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Thursday, June 26, 2008

What If What If What If

What if all the good 'crazy' (for lack of a better term) things about me disappear?? What if there is no more air guitar to Van Halen in the kitchen? What if there is no more shameless humiliation for the sake of the children's giggles. What if my ballsy attitude disappears? Will I still be able to talk the leg of a stranger I bump into at the store? Will I still be brave and fearless? Will people still see me as 'perky'? I like those things about me.

Rationally I understand that these things are part of who I am....I don't know why I worry about loosing them, but I do.

I made my appointment. The soonest they could see me is July 8th, unless my symptoms get scary. I've never really had scary feelings before....I'm just wacko @:0)~ If I could just turn my brain off for a little while it would be great.

Who knows maybe they will decide it's not what I think it is....maybe I am in early menopause...I know a few women who have lost their marbles over that!

2 comments:

BoufMom9 said...

You will always be the wonderful person God intended. No medication will change that.
:) Debi

Dee and Elijah Sue said...

Take a big deep breath..relax..ya right..I know right now that you can't do that. How do I know that?

Our Husband Bud is Bi-polar. Is he happy? are we happy? yup..

The medications they have today are wonderful. Finding the right combo can be a little hard, but doable.

Will you still be wondefully wacky? Of course you will. The core of you won't change.

Being Bi-Polar today is nothing like it was 10 or even 5 years ago.
Just make sure you are seeing a modern up to date Doctor. Try to see a specialist, there will be less messing around trying to find the right drugs.

Try not to worry honey. You will be fine.......ES