Pharmaceutical Phreak Out

Drug induced mania....not for the faint of heart. My Dr.'s plan to double my depression meds to lift me out of the depressive state I was in is working...maybe too well. I am in full blown manic mode today. In fact there is so much energy I couldn't be creative if I tried. My mind won't shut the fuck up long enough to focus on anything for longer than a few minutes. I am going to try to sew later today, that is calming for me....if I can concentrate on it. I don't like this. I feel like I am on speed or something. I am making a call to the Dr to see if I can just go back to my regular dose. I don't know if two days of double dosing is sufficient enough to 'fix' the problem, but this is a bit too much to handle.

On a good note I have discussed my predicament with one of my daycare parents who has experience with this matter and works in the social services field. She assured me there is no reason to start worrying about closing my day care. She did inform me though that the small community we live in tends to have a lot of misconceptions about mental illness, and to be prepared for the backlash should I choose to reveal my struggles to people. Obviously I have done so here...but I think I will take her advice and not wave my 'Crazy Flag' too high on my flag pole around here for now. I always swore my struggles would not be some dirty little secret...but maybe for the sake of my family, for now, it needs to be. Although now that MIL knows....I am sure it won't be long before everyone knows. I hope I am wrong about that....