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Friday, August 1, 2008

Pharmaceutical Phreak Out

Drug induced mania....not for the faint of heart. My Dr.'s plan to double my depression meds to lift me out of the depressive state I was in is working...maybe too well. I am in full blown manic mode today. In fact there is so much energy I couldn't be creative if I tried. My mind won't shut the fuck up long enough to focus on anything for longer than a few minutes. I am going to try to sew later today, that is calming for me....if I can concentrate on it. I don't like this. I feel like I am on speed or something. I am making a call to the Dr to see if I can just go back to my regular dose. I don't know if two days of double dosing is sufficient enough to 'fix' the problem, but this is a bit too much to handle.

On a good note I have discussed my predicament with one of my daycare parents who has experience with this matter and works in the social services field. She assured me there is no reason to start worrying about closing my day care. She did inform me though that the small community we live in tends to have a lot of misconceptions about mental illness, and to be prepared for the backlash should I choose to reveal my struggles to people. Obviously I have done so here...but I think I will take her advice and not wave my 'Crazy Flag' too high on my flag pole around here for now. I always swore my struggles would not be some dirty little secret...but maybe for the sake of my family, for now, it needs to be. Although now that MIL knows....I am sure it won't be long before everyone knows. I hope I am wrong about that....

4 comments:

The Flying Circus Mom said...

I just want to say thank you for sharing so openly what you are experiencing. I too am going through a rough time and can so relate to how you feel. I am scheduled to go see a "shrink" in a few weeks to get re-evaluated and see if I am in fact bi polar or have some other weird psychotic problem....hang in there...and know you are in my thoughts and prayers

The Pastoral Princess said...

((((((Hugs))))))) You are in my thoughts and prayers too sweetie!! Hang in there!

Liz said...

I'm here for you!

The Pastoral Princess said...

Thanks Liz!