Hari Krishna in the Shaggin' Wagon

Well whether it's right or wrong I am going to blog about something extremely personal. Partly because I am just mad as hell and need to vent and also perhaps there is a man out there who can give some insight as to WTF is going on with my husband! LOL! They say women are complicated....give me a break! If there is something wrong with me it will usually coming pouring out of my mouth within 15 minutes...I am like Old Faithful in that aspect...and I can't ever keep my damn mouth shut, my husband on the other hand is like a bottle of cheap champagne...once you finally get the damn cork off you are gonna be sorry cause it's fast, furious and it doesn't even taste good! So here's the scoop.

Hubby and I have been fussin' and grouchy with each other for weeks. Of course I am of the opinion that it's him being the butthole, but I know when you throw in some PMS, a nasty cold, and insomnia, I ain't no picnic either! But we sat down several weeks ago and tried to have an adult conversation about it and clear the air. He states that the biggest problem with him is always worrying about money. We do live very modestly, and I try my best to pinch a penny where ever we can. He hates living this way. Part of the reason we are on such a tight budget is because we both made the decision for me to be a stay at home mom. He was adamant about it, and I was grateful to have a husband who supported my desire to do so. However, as most of you SAHM's can attest..it's hell on the wallet. So I hold down several different money making ventures that still allow me to be home all but a few hours a week.

So anyhoo we talk about this, I once again offer to go back to work (we have this same 'conversation' about once every 3 months), which he refuses to even hear. He always says he's not meaning to make me feel like I need to go back to work when he worries about money. Well a week ago a friend of ours mentioned to me about a job opening at the local Ameren station. This is a high paying, cushy benefits job. He told me to pass the info on to my hubby, which I did, knowing full well my husband will never leave his current job because he is terrified of change....terrified!!

So all week last week he has been an ass....and I have been sick, so I have very little patience for it ya know? Arrrggghhhh!! Finally it comes to boil last night and I just let him have it about being an asshole all week and he spits out that he has been upset all week because I want him to change jobs. All I did was pass on the info....honestly once I mentioned it, it was out of my mind and I forgot all about it. I knew he would never take that job! So he's going on and on about me bringing up this job change when "you should know I can't (won't) do that"....so I tell him the only reason I even brought up the subject was because he told me not two weeks ago that all of his stress and worry and bitchiness comes from money concerns. This job would almost double his income.....it was worth a mention right? I don't give a shit where he works as long as we can feed our kids. I am not one of those gals who has a need for nice things...I could care less. I'll drive my 1999 mini-van until 2020 if she'll keep chugging along! Hell I might even get a tye dye paint job and make her into a shaggin' wagon :0) And I am of the opinion that he should know me better by now.....All I have ever wanted is for him to be happy. If he decided to toss out his mechanics tools and throw on some burlap sacks and sing "Hari Krishna" at the airport I'd be right there beside him, barefoot and grinnin'.

So I say to him, I feel like I can't win for loosing. You worry about money, I offered a solution. You take the solution and turn it into something I am demanding of you, and then you obsess about it for a week and treat me like mud for it...when it was an idea you created in your head. I never once said that I wanted him to change jobs. All I said was "Oh so and so said to tell you there is a job opening at Ameren if you were interested..." Then it was far from my mind after that......but he assumed that I was thinking about 24/7 and just waiting for him to go grab and application.....and he's mad at me for 7 days for an assumption. He admitted that I was right and he did apologize...but I am still mad...

I don't understand men.