Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Hello, It's Me Again.

I am feeling so much more like me again. There are side effects and fuzzy things to deal with, memory loss, concentration issues etc...but lets be honest, if you know me in real life that's always been a problem, it's just a little worse right now. I smoked my short term memory years ago in a desperate attempt to escape my realities, and well who the hell can concentrate on anything with two toddlers...I mean really?

I am writing with a grateful heart tonight. I feel myself being reborn. I certainly have a long row to hoe....there are new skills to learn and I have to take better care of myself. I will deal with the ups and downs of this for the rest of my life...but I feel like the epicenter of this nightmare is finally behind me. These meds are working, despite the side effects.

I am currently listening to a song that touches me in 1000 reminds me of someone, it reminds me of me, it reminds me of life and all human relationships...and it has the most beautiful words I wanted to share it with you:

The Space Between
You cannot quit me so quickly
There's no hope in you for me
No corner you could squeeze me
But I got all the time for you, love

The Space Between
The tears we cry
Is the laughter keeps us coming back for more
The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep safe from the pain

But will I hold you again?
These fickle, fuddled words confuse me
Like 'Will it rain today?'
Waste the hours with talking, talking
These twisted games we're playing

We're strange allies
With warring hearts
What wild-eyed beast you be
The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep safe from the pain
copyright Dave Matthews

Obviously this is only half the song, but truth be told I am tired of copying and pasting, Blogger doesn't paste it right and you have to edit it....uggghh. I added it to my playlist...just go listen to it. It is such a beautiful snapshot of human relationships....all varieties of them. And a beautiful description of some of the relationships in my life.


The Flying Circus Mom said...

I LOVE LOVE LOVE Dave Matthews band, he has such touching songs, I had not heard this one...sounds like me and my husband lol....thanks again for your comments and we will get through this together....I have my BIG appointment in a couple of weeks to see how crazy I am...I am trying to keep a sense of humor about it all but it is hard..reading your story has touched me and helped me so much to know that I am not the only one suffering, so keep on sista!

Shannon said...

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE this song!!!! Thanks for reminding me of it!!! It is so beautiful!!! I knew you'd be back. I'm just sorry you've endured so much pain in order to get where you are today!!