Hello Again!!

Well it seems as if there is some renewed interest in this blog! I have received some e-mail request for my private blog and those invitations will be sent out this morning I promise. To some of my old readers who didn't follow me into my own private world I guess I should update you on me these days. As usually I am a mixed bag of drama...you know we can't ever have any fucking peace and quiet. My bipolar disorder is well under control finally, which is awesome! I have only had the lightest of swings, the highs which kick in my creativity even more and the lows that just make me a bit blah and bury my nose in a book.

The bad news is I have developed a bladder disease called Interstitial Cystitis...I let you wiki that cause it's too complicated to explain but it is very painful and has severely limited my mobility. It also severely limits my diet....SEVERELY. I have lost 80 pounds. Normally one would celebrate this (Yay! I secretly am - weighing less than I did when I got married just rocks in my book!) but my husband and doctors are not pleased. The weight came off rather rapidly in the beginning which caused it's own mixed bag of health problems. But I am making the effort now to maintain the weight I am at. Especially until surgery time which is August 10th. I need to be as healthy as I can for that. Ok boys cover your eyes cause it's girly stuff but I am having a hysterectomy, a TVI bladder implant and a bladder biopsy. Once we get the biopsy results we will know how to further proceed with bladder treatment. So far all treatments we have tried have only been mildly effective. Unfortunately some people never get relief from the pain....wonderful. Pain meds tend to increase my depressive side, so I try to avoid them. A heating pad works the best, but words ofo warning if you use a heating pad 24/7 (I know I know but you don't understand the PAIN) You develop lovely purplish brown splotches all over the skin. Internal burns. They don't hurt, so I continue doing that but I know it's horrifying to look out. Supposedly it WILL go away if I give up the heating pad for a month or two.

The kids are going great, the oldest starts Kindergarten this year. I have mixed emotions. Part of me is ready for him to be gone all day (bad mommy) just to ease some stress but part of me is shocked that I actually have a child in school! Real school!

So you might ask how have I been occupying my time?? Don't laugh....ok you can laugh. Twitter!! I am heavily involved in a role playing series for The Anita Blake Vampire Hunter Series if you are familiar with it. It started out as creating a character for myself that is intended to be prototype for a novel I am working on. HOWEVER, it boomed, and in true Jada fashion I had go overboard. I secretly play several characters in the series. Including a bisexual vampire, a gay man, two lesbian werewolves and wereleopard.....he they don't call me crazy for nothing :0)~ But on the flip side it keeps me writing everyday without have to put a lot of effort into it. It is spontaneous but not as stressful as trying to create the art that is piece of original fiction. It's almost like cheating...reading the Cliff notes instead of reading the book. I get to write on a daily basis with very little effort or brain power on my part. I just write what comes to me and what is appropriate to my character. My favorite character by part is a completely slutty wealthy woman...who secretly has a big heart and a horrible childhood. My therapist says I "get my inner freak on" with her. She's right!!! I love it. And she is a huge part of me. Just not a part I can freely be...

Ok this is probably a page long by now, but you know how much I like to talk. The offer still stands as in my previous post. tryingtosurvive101@gmail.com is the place to request an invitation to the private blog. Tell me who you are, a little about yourself and why you are interested in my blog. Most of my readers followed me there, but if you are just stumbling upon this old blog for the first time and enjoy it, drop me a line and I'll let you deeper into the REAL me. Bwaahahahahahah!

Hungry Hypo Hippo

Well it's definately full on hypomania time in this house. I have been laying in bed since 4 a.m. trying not to get up, knowing I need some rest. I have boundless energy and feel really great today...the problem is, now I know there is going to be a crash invovled....ugghh. When will it hit? Probably tomorrow when I work two jobs. I think tomorrow night will be my last night working at the tavern for a while. I can't handle it. I hate that too because it was my one night 'out'. Even though I was working I got to see all my friends....yes all my friends hang out in a tavern all weekend LOL...

I am getting ready to make my coffee for the morning, which I don't need but I know I will have a massive headache if I don't drink. Today will be a productive day if nothing else LOL! I could tell last night I was cycling into a shift. I think my menses are playing a big part. I have been mildly manic all week but today I am ready to conquer the world! But now that I know what I am dealing with I will resist my Joan of Arc impulse and just conquer the kitchen full of apples I have....

Yes MORE apples! When we went to the orchard yesterday I just couldn't resist buying one more peck I thought, well an Apple Crisp and some more Apple Butter would be good, of course there will be apple jelly from the juice of the butter! So....I will keep myself busy doing that during naptime. I am taking the kids to the park today, and to Wal-Mart. I have to find a sewing needle...

My needle broke on my sewing machine last night!!! AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!! Just when I was on a roll making these adorable little handbags that I am going to start selling. I had finally figured out how to make a square bottom bag (never one to read any directions or follow a pattern, I had to just figure it out myself LOL) and then clink the needle was gone. Damn it....

Going to go eat some more apple crisp....yumm...I am going to be as big as this house if I don't stop baking!

Couches in Heaven

Going on filed trip to see some apple trees
To learn about the blossoms and the birds and the bees
Ain’t it just a fine time,
Finally get to go somewhere
Find out the elastic is shot in your underwear

Yes it was a Pre-K field trip today, and YES I was pulling my underwear up all day. I hadn’t noticed that they had apparently seen better days when I got dressed this morning. Ugghhh. So anyhoo apple picking and a “Mommy Date”, it was a great day. River and I went to McD’s where I tried to be as patient as I could as he slowly ate….one French fry at a time….dipping each bite in ketchup….checking to make sure each bit had the proper amount of ketchup….re-dipping if it didn’t. I eat like a NASCAR driver drives on the interstate, I just can’t help it. I think I am so used to eating on the run or scarfing down meals to tend to other things that I forget there are times when I can just relax and actually taste my food.

So River has been asking a lot about death lately. I was expecting this. We recently put autumn flowers on my Mother’s grave and he desperately wants to understand the concept. Where is she? Why is she not here? Why do we go to that place? (cemetery) I have been prepared for this and figured I would try to handle it as nonchalantly as I can. I tell her she is in heaven, she doesn’t live in this world anymore. I tell him the cemetery is just a place where we put pretty rocks up to remember them and we put flowers on it to keep the rocks pretty. I figure once we have to face an actual burial I will get into the rest of all that, but for now no way, he worries too much as it is. He asks the funniest questions about Mom and heaven:

Does she have legs?
Is it hard to walk there?
Do they have chairs?
Is she a little girl there?
Can she eat hot dogs?

I always try to answer in the best way I know how.

Yes she has legs just like me and you.
No it’s not hard to walk there.
Yes they have chairs, I bet they even have couches and rocking chairs and bean bags.
I bet she can be whatever she wants to be in heaven. If she wakes up one day and wants to be a little girl she can be.
I bet she can eat all the hot dogs she wants.

His answer to all of these……."They have COUCHES there???!!!! That’s SUPER COOL MOM!"

The real couch session

I saw my therapist for the first time today (not to be confused with my shrink....few are privileged enough to need both but of course I've always been er, um, special) and I love her! She's awesome. Any chick who gets a tattoo to celebrate her 60th birthday is a rockin' chick in my book. We've been through many of the same experiences in our life and I can tell we see eye to eye on a lot of things. The only word that kept coming to mind after our session was 'smooth'....even the car seemed to drive smoother on the ride home. I felt so calm and purged. It was marvelous.

And she really has a couch! Two actually, a couch and a love seat...they are deliciously fluffy and the atmosphere is like that of a spa, not a stuffy doctor's office. I almost expected someone to come in and start working on my chicken feet and hooker knees while we chatted.

I can tell she is someone I am going to be able to be completely honest with. I need that in my life. And there are demons in me that need to be vomited out and kicked down the drain, even if I have to used a stick to do it....I think she can help me with that. I am very excited about working with her. Now my only problem is childcare for my sessions. Any volunteers??? It's becoming an issue between River having 'parent' activities at school and me seeing a shrink AND a therapist, AND working at the bank AND working at the tavern. I am wearing out my favors with the mother in law......I have to figure out some solutions. That is my current issue to obsess over at the moment.

Let the obsession begin.....

Idioms you Idiots!!

Idiom: an expression whose meanings cannot be inferred from the meanings of the words that make it up

Let's just examine this whole pig with lipstick bullshit....I am going to give you a list of idioms and put them into context of the Presidential Campaign....then I am going to give you the media reaction to said phrase...mostly because I am avoiding housework ..... and a nerd. Now before I start this let us get one thing straight. These are potential phrases....I support Barrack Obama, I don't care how freakin' hot Sarah Palin is....LOL!

A Dime A Dozen
Politicians like John McCain are a dime a dozen
Media response = Insult to McCain as a washed up political hag.

A Leopard Can't Change His Spots
Obama talks about change, but a leopard can't change his spots
Media response = McCain campaign referring to Obama as an animal and not a human being.

Son of a Gun
Joe Biden sure is one Son of Gun
Media response = Has the Democratic ticket changed their stance on Gun Control???? Scandal!!

Third times a charm
It seems the Republican Party thinks the Third time is the the Charm...maybe they will get it right this time.
Media Response = Obama campaign slams Bush and McCain in one fell swoop!!!

Smell Something Fishy
Sarah Palin appears to be the pitt bull of this campaign but something smells fishy
Media Response = Obama campaign slams Palin's personal hygiene (ok uncalled for but it was just screaming to be written...forgive me Lord, that was rude)

Pig In A Poke (means a deal that is made without first examining it.)
McCain sure is a pig in a poke over his VP choice
Media Response = Now Obama calls McCain a PIG too!!!

Don't Look A Gift Horse In The Mouth
The RNC couldn't look a gift horse in the mouth regarding the VP choice of Sarah Palin!
Media Response = RNC chairman calls Sarah Palin a Horse!!!

Cock and Bull Story
The media has created this cock and bull story about Sarah Palin passing off her infant son as her daughter's.
Media Response = Well we got the cock part right...she's knocked up! (Oh Lord I apologize again...sometimes I just can't resist)

All Bark And No Bite
Sarah Palin is all bark and no bite when it comes to environmental protection
Media Response= Obama campaign accuses Palin of barking at tree huggers....

Yes yes, these are jokes, I made them up, but geez people. Have we forgotten that millions of women in Africa are being gang raped everyday? Billions are starving. Soldiers are dying? Who gives a flying fuck if Obama used a common phrase like a pig in lipstick...a phrase by the way John McCain used himself last fall! I hate the media!

Depakote Day 2 1/2

Well I think the Depakote might be a much better fit for me.....but it's early. I said the same thing the last time in the first two days into the new drugs....it's kind of like dating. You get all oooey gooey over someone, think maybe this could be the ONE... then you realize all he ever does is talk about himself! LOL! I knew I would be going through this 'dating' process with the meds....it was the thing I dreaded most. I hope this one finally sticks.

I have tons and tons of opinions on politics lately but can't seem to find the time or gumption to write about them. Maybe today I will have time and be inspired. But can I just say that the whole 'lipstick on a pig' thing just cracks me the hell up. Get over yourself people. Sometime someone is going to say "Well that's the pot calling the kettle black" about Obama and it's gonna be "oooooooooh he/she's a racist! I can't believe they said that!" and we will be hearing about it for weeks....it's an expression folks. Get over it. I could list a ton of them that if taken out of context could be considered extremely offensive.....now that sounds fun, maybe I will do that today :0)~

Blue Balled Bull

They must have moved our Bull's favorite cow. He stands every evening on the hill at the fence staring over at the pasture across the road. Sometimes he hollars for her and other time he just stands there quietly. He has other cows to 'dance' with here, but they must have stolen his best girl. She's probably already knocked up. It's funny to watch him.

If I am out there smoking on the porch, when I can sneak out, he stares at me as if to say "Those things are gonna kill ya lady!"....I want to ask him "Yeah, so will blue balls!" at least that's what teenage boys think! LMAO!

The Interview

*theme to Rocky playing in the background* Ok so I had the interview for the new job yesterday. I threw on some decent clothes after cleaning the kitchen and mopping the kitchen floor...nothing like a little sweat to go with your lip gloss...I figured it would give me that youthful glow....LMAO!

So on the drive there it occurs to me that I am not a bit nervous. Why? Because I have never interviewed for a job that I did not get. My confidence and personality can usually get me in the door to any place I have wanted to go so far.... So perhaps I walked into this a bit arrogant....or grandiose in BPD speak LOL! Well the interview went fabulous! However there are many more applicants, and many who have more education than me.....so I am not going to hold my breath. :0( But I told the interviewer (who I know quite well anyway) that I AM the person for this job, I am perfect for it , don't tell anyone I said this....ssssshhhhhhhh.... she kind of agreed!!! Yay! BUT IT'S NOT UP TO HER! It's actually going to be up to the state....so we shall see.

One very exciting aspect of the job, should I get it is that I will get to go away for a week....a WHOLE WEEK by myself, stay in a hotel, have my meals paid for, hotel paid for, and attend training seminars. It looks like it might be Chicago which would be fabulous! I've never been there. I plan on getting my country butt out to see the city! And I know this sounds nuts, but for me, getting to do it sans family is just a dream....I can do what I want, when I want, eat where I want, sleep when I want (well within reason of course) but just to be ALONE for a while sounds like heaven. She asked me "I know your kids are young, is this going to be a problem for you" it was all I could do not to say "HELL NO! Can I leave today?!" In reality I know I will have a hard time being away from the kids that much, I didn't last more than 2 days on our anniversary trip...... but to have some time to myself sounds like a dream! And I think it would do Daddy some good to see what it's really like to do the bulk of the work around here! Although I am sure he will just ask his Mommy to do it....

If they should decide they are going to consider me for the job I will get called for a second interview. Keep you fingers, toes, and nose hairs crossed! I want this job! I am perfect for this job, and it is perfect for ME!

For that matter how about the FLILF

I last wrote about Sarah Palin, but I would be derelict in my psuedolesbian duties if I left out Cindy McCain huh? Good Lord she is the ultimate Barbie doll...which actually makes me hate her :0)~ But she's hot.....I shouldn't have left her out in my last post.

It's like the Playboy Ticket. In fact I think that's what I am going to call it.

For the record Obama has my vote...even though his VP choice measures about a 2 on the hotness scale...Obama on the other hand...hmmmm....I have to say he measures about an 8, he's kind of a hottie don't ya think?

Oh the things I think to write about at 6 a.m......

The VPILF

I read the funniest thing on a blog I discovered today....about Sarah Palin being bow chicka wow wow hot! This from a straight gal. I have to say I am in agreement. Good Lord that woman is fine....I'm supposed to hate her, I am a liberal to the core...LOL...but there's something about that hot librarian thing she's got going on. I just keep waiting for her to take the pin out of her hair, throw her glasses to the crowd and start stripping around the pole that would miraculously ascend from the stage of the RNC.....

Can't you just see it now....I am hearing the tunes of "Hot for Teacher" in the background....Can't you just picture it?

Check out this blog it's funny as hell! Sweetened Taters

That's Right! I am the MAN!!!

Not to be confused with I am a man because that would be an entirely different blog, requiring a whole other cabinet full of medicine...but anyhoo....

I was be bopping around the kitchen, trying to relieve some anxiety. I am anxious about the possibility of a new job and I think I am made more anxious by a scheduled increase in my meds. So I am cooking. Cooking is cathartic for me....especially baking pies...and let's face it, eating them might as well be tranquilizer in a bottle so tonight it's rhubarb. It's just as easy to make two as it is to make one so I made two, one for my neighbor, who unknowingly rescued me from a dinner disaster!

I was planning ahead, thinking spaghetti would be quick and easy and I could use it for lunch tomorrow and supper Saturday night when Daddy has the kids and I am working at the tavern....hamburger made, water boiling, ready to go....no pasta sauce...what's a girl to do? I scour the cupboards. Tomato soup, homemade juice and stewed tomatoes is all I've got! Hmmmmmm...what the hell we'll give it a whirl...so with the help of my neighbor's recent gift of fresh dried oregano and basil, two cans of soup, 1/2 a quart of juice, a can of stewed tomatoes, a little onion powder, garlic powder, salt pepper, and sugar I made some damn fine pasta sauce!!!! The kids LOVED it......Yes folks, I am the Man!!!

Redneck Beauty Spa

Well I just enjoyed a long luxurious hot bath...alone. That is rare. Usually I have two little yahoos splashing me and blowing bubbles in my face. I have the house to myself for about 45 minutes and took advantage of it by soaking in the tub.

I don't have a radio in my bathroom and had been listening to my iPod Shuffle....I thought of an ingenious way to keep listening to it while I soaked in the tub....I clipped it, and the cords...in my hair!!! LMAO Talk about Redneck Engineering! By God, if there's a will there's a way! It was awesome, I listened to tunes while I scrubbed away my hooker knees and rooster feet, shaved my legs and just sat...and sang. I love to sing. Alone anyway.

I just had to pass that along....it was quite a sight...but hey the relaxed result was well worth the ridiculous rigging!

Ok former 80's teens

Tell me the truth girls...with your frosted jeans and big bangs....secretly we all wanted to be Jesse's Girl didn't we? Hot boyfriend, whose best friend has the hots for us.

And fellas....you know you wanted to be Jesse, making all the guys jealous with the babe on your arm!!!

The kids and I were dancing around the kitchen to this song earlier (with obligatory air guitar of course...and some towel swinging for grand effect) and I was having childhood flashbacks. God I love that song...even now! LOL! Funny how a simple song can change the whole day.

Random Musings from The Pastoral Princess

I was sitting outside this morning on my porch drinking coffee and smoking my one cigarette of the day with a slight tummy ache. This led to several humorous random thoughts that I thought my readers might enjoy.

Don't you hate it when you have this awful gas pain, and then you finally feel like you can fart and all that pain resulted in one teeeeeeny weeeeeny little toot?

Don't you hate it when you are so groggy in the morning that you don't get the coffee filter in the pot right and then you get little coffee grounds in your cup?

Don't you hate when those coffee grounds get stuck in your teeth because you are so desperate for the caffeine that you drank it anyway?

Don't you hate it when you find out in the morning, as your husband is making his lunch that you left the mayonnaise out overnight?

Don't you hate when your husband won't talk to you over something as stupid and spoiled mayo?

Don't you hate it when you have to get your kids out of bed for school....when you'd much rather stay in bed yourself?

Don't you love it when your kids throw their arms around you and bury their little heads in your neck?

Don't you hate it when you realize there is snot running down your shirt from the adorable little snuggle?

Don't you love it when your husband does the dishes?

Don't you hate it when this accomplishment requires 3 days worth of praise and recognition?

Don't you hate it when your toddler is in your lap and says "I farted!" only to realize that said 'fart' is running out the diaper onto your jeans?

Don't you love finding little gifts in the carpet from repeated 'farting' episodes?

My favorite gripe is hearing my husband brag about my writing, which should make me feel good.....he's never read a single word I have written except notes to him.

My favorite joy is when someone else tells me they love my writing....who faithfully checks in everyday.

Don't you hate it when the phone rings and the person on the other end says "Could I please speak to Jeeeda....or Joda.... or whatever your name is pronounced completely wrong? This always results in a CLICK!

Don't you hate it when you donate to the State Police after 911 and they've called you every f'n day for the last 7 years for more money....even when you tell them to stop?

Isn't it odd how some flowers that are absolutely beautiful smell like a bad fart?

How can something as wonderful as fresh cooked bacon make such a stink in your house for a week?

Is there really anything tastier than a fresh garden tomato with a bit of salt?

Why do they call a driveway a 'driveway' and not a parkway? Why do they call a parkway a 'parkway' and not a driveway?

Doesn't it drive you nuts when people say "I could care less" when they really should be saying "I couldn't care less" if they are trying say they don't really care?

Don't you hate people like me who are a stickler for grammar? :0)~

Isn't it odd that for someone with a stickler for grammar I still say ya'll, ain't, cain't, mater, tater, over the shoulder boulder holder, and 'that's neater than a skeeter's peter!"?

Have a great day folks! I am going to sew sew sew today!

Hail to the Domestic Goddess of Words and Weeds

No no not that kind of weed...LOL! I did something today that my husband would have squawked and had a fit over! I used the weed eater! He has been working very late each night because they are short handed where he works and the yard work just wasn't getting done. Well he and I kind of have this arrangement...it goes like this, I am not allowed to do the yard work, which I bitch and moan about, but secretly am glad I don't have to do it. Just like he thinks he is not allowed to do laundry or dishes, but unbeknownst to him I would would be thrilled if he traded in his lawn mower for dishpan hands!

We are having family pictures taken tonight and I decided to have the photographer come here to our house so we could have pics taken outside and on our porch. We have two ponds and lots of acreage so there are many many places to stage photos for the kids. However the weed situation was getting out of control! Sooooooo I took my little country butt out to the garage and found the weed eater. I read the instructions on how to start it...and then re-read them. And then I fired her up and off we went....shredding the life out of the cocky weeds who had taken over my yard!!! I felt like Superwoman...

Yes I live a sheltered life.

I am happy to report that not only did I NOT injure myself or anyone else...but that I did a pretty damn good job too! The place looks great. But can I just say my hands shook for like 2 hours from all the vibration (you'd think I'd be used to that *wink wink*) and my forearms are killing me!!! I used muscles I didn't know I had!

The Other Life...on the Dream Side

The meds I am taking seem to produce very vivid and realistic dreams everynight. Some of them are funny, some are strange. Some are even sexy. I could write some odd little collection of short stories based on my intoxicated dreams lately.

Last night was a doozy. I can't really tell you about it. You'll just have to use your imagination. It involved sex...and not with my husband...hey I can't control my dreams right? But I woke up this morning still reeling from the consequences of the dream....pregnancy. I thought for about 10 seconds after I woke up that I really was pregnant and didn't know how I was going to tell my husband. Then I chuckled at myself. I think if you looked up Drama Queen in the dictionary I would at least be the 4th definition.

Good Morning Folks! How was your dream life last night?

A little ditty

I could grumble about my husband
But I won't
I could tell you I feel chipper
But I don't

I could say to you,
How do you do?
I could act like I care
When you say "Oh I'm fair"

I could write about Obama,
And my fondness for his wife
I could bitch about conservatives
But I couldn't care less tonight.

I could growl about my health
And the hand that I've been dealt
But I know there's those far worse
And my piddly problems just make them curse.

I could write a little ditty
About travelling to the city
Esacping my life
A terrible wife.

I could write you a song
I could sing all night long,
Of the giggles and grins
Of my beautiful children

But instead
I am off to bed
Too tired to grumble
Or muble
Just stumble.
Too tired to write
Though I'm feeling contrite
Too tired to sing
Too tired for anything.
But thanks for stopping by,
Next time I will try
To actually care
If you are only doing fair.

Dr. Dan the Man

Well it's official. And it is Bipolar. Bipolar II to be exact, less severe than Bipolar I which is a good thing. I really like my Doctor...we'll call him Dr. Dan. Who at the moment is known as Dan the Man...mostly just cause I like the sound of it, but also because I feel relieved and hopeful about the future. There's a lot of work to do, and we will be trying out new medicine, which might be a journey all it's own. But tonight I feel confident that someone who knows what they are doing is taking charge of my care. No offense to my family practitioner, he is awesome as well...but in his own words "I ain't that kind of doc!".

So Dr. Dan listened to me jabber on and on about my life for a while.....funny how when you try the hardest not to sound crazy your words start spitting out of you like a machine gun and you sound like a raving lunatic. I have had some trouble in the last few weeks speaking my thoughts clearly. Dr. Dan said that is caused by one of my meds....that med is going and another is being reduced. Maybe I won't feel like such a foggy mess by this time next week.

Oh and by the way there was no dark velvet couch...however...there were comfy velveteen chairs. Ha! I almost laughed out loud when I walked in.

Anyhoo, Dr. Dan gave me some interesting facts about Bipolar Disorder. He said that 9 out of 10 patients who are diagnosed as having BPD are actually misdiagnosed. But he said "You, my dear, are a classic true case of Bipolar II"...ok he didn't say 'my dear' that was simply for dramatic flair...:0)~

He also took the time to bring my husband in and help me reinforce the facts about BPD and the fact that I have no control over the mood swings. I was able to express to my husband in a neutral environment how hard it is on me to swing from one end of the spectrum to the other. I am not totally convinced that he will heed all the advice and facts, but at least he has been given them. I can only control myself, I am done trying to smooth things over for everyone else. I have my hands full with my own crazy ass right now!

Stay tuned...we're in for an interesting ride.

Oh just a funny note to make you chuckle. My two year old was watching me get dressed for bed tonight and he said "Mommy...I see your nickles!!" I wanted to tell him he will be fascinated with those damn things (nipples) for the rest of his life! MEN.....

Ramblings of a hypomanic vacation packer

So clearly my mania is kicking into high gear over this whole weekend vacation deal. All I really need to pack is a swimsuit and some underwear…or maybe just the swimsuit…but my brain is going 100 mph with the following random thoughts.

Have to pack my skillet…their cookware will surely be crappy
Baked Potatoes or Sweet Potatoes?
Find Hubby’s swimsuit
Sunscreen
A jar of strawberry jam from the freezer
Make cinnamon rolls?
Make brownies?
Make a pie?
Buy cinnamon rolls even though mine taste better?
Buy brownies even though mine taste better?
Screw the pie, I’m fat enough….
Pillows! Must take my own pillows….
Get a raft to float on.
Find some books in my collection I haven’t read yet.
Maybe grab a few old standbys I can read over and over
Maybe Ya Ya's
What to do about the cat?
Steaks or Chops?
Shave legs
Maybe take that bottle of Cruzan we bought in St. Thomas 4 years ago and finally open it
REMEMBER MEDS!
Should I make some dipshit? (our favorite cheeseball recipe)
Are there enough veggies in the garden to take for salad?
Make some homemade bread?
Stop coming up with more things to bake!
Will my period be over by then?
Do I even have a sex drive anymore?
Maybe my meds are doing that….
Sex toys! (Oh sorry, probably way TMI!)
REMEMBER MEDS!
Do laundry and clean house before we go….
Take camera?
What if it rains?
Eggs….oh and bacon…
Mmm tomatoes….BLT ~ two meals taken care of! Yay!
Miracle whip...can't have BLT without Miracle Whip
Why am I a lunatic who has to plan everything down to the tiniest detail.

It’s less than a 48 hour vacation people!!!!! Why do I have to be such a FREAK about everything? This is only half the stuff going through my brain this afternoon. All I really need to do is toss some undies in a bag with a loaf of bread and some bologna and GO RELAX…but no…I have to be Martha Stewart about everything…geeez…I need a vacation! LOL!

A weekend getaway!

Hubby and I will be celebrating our 7th wedding anniversary on Monday....he decided we needed to go somewhere. Not just out for dinner and a movie blah blah blah but GO SOMEWHERE. I was tickled! Yay! Escape! No poopy diapers and whining and crying and fighting! Although, you know me, I can't bear to be gone too long or too far....so I found us a cozy little cottage on a lake an hour away from here! We totally can't afford it, but absolutely need it....LOL Story of my life!

I actually haggled the guy down quite a bit on the price...I explained we don't have a boat and will not be using the boathouse etc etc etc....and I told him we could easily spend a weekend in St. Louis for the price he was asking....(lie...ok maybe if we stayed at the Best Western and ate PBnJ all weekend). And of course my final kicker was my offering price was better than making NO MONEY because the cabin was going to sit empty all weekend....He took the bait. Damn I'm good! That or I'm just a bitch...either way I saved $100!

Here is the cabin, nothing fancy, but it looks like heaven to me....peace and quiet. I am going to curl up in that hammock with a good book for most of Saturday!

Here is the view of the lake from the cabin. It has it's own sandy beach so we can swim and the upper level of the boat house has a swing on it so we can sit out there and just watch the water. We have some friends who summer at the lake too so we are going to hang out with them a bit and do some boating, preferably the slow trolling around the lake kind of boating, while consuming large amounts of fruity tequila spiked drinks. I am so excited to get away! And super excited that we won't be that far away.

Although can I just say the weekend I was starting to plan for us was actually in St. Louis and Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band are playing Saturday night?!!.......Yes I gave up tickets to see the Boss for this lakehouse.....I must be in desperate need of solitude....the old me would have NEVER EVER EVER done that! But I knew if we went to the city I would not relax, I would go go go go go go go until I couldn't go anymore, cause that's just how I am. I drive my husband nuts when we go to the city. And I've seen Bruce before....and I suppose my absence won't affect his performance in the slightest....although he may sense a small nagging loss at my not being there......

Ha! I wish!