Wednesday, July 2, 2008

The Saga of a Bad Wife

It seems that I selfishly claim night time as MY alone, quiet time...time for me to reconnect with friends, blog, read blogs, catch up on celebrity gossip and world headlines (yes in that order...LOL!) Usually everyone is asleep and it's not a problem if I sit here for 3 hours and relax. However last night hubby had been out helping some neighbors farm (a.k.a. standing around drinking beer, talking about farming but never actually getting anything done) and he came home tipsy and chatty. I found myself irritated. I tried to hide it, but I was! Isn't that terrible? I spend so much time being angry that we are so disconnected, and yet when he actually wants to talk all I can think about is "Would you just hush and go to bed so I can get back to my alone time...." I feel kind of bad about that this morning. And I think he is a little miffed. I tried to apologize.

It's hard to explain to him the the web for me, is like the TV for him. God forbid I want to talk to him during Ice Road Truckers he will literally 'ssshh' me so I don't interrupt it! I don't get TV time, I don't get quiet time. I don't have 15 minutes in the car to and from work to unwind, listen to music, or be alone with my thoughts. There are no lunch breaks or smoke breaks or even fart breaks! I don't even get to go to the bathroom by myself!! I cherish my night time quiet moments. And I would rather connect with people online and catch up with my friends in real life and cyberspace, than zone out in front of the TV. Frankly if I try to watch TV I just zonk out! But he doesn't understand why I would be interested in reading about some stranger's life on a blog....I tried to explain it's like reality Ice Road Truckers without the 18 wheels, diesel engines, and near death experiences....of course that just takes all the fun out of it now doesn't it?

Sometimes I sit here and just enjoy the silence...all day my ears are bombarded with

"I want Mommy, I want Mommy! I want Mommy" this little chant has evolved into what sounds like one single word coming out of my 2 year old's mouth "Iwanmommy, Iwanmommy" and the trick is to see how many times you can repeat it in a span of 60 seconds, getting faster and faster....

And then of course there the blood curdling screams that follow a toy haven been taken away.
And the slamming doors of pissed off kids
And the whining of the older school kids, the "I'm bored..." (my standard line is "only boring people get bored")
And the tattle tales
And the happy giggles and squeals of kids playing
And the rough house screaming of the older kids getting out of hand
And the battery powered toy noises
And the songs
And the tears
And the snores....they don't even sleep quietly

Sometimes I am just all talked that a crime?


Shannon said...

so MY husband isn't the only one experiencing web envy? He gets frustrated with me more often when not because I'm spending too much time on the computer. No more time than he spends watching Tv- I might add! O well. His problem. Not mine!

*C* said...

I feel ya. We don't do TV, but the internet keeps me sane. I feel isolated unless I can keep in touch, and I like this much better than the phone.
Everyone needs their own time to unwind. Honestly, I like my nights without Hubby, because I can spend my time however I like with no apologies. lol

Mum-me said...

Don't worry - I think just about every mum on the planet knows what you mean and how you feel! I certainly do. I missed HB when he was in Melbourne, but at least the evenings were MY time. Now I have to share MY time with HIM and sometimes it is really hard to keep calm. (HB doesn't understand either. I try to explain that he gets lunch breaks etc... and when he gets home his work is finished whereas mine is neverending. He just does no get it. Men!)

3rd... said...

you.. all talked out?! nahh.. can't be
start boring him with all the latest gossip from all the blog operas and he'll tune out soon enough I am sure LOL