Sunday, June 22, 2008

Beauty Secrets from a Farm Girl

I have chronically dry skin! Remember my hooker knees? Yeah...well I have hooker feet now too. This always happens in the summer. I wear flip flops or I am barefoot nearly 24/7 and my feet get very rough. I guess it's just a part of aging because I used to have beautiful feet! I have a very long, narrow, size 11 foot with perfectly slanted toes and nicely shaped toenails. These days those feet look like some kind of weird cross blend of an alligator and chicken foot! Uggh!! And my big toes get so hard around the nail that they crack. Deep cracks that cause enough pain to feel like there are nails sticking in them. Not the kind of nails that you use to hang your pictures on the wall in the house....barn nails! Big fat barn nails! If I don't keep them slathered up really good with something they sometimes bleed.

I have decided to share my beauty secret with the world! Great for hooker knees, chicken feet, alligator elbows and cracked heifer nipples:

Yes that picture in the middle is exactly what you think it is.

Directions: For use on cows, thoroughly wash treated teats and udder with separate towels before each milking. To avoid contamination after each milking, bathe the udder with plenty of hot water, strip milk out and dry skin. Apply Bag Balm freely and massage gently with this proven ointment twice daily.

Bag Balm has been the premiere choice of cattle and dairy farmers since 1899, and I am here to tell you it is a family staple in this house....Especially for this heifer!! God knows I can sympathize with the cracked nipples, been there done that a few times! (but don't use Bag Balm on human nipples, it's not sterile...I recommend Lansinoh for nursing mommies) Bag Balm works great on all my dry spots and transforms me from bar trash to heavenly hash! It works great on fresh tattoos too ;0)

For all you city dwellers who can't just run to the farm supply store and get your very own vintage tin of bag balm....just buy lanolin. It's the same thing. Did you know lanolin is made from sheep sweat? Yummy!


The Pastoral Princess said...

I just realized my frequent use of the word "nipple" and "hooker" is gonna draw in all the freaks and perverts!! LMAO! Sorry boys...just sharing the joys of Bag Balm!

The Pastoral Princess said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tammy said...

Hey! I've been using bag balm for eons. Well, ok, 50 or so years. Grew up on with my folks ... my dad actually used it on the cows' udders after milking. Great stuff!

Perhaps you'll like the adorable little peepers my good bud discovered on her pond:

Anonymous said...

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mama's got moxie said...

well, wow!! i had no idea that lanolin was made from sheep sweat! so glad that i'm learning that a year and a half after nursing. hahaha... i probably would've just dealt with the cracked nipples! :) actually, thanks for the tip! i would've never thought to use lanolin on my feet.

BoufMom9 said...

OMG! The strangest thing is that i almost did a post today about Bag Balm!!!! I kid you not!
I was slathering it on my son's butt today (he has HORRIBLE diaper rash right now) and I was thinking...I bet people don't know about this stuff.
I can't believe you posted about this (stinky) liquid gold! I hate the smell, but HOLY! It works like magic!!!!

The Pastoral Princess said...

Yeah, you pretty much smell like a farm vets office for a few hours, I suppose I should warn ya'll about that...but if you use it at night the only person you are gonna offend is your husband and it can't be any worse than his farts right?

Kate said...

One of my son's home health nurses told us of Bag Balm a couple years ago--he gets it slathered on with every diaper change! You can actually by it at! I'm not sure if it's in the store, too. I think stocks it, too. I hadn't thought about using it on my feet--good idea!