named. She has been flown to St. Louis with mild complications. Please keep her in your prayers. Mom is scheduled to be released tomorrow so she can join her, Dad is already there. This is not their first baby to make the long journey to St. Louis.

Sexy Back

Ok I am reading this article, on MSNBC.com, (my morning news of choice) about "Feeling Sexy" and that fact that it's all in the mind. Can I first of all say we must be really freakin' short on news stories if this is #3 on the list of links. Anyhoo...I expected to read an article about confidence and how those who are confident and secure in their own sexuality sort of exude their own brand of sexy....regardless of physical flaws like a few extra pounds or limited height (I mean hey, look at Tom Cruise, that boy is 5' 6" with stilettos on, with a big nose and horse teeth...but the crazy MF is dead sexy!) Personally, I was interested in this article because I am of the full figured variety of women. I prefer to think of my body as full of dangerous curves :0)~ but let's face it, when I look in the mirror what I see is the aftermath of motherhood and the lack any personal time to try and fix it. Sometimes I am perfectly fine with how I look, and other times not so much....but I digress. I clicked on this article, assuming it would be an interesting read. It's not. At all. But I did find a few sentences in here that just about made me spit my coffee out....I just had to share:

Whereas lust tends to limit its reach to particular people or stretches of time (and, like hunger, can presumably be sated via fairly standard channels), sexiness is a state of mind. It is inextricably linked to sex as a concept but wholly separate from fornication.

ROFLMAO!!!! Ok, maybe it's just because she actually used the word fornication I really don't know but that line just cracked me up. And I don't know if I agree....deep down we want to feel sexy right. We want someone else to think we are sexy...and if we are honest with ourselves, don't we have to admit that we want those people to think we are sexy so that perhaps for a split second they will think 'I wonder what a roll in the hay with her would be like?' I suppose that is what she means by sexiness being 'inextricably linked to sex as a concept'. But then how is that wholly separate from fornication (God that word cracks me up! I feel like I am at church camp). Unless perhaps there is a difference between sex and fornication for her. In which case I feel sorry for her, poor thing! I hope she at least gets to fornicate every once in a while. LMAO! Ok that was completely uncalled for! This was just the funniest article to read first thing in the morning!! Of course only I would choose the story about sex over the story about Tony Snow dying, bless his heart.

Ok I have to say in her defense I understand what she is trying to say....it just struck me as extremely hilarious. So back to 'Bringing Sexy Back'. Yes it is a state of mind. I have a girlfriend who is not super model gorgeous at all...but since we were teens she has had men falling all over themselves to be near her. This is the girl who has an entire jewelry chest full of baubles collected from various lovers through her lifetime. There is just something about her. Personally, I have always been on the very curvy side, dare I say maybe even just plain large. And I can also say I have rarely been lonely. I know girls far prettier and skinnier than me that can never find a man. But these same girls are also very insecure, with slumped shoulders and timid speech around a guy. I so badly want to teach them how to throw a little switch in their hips and smile...make eye contact!! Guys aren't as 'programmed' as we like to assume they are, only attracted to the Playboy model or the heroin chic thin waifs. I think ultimately humans are attracted to personality. Yes there is the lust factor, we girls see a hot body and think 'daaaamnnn' but then the hot guy opens his mouth and starts blabbing about how hot his car is and one is instantly tuning him out trying to find an escape route....I have heard my husband and many other men make this comment about some very attractive girls we know "Yeah, she's hot until she opens her mouth...."

Sexy ain't all about what your packin' under your skivvies....It's more about what your packin' in your brain! I like to think I am packing a lot in both places. Ha! Maybe a lot more than I'd like in some places....but you work with what ya got right?!

The Swearin' Church Lady

Ok I just have to confess something funny that has occurred on a church committee. Each August our church has a picnic complete with all the things Protestant faiths seem to loathe us Catholics for.....Gambling, Drinkin', Dancin', and shamelessly profiting off the public! LOL! You can come get a big fat fried chicken dinner with all the fixin's, or grab a brat or burger at the lunch stand, play Bingo all day, buy Raffle Tickets for various things...including a pricey raffle that sells $100 tickets for a brand new pick-up truck (limited amount of tickets printed), play games with your kids, listen to local bands and kick up your heels, then head to the beer garden and get your belly full of beer. Praise the Lord and Hallelujah! This picnic is HUGE for us, and after expenses usually garners our parish about $30-$40K each year.

In order for this to work, all parishioners are expected to work a shift. There are many many jobs to fill and it takes every able body we have to get everything done. I am on the committee that assigns these jobs. Our parish has 500+ people so you can imagine what a task this is. In addition to your job, you are expected to bring vegetables from your garden such as cabbage and peppers for slaw and tomatoes for the dinner, and various other garden bounty and home made items for the "Country Store" stand. Also, each woman is required to bring either 2 pies or a cake, depending on the 'Circle' you are assigned to. When a woman in our parish gets married she is assigned to a circle. We have 4 Circles. You are in that circle until they start calling other circle members to bring food to your funeral dinner....you get my drift? So any hoo.....the parish puts a tremendous amount of effort into this. "THE LIST" is highly anticipated (and highly bitched about)...you can never please everyone, so you just do the best you can to try and cover your ass...

Well the cover page to the list always explains which 'Circle' needs to bring what etc....plus it gives specific instructions for the various stands. Now THANK GOD I am not the one who typed this because nobody would have believed it was accident. I am just ornery enough to have done this on purpose....LMAO! One sentence in the cover page reads like this

"First shit leaders should arrive 15 minutes early to prepare their stand."

Now, clearly that is supposed to say "shift"....but that ain't what it says! LMAO!!!

Yes they resent it to the printer....all 300 pages of it are being reprinted. I swear I didn't do it!

Hackin' Up The Headlines

If you caught your morning news you are seeing two big headlines today....first of all the Rev. Jesse Jackson wants to cut Obama's nuts off...well ain't that just solidarity for ya?! Good grief. I am sure there are more people who'd like to see Jackson's nuts dipped in batter, deep fat fried and served on a platter. Oh, sorry, that must be the hillbilly comin' out it in me. Hog balls are a delicacy around here....I just have to say that guy gives me gas. Always has. Always running his mouth....what exactly does he do? Actions speak louder than words. Please correct me if I am wrong, but does this man ever do anything that doesn't involve a camera crew following him around? Isn't his face I always see popping up in the latest racial controversy? Does he actually do anything else when there are no major headlines to be captured? He strikes me as the kind of man who wouldn't spare a dime for a homeless man, he'd be the guy growling "Take a bath hippie" Just my opinion....He certainly is no Martin Luther King Jr.

Then there is the JonBenet Ramsey case....can I just say it's about fuckin' time! It would have been nice for the family to receive this apology from the DA's office before Patsy Ramsey had to suffer an agonizing death from cancer. Yeah...good one guys. Way to go. The woman suffers the horrible reality of having her own child murdered in her own home....the fact that she was sexually assaulted only adds to the horror...then you accuse her and her husband of doing it. Convince a town, a state and a nation (thanks to our fact checking, dirt loving media) that they are guilty...everywhere they go for the rest of their lives...suspicion...now one of them is gone and you finally....FINALLY admit that ya fucked up! Good one boys...that's all I can say.

So yeah, I'm bitchy this morning...can ya tell.

Oh and just a correction from my last post (I am leaving it because, well, it's hilarious) but when I was talking about a flagellation situation....uh yeah, I meant farts...you know flatulence. I just had momentary attack of dumbassitis. But to go from flatulence to flagellation...now that's a doosey!

Bible Character Tag

Sorry I just got around to this!!! I intended to write a ton more about this but it's been sitting in my unpublished posts for over a week now, I figured I might as well just publish it...God knows I can talk more about it later

Here are the rules:

1. Choose a person in the Bible who most represents who you are.

2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration, scripture or bible story if you like

3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post and to this original post if possible so we can track it as it travels across the blogosphere.

4 .Tag five more blogs with links.

5. And don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play!

p.s. If you are not a religious person, please feel free to use classic literature instead.



I haven't seen this one before, I love it!!



The first Bible character that popped in my mind was Bathsheba. She is a fascinating study in sin and forgiveness. I feel as if the life I have led, the decisions I have made, and even the person I am today is still extremely flawed. But I believe in the power of love and forgiveness. Bathsheba is one of those women who is most famous for her sins, but she gave birth to the wisest man on Earth, King Solomon. What a legacy to leave behind for a woman who carried such a scandalous past. God gave her a great blessing as a mother. I feel very blessed to be the mother of two beautiful sons. They feel like a reward and redemption for all the hard times in my life, forgiveness for my sins....blessings from God.

Ok I am not sure about the tags because not all of my linked bloggers are Christian, or Jewish, or believers in my particular holy book of choice...so I am just gonna say if you are reading this and have a blog.....YOU ARE IT! Leave me a comment and tell me about a religious figure or literary figure you most identify with!

My Life In Music

The house is quiet, hubby is out, the kids are asleep and I have been adding songs to my Playlist for my blog....it has put me in mellow mood, as always seems to happen when I have time to listen to meaningful music. Much like reading an emotionally powerful novel it takes my mind to a place that reflects on the past, the present, the future and all the events in my life related to or described by the lyrics and rhythms in the songs. My family is full of musicians, my father, brothers, uncles, nephews and cousins...guitar pickers, bluegrass lovers, rock and rollers and amazing songwriters are all in the mix. No family gathering ever occurs without guitars and a foot stomping celebration of our roots.

I had the urge tonight to post snippets of song lyrics that are the timeline of my life, but this blog would be 5 pages long. Then it occurred to me to just post the song titles. They are all on my playlist, anyone interested could just find the song and listen. However, this blog is really just for me. I don't expect anyone to be all that interested. I just have the need to purge this....there are no words of my own flowing from my brain tonight. No poetry. Nothing new...only things that have already been said. Only the words of these songs, stolen from others and applied to the realities of my life. Songs so significant in my life that many of them stop me in my tracks.

The first being Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd, which describes the descent of my mother's sanity and the feelings I have surrounding her loss. The song was written for Syd Barrett, the bands original singer and songwriter. His friends and bandmates watch him slip into the depths of mental illness at the beginning of their success....they have captured the feeling of loss so wonderfully. I want this song played at my funeral someday. "We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year" Those words seem to sum up my mother daughter experience. Even now that she is gone, I still feel that....year after year.

The second is For You by Stained. I hope that when I my sons are teenagers I have the sense to listen to this song and remember my own childhood. This song just embodies everything I felt as a teenager of a broken home, a victim of abuse, a lost child trying desperately to find a way out of the darkness that was my reality at the time.

The third is Not a Pretty Girl by Ani Difranco. This woman is such an amazing songwriter, every word she puts to paper touches me on some level, but this song is who I am. Once I found myself, became comfortable in my own skin, and decided to forge my own path in life, this is who I became. From the moment I first heard this song I felt like Ani had somehow reached into my soul and pulled out my inner feelings about who I am. Yes I am pretty, or pretty enough...but I don't care about being a "pretty" girl. I want to be the girl you remember because she said or wrote something that affected you in some way...not because she is attractive.

My feelings on politics, government and human rights? Blowing in the Wind by Bob Dylan. 40 years later this song still holds a powerful message that I wish every human on Earth could take to heart.

My family, my roots, my heritage - Leave This Long Haired Country Boy Alone by Charlie Daniels. These are my father's people. Hillbillies. Country Trash. River Rats. Guitar Pickers and Whiskey Drinkers. I love them fiercely.

The soundtrack of those family gatherings often included songs like The Ballad of Curtis Lowe by Lynyrd Skynyrd, Copperhead Road by Steve Earl and dozens of Johnny Cash, Waylon Jennings, Merle Haggard, George Jones and Willie Nelson songs.

My experience with aging - Outlaw Women by Hank Jr. These are my girls. One of a kind. Loud, rowdy, strong, independent and opinionated. Take it or leave it. We have gone from being girls to women, girlfriends to wives, and kids to mothers. There are a handful of us who are still a tight knit group and Hank says it all about who we are.

The memories of being young and free as a teenager...ok don't laugh....Good Ole Boys by Waylon Jennings. Yes it is the theme song to the Dukes of Hazard, but more than that to me, it describes life for the youth of my generation growing up in rural small town America. We got our kicks taking risks and evading the law. We never meant any harm, never created any violence or vandalism, we were just kids with nothing better to do but drink beer, race cars, get crazy and be young. Another song that is an accurate description for my generation of country boys and girls is Fortunate Son by CCR, once again a song that was written for our parents generation seems to hold true, even for my own children.

My life today Small Town by John Mellencamp. He says it all.....

All of these songs....feelings captured in the words written by phenomenal artists. Writers I could only dream of being comparable to. They speak to me in ways that Wordsworth and Lord Byron will never be able to do.

Kids say the darndest things....

So Vacation Bible School has rolled around once again and the nearly 100 youngsters in our Parish are having a blast. I love teaching VBS! I love teaching period, someday I will finish my Bachelor's degree and get my teaching certificate. It is what I was born to do...after being a mother of course.

I teach the 6 year old class and I have heard some of the funniest things this week. Some were not so funny...more like shocking...One comment came about while I was going around the room asking the kids the way their parents showed them that they loved them (hugs, treats, storybooks, special trips etc....) one girl says very matter of factly "My mom's a drunk, but she still cares!!" Auuughhh! What was I supposed to say??? I know her parents, who are divorced and she lives with her dad and wonderful step-mom. I just said "Yes she cares VERY much!"...Good Lord I was not prepared for that one.

Another one that was just hilarious...to me anyway...at the end of the night we were going to say goodnight to our newly made "Puppies" (made from socks I stuffed with rice and sewed shut, then glued on eyes and furry ears etc...the were wrapped in old baby blankets, the kids were in LOVE!) and I asked them what their Mom's and Dad's said to them each night before they went to bed? Of course I am expecting, "I love you," "Sleep tight," "Sweet Dreams" etc....the first thing I hear is someone yelling out "BE QUIET!!!"....I just died laughing! Yes I suppose most of us do have to say that on a nightly basis huh?

But the best one came from my own son, who is almost 4. He informed me that "Jesus is Uncle Frank!"....who is far from Jesus let me tell you...I died laughing thinking 'why would he think such a thing?' and then I remembered that all the images my son sees of Christ are of a man with long hair, and a beard, much like Uncle Frank! LMAO!!! Hubby and I just laughed and laughed!!! Someday the boy and I will have to sit down and I will inform him that the modern day versions of Christ are probably far from his accurate appearance anyway...but I guess that is a discussion that can wait a few years!

Damn It all to Heck!

Didn't my last post say I was sick and tired....yeah...well now I am literally sick and tired. What started out as a mild allergy attack has rapidly evolved into a summer cold, complete with hacking cough, aching body and throbbing head!!! A visit to the Strawberry Patch resulted in 24 pints of jam and an allergy attack!! I hate it when this happens. I am rarely ever sick, and frankly I don' t have time to be!! Ever! But especially this weekend. I was supposed to waitress tomorrow night, but have found a replacement (thanks A!), work at the Bank Saturday morning, cook at the tavern Saturday night and then Sunday will be spent preparing for Vacation Bible School, which is one of my favorite summertime activities! I always teach the Kindergarten class...they are my favorite. That is just the perfect age! Old enough to understand, still innocent enough to be amazed. Everything I do is great to them! I just love it. Now I fear I will be hacking all over them and too miserable to enjoy it!!! Oh and I have a church meeting tonight too regarding a different activitiy I am involved in. I am too busy to be sick damn it!! Lord I am such a foul mouthed church lady.....:0)

My Hillbilly Roots

For the second time in less than a year I find myself obsessed with my genealogy. I started this last fall and then lost the time and will to keep it up. Now my niece has stoked my interest again with her own searching and questions about what I know of our history. It is a fascinating process which requires a good deal of patience. Sifting through records and leads hoping for a connection somewhere. It is especially hard when the family you are researching were poor illiterate farm hands. Even the census records list them as unable to read and write. This means that almost all legal documents connected to my family are at the mercy of someone wielding a pen at the courthouse, or a census taker knocking on doors every 10 years or so. Spellings are changed, birthplaces sometimes listed incorrectly and even birth years are often simple estimations. If I ever sift through all this it will be a miracle.

I am proud of the hardworking people I come from. They were the salt of the Earth, laboring to feed their many children and keep a roof over their heads. There have been scandalous rumors passed down through the generations of outlaws, and a murderer and I have possibly confirmed the rumor that my great great grandfather was a polygamist. Even the census records make note of a 'possible polygamist situation' LOL! Who'd a thunk it?! Me - Miss Liberal minded, live and let live, love and love more...had a polygamist for a grandpa! Guess it runs in my blood! LOL!

I am using Ancestry.com but I would love to hear from others out there who share my passion for genealogy. Any tips would be greatly appreciated. I am having a terrible time finding any records of one of my great grandfather's birthplaces or parents. His death record seems to be the only document that exists for him, and the birthplace listed is incorrect...unless he had no birth certificate...which is highly possible. But right now I am not ruling out anything. I am sifting through census files from across the country. Slowly but surely.....I enjoy every minute of it!

Into the Wild

I have been meaning to blog about this movie for a few days and have never found the time. I had read about it on a few websites, and it has been an inspiration to someone I know. So much so in fact he began a cross country journey of his own. I had to see it!!

If you haven't seen the movie, I highly recommend it. It taps into the core of the human spirit and is a true story about a man who fed his wanderlust to the ultimate extreme. A young man whose ideals and visions for the human race were full of compassion, hospitality and solidarity...in addition to solitude. He had very little use for money, success or recognition. He believed that careers were a '20th century inventions' and that "The core of mans' spirit comes from new experiences". If you haven't seen the movie stop reading here because I might spoil it for you.

This man set off on a journey with no map, no money, no intended course....just the journey of life. To me that alone is an inspiration. Before I had a family I often dreamed of just hopping in my car and just going...drive to wherever end up anywhere. To sleep under a different sky every day until I had satisfied my lust for going. Obviously this little fantasy didn't figure in $4 gas prices LOL! Or how I would fund my journey even in the best of economies. But Chris didn't need money. He traveled by thumb and wisdom. Shed his former identity and named himself Alexander Supertramp. I find this idea not only just completely kick ass, but refreshing as well. Haven't we all wanted to be someone else, just for a while?

His travels eventually inspire him to take on the ultimate human challenge. Surviving Alaska, alone, in the wild with very little equipment to do so. In the end he didn't survive, but perhaps that was his destiny. Not a failure on the part of a fool, as some see it, but the destination of a modern day prophet. The final chapter in the inspiring story of Christopher McCandless.

Just like anything I find interest in, I have obsessively researched this story ever since I saw the last frame of the movie. In fact, I finished the movie at 11 p.m and found myself out here on the computer Googling until 12:30 a.m. The more I read the more my inspiration was dashed and clouded with anger at those who, I feel, misunderstood him. So many chalking this inspiring story up to nothing more than the psychotic downfall of an untreated schizophrenic. This led me to ponder these thoughts.

What if that theory is true? Schizophrenia. Does it diminish the inspiration? Does it change the face of Alexander Supertramp? Does it change this story from an epic journey of self discovery to one of insane wandering with a tragic ending? Not for me. Who is to say why one person's reality is not valid? My mother's illness taught me this one truth...it was real to her.

McCandless was and continues to be such an inspiration to people across the globe. I refuse to let the theory that he was simply insane take away from his genius theories about human life and love, or his spirit of adventure. Did Picasso's illness change his works of art to blobs on a canvas? Did Syd Barrett's journey to madness diminish his mark on the history of rock music? Does John Nash's insanity belittle his prestige as a Nobel Prize Winner?

No.

Regardless of the reason, Alexander Supertramp will forever be one of those people I hold in my soul as an inspiration and an example of how a human life should be lived.

"If we admit that human life can be ruled by reason, then all possibility of life is destroyed."— Chris McCandless

Feeding the Flock

Saturday nights I usually turn in my order pad for an apron and cook at the tavern instead of waiting tables. We always have a large rush after church and spend the next several hours preparing dozens of platefuls of fried chicken, whole catfish, burgers, fries, chops and salads....along with about 100 hundred other combinations. However last night we found ourselves filling box after box of to-go containers to send out to the fields. We have had such a miserable planting season that the farmers dared not leave their tractors even for an hour to clean up and go to church. Women came in one after the other to pick up bags and boxes full of hot meals to deliver to their husbands, sons, daughters, fathers, and perhaps for themselves to eat before they crawled back in the cab and put another row of seed in the ground. Some of these farmers are going on their second and third re-plant of corn this season after the weather washed away their first attempts at success. The rain has delayed the wheat harvest, and the sacks of seed for beans have not even been opened.

There was something extremely satisfying about knowing that the work of my hands was going to provide sustenance for the men and women who labor so hard to feed their families, mine and yours. Life is hard for the small farmer these days as corporate farms have eaten up available ground and tax breaks, and the government favors these big corporations who can contribute to their campaigns and causes. Yet these families just keep plugging along....mostly because they know no other way of life. Around here, the land you are turning and trying to make a living from was most likely the same land your great grandfather turned with a horse and plow. 100 years ago a farmer with land of his own made a very nice living for his family, and perhaps could even be considered wealthy. Today the farmer is too poor to be rich and too rich to be poor. Land = Assets, but Land does not = Cash Flow....financial aid for college students, for example, is not available to these families, even if the profit brought home at the end of the year is less than $20K. It is an impossible predicament...yet generation after generation the keys to the tractor are passed down and another young family throws the dice in the gamble that is the farm.

As my night was ending and I stepped outside for a quick smoke (yes, yes I know...), I watched as a thunderstorm was brewing in the south, fiercely growing and dumping rain on many of the fields that had been once again been freshly planted. I wondered how many of those raindrops hid the tears and sweat rolling off of the face of the beaten down men and women who never give up. They are nothing if not resilient. I am proud to call them my friends and neighbors.

What is a Redneck Anyway?? ~ For my Aussie Pal

Ok, this is for Mum-me...who posed the question "what is a redneck anyway"...see they must not have rednecks in Australia. Some would argue this to be a good thing! LOL! But seein's how I am one...well...I gotta say she's missing out.



Here is what Webster's Dictionary has to say on the matter:

red·neck [réd nèk](plural red·necks) n



1. a taboo term for a Caucasian farm hand in the southern United States, especially one regarded as uneducated or aggressively prejudiced



2. a taboo term for somebody who is opposed to liberal social changes, especially somebody regarded as prejudiced
[From the sunburned necks of those who work outdoors in sunny climates]

Encarta ® World English Dictionary © & (P) 1998-2004 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.



However, I suppose I would define myself much differently. For starters I am educated, open minded, liberal, and far from prejudiced regarding race, creed or sexual orientation. However my parents, and their parents before them were the very definition of this term, right down to the farm hand occupation. To this day my dad uses derogitory terms for people of color, and homosexuals, he is ignorant about politics and social climates, and he drives a lawn mower around town because he has had so many DUI's (Driving Under the Influence -Alcohol) that he is never allowed to obtain a driver's license again. His favorite pastime is sitting in his old john boat on the Wabash River catching catfish and walleye.....he is the Webster's Definition of a Redneck.



My brand of Redneck is much different, in my opinion. For me being a redneck is all about rural life. I live in a very remote, rural community that is far from any real 'town' and is hundreds of miles away from any city. To go shopping at a 'mall', I have to drive at least 2 hours! We farm, we like big trucks and 4-wheelers (ATV's). We like to go muddin', drink beer, have lots of babies, swear a lot, go to church on Saturday evening and go to the tavern Saturday night, loud music, and NASCAR racing. The men tend to chew tobacco and a ton of us still smoke cigarettes, despite the dangers. Our favorite wine comes freshly bottled in a milk jug from the neighbor's basement and moonshine making is a favorite pastime. We eat a lot of our own homegrown food, and entirely too much gravy! Pretty much anything dipped in batter and deep fat fried is considered a delicacy, including but not limited to pickles, mushrooms, okra, cauliflower, cheese, meat, fruits and even candy bars. (yes you read that right....)

You can usually find me out in the yard somewhere, sunburnt and dirty LOL...we are outdoor people. We hunt for fun and fish for leisure. I can shoot a gun, drive a "3 on a tree" stick shift, pee outside if necessary and don't bat an eyelash at butchering our own meat. I can cook just about any meal under the sun - outside! Yes I could make fettucine alfredo over a wood fire if I had too... As teenagers up we drank too much, smoked too much, swam in the river, and wrecked our Dad's trucks. Some of us didn't survive these fast and furious days. We have been busted by the cops at parties exceeding 300 people hidden out in the middle of a pasture field, miles from anywhere...we have ran from them in corn fields and wooded lands and rarely been caught. None of these are things to brag about, but they are truths about how my husband and I grew up.



See there are no community centers, YMCA's, or Youth Outreach Programs here. There wasn't much for kids to do but get in trouble. Hard work was expected out of most of us at home, we worked hard and we played hard...but when it was time to play, the only thing there was to do was load up a cooler of beer and meet your friends somewhere secluded and act stupid! Some of that is changing, or so it seems, and THANK GOD! Because now that I am a parent I don't want my kids doing ANY of the things I did! Lord Help Me! But back in my day (about 15 years ago) this was just how it was.



So that leads me to who I am today. Still that ornery little country girl, but one who has learned a lot of life lessons in my day. We lost some friends on this journey to adulthood and that was hard - we still think of them often and know they are looking down on us. We learned a lot about the kind of parents we wanted to be, and the kind of things we wanted to change with our own children. We have vowed to be more involved in their education and activities. But we took a lot of positive things from our upbringing as well. Around here, you can always count on your neighbor...whether it be something as small as a cup of sugar, or as large as plowing your fields...people around here stick together and help each other out. You always stop for someone on the side of the road, you always take food to people who are ill or have suffered a death in the family, and you respect your elders at all times. We are country folk. Things are simple. We are simple. And yes there are still the traditional bigots. There is still an extreme amount of ignorance. But it has been my experience that even the most 'civilized' suburban communities can be full of ignorant bigots too.



Some of the younger generation in my family call me a redneck hippie. I suppose my peace, love and freedom for all mentality lends to that. I am ok with that. That is a good title for me.



Ok and just one more thing Mum-me...the vocabulary. These are things you will hear on a regular basis in my household. Even though most of us were taught proper grammer in school....we still talk like hill billys!

When ya'll gonna git gone? (when will you be leaving?)

Are yous goin to town? (Are you going to town, or are you all going to town)

Seeins how we ain't got any taters I guess we'll just eat corn (Since we have no potatoes we should just eat corn)

You reckon? ~ as in 'you reckon it's time to git to church?' or 'you reckon we oughtta get goin'?" (means-Do you think...?)

I have a hankerin' for - as in a hankerin' for an apple fritter (I have a craving for or desire for...usually with me it involves FOOD!)

Weather is a constant topic of conversation since it affects the farm and our livelihood. You will often hear my husband say It's hotter than a whore in church or It's colder thana well diggers ass.

I could go on and on and on really...but this blog is long enough. So Mum-me, I hope you have a good picture of an American Redneck now! ;0)

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

I saw an amazing sight on Sunday evening. Several of us were at a party, redneck style of course...mud, 4-wheelers, coolers of beer and the NASCAR race on out in the shed, when all of the sudden it started to rain. The sun was still shining to the west and I knew that a rainbow might pop up if we were lucky. Several of us quickly noticed one developing and then a second one on top of it. Here are some pictures I captured that are just gorgeous!!


It was completely full across the horizon, here is a shot of the other end.
And I couldn't resist capturing a shot of the sunset as the rainbow was disappearing into the wind.


Thank God I'm a Country Girl!

Gay Marriage....my thoughts

I realize this post my offend some of my readers and perhaps even cost me a few. But since I am never one to shy away from voicing my opinion, I feel I must relay my elation regarding the overturning of the Gay Marriage Ban in California! Yay! First of all let me state, I am a Christian, and I realize that traditionally my religion denounces homosexuality. However, while I am deeply spiritual, and very active in my church, I don't feel that I am particularly religious. I think I have blogged about this before. Or maybe that was my MySpace blog...but anyhoo, anyone who knows me pretty much knows I am extremely liberal on these matters. And while I don't intend to sway the opinions of anyone else, no one will sway me either. Let me tell you why.

When I was a little girl, my best friend, we'll call her Suzy, was different than me. While my walls were plastered with posters of Corey Haim and New Kids on the Block, hers were bare. While I spent countless hours preparing myself for my first kiss, practicing on my pillow, my hand, my dolls...and a lot of those posters...she just laughed at me. I was boy crazy for as long as I can remember. My very first boyfriend was in Kindergarten and we were gonna get married and live happily ever after...which lasted for about a month, until I moved to a different town. (Last I heard my first love was in prison these days...nice...I went for the bad boys from the start!) I was always in love with someone! Often more than one at a time! Boys, boys, boys. But not Suzy!

I don't remember when I first learned what the definition of 'gay' was...but I do know that I always knew Suzy was gay. Until 7th grade she never ever spoke of it, but I was her best friend, I knew. I vividly remember the day, one summer, we were sitting outside of our school, we had been playing in the empty parking lot, and she said "Would you still be my friend if I thought I might be gay?" And I can remember stating matter of factly that "I already knew that". She looked at me with such surprise! "YOU DID?" Well of course I did. Perhaps I knew it before she did. And in fact I knew that she was in love with our P.E. teacher, long before she professed it to me. I caught the long stares and giddy excitement when she was around this woman. She had a crush, the same as I had a crush on Scott, Ryan, Eric and Jeremy (all at the same time of course!).

Nobody will ever convince me that this child 'chose' to be gay. Nobody can ever make me believe that this little girl 'chose' a 'deviant' lifestyle....She was born this way. The same way I was born a "Hot Lips Houlihan"...

Now Suzy comes from a Baptist background, her father was even a Baptist minister for a time, although not often in the picture. So Suzy has dealt with deep rooted guilt and shame all of her life, feeling that she was somehow evil and destined for hell. She has gone through more than one period of her life where she has vowed to 'live straight'. However, as a witness to most of these periods, this is Suzy at her darkest, most depressed self. Trying to 'live straight' has nearly killed her a time or two. This is not who she is. And it never will be.

Today Suzy has a wonderful life, far more exciting than mine, in the big city! She has a wonderful companion, a drop dead gorgeous blonde that I am sure most guys would kill for! LOL! And she is happy. She is living the life she was destined to live. I firmly believe this. And as far as my own religious beliefs on this matter, that is an entirely different blog. But my motto is, live as Christ lived. I never saw Christ screaming at, spitting on, or beating a homosexual. I never heard Christ say that love, in any form, is evil. To me, Love is Love. And we should Live and Let Live. And I pray for the day when Suzy can live as a married woman, the same as me, with same benifits and recognition as me.

P.S. I love you 'Suzy!'

Yes Ma'am I am!

I posted recently about the 'coffee cup incident' that confirmed I 'R' indeed a redneck....But tonight I just happened to catch the 20 Greatest Redneck Moments on CMT and nearly died from laughter and embarrassment as I realized just how much of a hillbilly I really am. And it occurs to me that there are people living in L.A. and New York City and other metropolises around the world that have truly never met one of us!! LOL! So let me introduce myself to you as I compare some of these redneck moments....(Good Lord some of ya'll will never read my blog again after this!) to my life.

The first that got me was about George Jones riding his lawn mower to town to get booze because his wife hid the car keys. True Story. This is also true, my 71 year old father does not have a driver's license due to several...several, DUI's in his lifetime (a practice I do NOT condone!) The man is a mess, frankly, but he's still my Dad ~ we all have someone like this in the family...mine just happens to be Daddy. So anyhoo, he has a very old (70's) John Deere lawn mower that he rides 'uptown' (3 blocks) to get to the bar. He suffers from COPD and walking this distance, which is mostly uphill is impossible for him. But the stubborn old coot still finds a way to get to the bar. He does it several times a week. One Sunday morning he called me raisin' 9 kinds of hell because "somebody stole ma God Damn lawn mower!!!" I remember thinking to myself well the joke is on them, who would want that hunk of junk? A few days later he mentioned mowing his lawn and I asked him when he got it back....He hem hawed around for a while before he finally admitted he had been drunk and forgotten where he parked it. He had even gone to the police station to report it stolen that night!! Thankfully he lives in a one cop town (picture Mayberry - he is Otis...) and they just gave him a ride home and told him to settle down....Good Lord....I have passed this DNA on to my children...scary thought!

Then they talked about the song "Redneck Woman" by Gretchen Wilson....and I gotta say, while I prefer old country to the new pop sounds, she hit the nail on the head with that one. I have lived in a mobile home a good part of my life, I drink cheap beer, I buy my lingerie at Wal-Mart, we've left our Christmas lights on all year before, you will find me everyday standing outside in my front yard, barefooted with a toddler on my hip, and I don't give a shit what you think about it. It's who I am...pure and simple. You could pull in my driveway right now, find me sitting here at my desk in my 'granny gown' with hair I haven't fixed all day long, no make-up (I haven't worn make-up since I went to church on Sunday) and my bare feet...I'd offer you a beer and chair.... As the song says, "I ain't no high class broad, I'm just a product of my raisin'..."

And speaking of mobile homes....the invention of the double wide was on the list. Technically I live in one! Yes my dream home, that I am so proud of and have busted my ass landscaping and decorating this year....is a manufactured home. All four bedrooms, 2400sq ft, dream kitchen and all.... It came in on wheels...and I have it all on video tape! They had so much trouble getting it up here on the hill that my husband had to pull out the John Deere 4020 and pull part of it himself! Yeee Haw!! I am not ashamed of that. I have made a damn better life for my kids than I had and that's all that matters. The walls you surround yourself mean nothing compared to the love you surround yourself with. And I think that is at the heart of every true country girl.

They mentioned the Dollar Store on this list too...which kind of cracked me up because I don't shop in there much. Most of it is junk, the toys are all made in China and full of lead paint etc...but you can get great deal on some things here and there. But it got me thinking of my insane ability to stretch a dollar. When in comes to cooking....I can make a $5 meal last for days!! Today I made chicken and noodles. My noodles were homemade, so they cost next to nothing, my chicken was $4 and I only used the dark meat and the back and wings. I saved the breasts and chunked them up for a casserole later. My corn and green beans came from the freezer via last years garden...zero cost (unless you count the buckets of sweat I produce cutting off corn each year), and we had mashed potatoes as well. This meal probably cost $5 maybe $6 total....it fed us tonight, it will feed me, my kids and day care kids for lunch, supper tomorrow night and any leftovers will be frozen to eat later or eaten this weekend as we come and go....that's a hell of a lot of food for $6. Can you even by a burger anymore for $6?? I have found that I am anal about 'making do' in the kitchen. It is the one area of the budget that I know I have a knack for pinching so I try to do my best. All the while remembering that my Grandma had to do that same thing to feed 9 kids in her lifetime.......I was thinking that as I looked at my chicken and noodles tonight...in her house, that would have barely been enough to feed all those boys! Good Lord!

But the best on this list, by far is Faith Hill jumpin' all over the lady who grabbed her hubby, Tim McGraw's crotch! That is totally something I would do!! OMG! When that happened I remember telling my husband 'well HELL YEAH! I'd do the same thing!' It's one thing to be checking out my man...you can even ask for his number, I'm confident in my relationship....look all you want, he's quite the hottie really...but keep your damn hands OFF!!! You'll see a sweet little country girl get mean in a hurry! LOL!!

God I really am a Redneck!! LMAO! I get it honest though. You should see some of my kin from down south. My family came from the hills of Kentucky, poor dirt farmers who feared God and loved moonshine. Now when my redneck father makes the comment that the living remnants of this family tree are 'weird' you know they must be off the charts...cause it doesn't get much weirder than my guitar playin, lawn mower riding, whiskey lovin' Daddy.....at least now his only accidents might be with a stray cat on the sidewalk in the middle of the night....

P.S. I was thinking this as I was proof reading...there are some ways that I am very anti-redneck as well. Much of my generation no longer carries the racial prejudice that our parents did, and still do. Not that there aren't some ignorant loud mouths around, but I for one will never tell a racist joke or consider a person of color any less worthy than me. Nor do I feel gay bashing is appropriate, which seems to be more common among the rednecks here in the Bible Belt...this to me seems to be the ultimate contradiction of being Christian. But I suppose I am of the 'hippie' variety of my class in society. My kids may grow up rednecks, but they will never be hate mongers, no matter what the Bible Thumpers have to say about it...

Big Pimpin'...WARNING~ foul language, explicit content!

So the D.C. Madam is dead....who smells another Marylin?! She's had a lot of government paunch in her purse...so to speak...and you can't help but wonder why a hustler extroidinaire like her would throw in the towel! I mean once a hustler always a hustler right? Speaking as someone who is midly adept at the art of hustling, doing what needs to be done to survive. Not that I had ever resorted to prostitution, but so what if I had? Some people do what they have to do to stay alive...and I am a surviver. SO WAS SHE!! I just know it my bones that woman was murdered to shut her the F-UP! As a fellow survivor - there's nothing in this world that would get me under the ground until the day God tells me to "shut the hell up and come get your wings already, ya loudmouth!" I always have a plan, I can always figure a way out of whatever pickle I am in, and I can always see the light at the end of the tunnel.

And she wasn't just any kind of Madam....Oh No, she catered to the Kings of the hill, the suits, the lawmakers, the ones condemning the little people for our filthy little crimes and afterwards are porkin' Mustang Sally in the Penthouse at the Ritz for $5000 an hour. Why the hell aren't any of them being prosecuted? Why is it only a crime to be a prostitute and not fuck one? If I wanted to go out and shake my money maker (all $20 worth of it ;0) why isn't that my right to do so? It's my body, it's my time, and believe you me these girls don't have to force themselves on anyone. You lay your shit out on the table somebody's gonna come along and lap it up! But who does the time if you get caught?! The girls do! How fucked up is that? She's not the one spending corporate money to get a blow-job! It's not her idea to rack up the credit account at the office with Cristal and cocaine and fuck herself silly for 5 hours....oh no....that's the man with the wiener!! She's just the area of deposit for the wiener juice! She names her price, he makes the juice.

And yes yes, it is a scourge on society, it breaks up families...blah blah blah. The guys who are fucking these girls are gonna find somebody to fuck whether they have to pay for it or not. It's not as if prostitutes are these mythic sirens, luring our honest and decent men into perversion....if they are hookin' up with a prostitute, they already got the pervert fever baby! And so what! I mean I sure as hell wouldn't want my husband doing it, I am not saying that. But the men that are doing this....are doing it anyway. Chances are if you find out your husband has been porkin' a hooker...he's been porkin' everything he could get his hands on...he just decided to get smart and find a no strings attached 'juice deposit machine'.

Ok that is entirely too gross LMAO, but I just couldn't resist. To me, in my mind it's like some kind of cartoon image. Juice Man 5000 ~ New and Improved!!

So back to the Madam, you can't tell me she just threw in the towel. Maybe, but I have serious doubts. And I bet this will get swept under the rug very rapidly thanks to our government controlled media. The FBI was all over this like stink on shit! They are handling it. Sure they are.......

In my very own, liberal, live and let live, redneck hippie, opinion, this woman didn't do anything wrong except run with the Big Dogs!! She should have stayed out of the beds of Capital Hill and it would have been smooth sailing....all the way to bank!

My apologies to my more classy (ie less redneck, foul mouth and shoot from the hip opinions-like me) readers. But I'm just callin' it like I see it ya'll!

Fried Chicken for the Pope.....

Well after I cleaned up the earthquake damage (ie, did the dishes, folded laundry... you know the usual) My mind got back to the whole polygamy custody trial going on down in Texas. You know, at the end of all this, nobody is going to win. To me it's a similar situation to what is happening in Iraq. Serious misjutices, if not violent crimes are being commited to a community of people, by their leaders. So we try to help the victims. But the victims don't know any other way to live. So when we try to teach them (force them) to live like "us" (whoever we are) we further victimize them.....my whole mantra on the Iraqi war has been that it took hundreds of years to develop a Democracy in the United States. Just because we've gotten pretty good at it doesn't mean we can just stomp our combat boots into someone else's land and demand they live the same way...no matter how noble the cause. Good intentions often have horrible endings......and it often takes generations upon generations to filter out these strong rooted beliefs about how one should live. Especially when they are of a religious nature.

Think about it, if you are a spiritual person, or a religious person, or anyting other than agnostic, you try to live a life according to terms that would be pleasing to the higher power you believe in right? That's what these people are doing. I am not saying that it is right...especially the "Joy Book" and marrying of girls right out of puberty. But if we were to find that every single mother and wife on the compound was of legal age to marry and birth children....would this really end? Hell no it wouldn't end because now we (meaning society, media etc) have scarred these children for life. They are indoctrinated to believe one thing...yanked out of their homes, away from their families, all of them assuming this is religious persecution. Already to taught to mistrust all of the outside world....and now I am certain they don't trust a damn one of us! So whether they go back to their compound and continue to live as they have lived before....or whether they get put into foster care and groomed to be 'normal' citizens (this term kind of grates on my nerves...who are we to judge what is normal?) they will never feel comfortable in thier own skin. Their identity has been stripped from them! I fear this generation may someday make us pay...in the same way Waco sympathizers made us pay. Remember Oklahoma City? These children will forever be angry...at us, at their parents, at their religion, at God...who knows but their anger will manifest itself somehow, someday. I would almost put a dollar on that. If my blog still exists in 20 years we shall see...

And I blame their parents, I blame the generations before them, I blame the MOTHERS! And yet I pity the mothers, they are raised to be subservient to the will of men. So they raise their children in the manner in which they are expected. And in reality all women are subservient to some extent. Especially if we are wives and mothers. Let's not pretend we aren't. We carry more of the household burdens (ie earthquake cleanup...you know, dishes, laundry...the usual), parenting burdens, scheduling burdens etc....the only difference is I have the right to stand up and tell my husband to stick the dirty dishes up his arse and do them himself! LOL! And I'll be damned if some 50 year old man would be marrying my teenage daughter (if I had one)!! God had better just bring his holy butt right down here to Southern Illinois and tell me to my face that he thinks that is supposed to happen....cause I ain't believin' it any other way!!! No Warren Jeffs or whoever is in charge now, will decide the fate of my children....my children will be raised to choose their own destiny!

It's funny to me how religious groups need a 'divine' leader. Even us Catholics. And I am convert to the faith...I was raised by a holy roller bible thumpin' mama and had the bible shoved down my throat for years. I left the church as soon as I was 18 and never looked back until I contemplated having a family....then my heart led me. But as a Catholic, there are PLENTY of things I don't fall in line with. My philosophy is there are "God's Laws" and "Church Laws" They are all noble and worth following. However, me personally, I'm only worrying about God's Laws. My salvation is between he and I. And the Pope is an inspiring man of the faith. But I don't believe he is any more divine than my husband is and if he showed up at my door I'd invite him in for some Fried Chicken and Mashed Taters....*Shock, Horror* *she wouldn't really do that would she?*

Damn straight I would, oh that reminds me I got to get to work on my lesson plans for VBS and the workers list for the church picnic! I am busy little non-conformin' Catholic! LOL! If I'm lyin' I'm dyin'! I love my church. I just don't believe every little detail....but I love it just the same!

Religious Insomnia Ramblings

I can't sleep tonight, so yes once again I am talking to myself. I just finished watching the new Elizabeth movie...can't remember the exact title but it was very good. I have a passion for Elizabethan and Victorian era stories, true or fiction. And not the Harlequin Romance kind of crap...give me Jane Austen any day. But back to the movie...

It amazes me how society never really changes. Never. We make progress in industry, we make progress in education, we make progress in science. But in every 'civilized' society that has ever existed we war in the name of our chosen God. All we have heard in the last 7 years are about the radical Muslim sects, out to destroy our heathen country. Well, they believe they are acting in the name of God. They believe this is what God has asked of them. Sounds ridiculous huh? Just about as ridiculous as the Catholic religion slaughtering millions since it's inception in the name of God. I am a Catholic. I have chosen this religion for the sake of my family. And I find great comfort in many of it's rituals and traditions. My spirituality on the other hand is certainly a home spun brand all it's own. And when I look back on the sins of my own faith....sins that they have since had to account and apologize for...I think, "who are we to judge?" In the 2000 years since Jesus Christ died, the Catholic church has been responsible for the assassination of leaders, slaughter of communities and torture of civilians who refused to bow to their particular brand of "God". The burning of free thinking women, burned alive at the stake for all the world to see, in the name of heresy....all in the name of God.

Has the human race really progressed at all? If we must war, why can't we war like the tribes in the Amazon, for food, for land, for survival. Oh wait, we've already taken everybody's land and sucked up everybody's resources....I forgot. Nope, can't war over that.

If you see the movie, you will see why this sparked my these thoughts.....but how can Christians, especially Catholics, really point fingers at these 'crazy Muslims', when we once were thirsty for blood in the name of Christ. I am certainly NOT condoning their behavior. It's ridiculous and ludicrous....but it's not a new phenomenon by any means. How quickly forget the sins of our forefathers.